Latest SA meet

Good feedback.

I have met 8 SA girls now I believe since Jan 1 this year. All but two during business travel; one is local; one is 2 hours driving away.

First one was awesome, young, good sex, but she texted me a couple of weeks later that she found a vanilla partner. Second was a MILF local and we've had 3 dates (1 concert; 2 casino), but then she started texting me very weird messages, and wanted to be FB friends (I never told her my real name) so I've cut her off. Third was an Instagram model knock-out in LA, and we are still in touch. Have plans to fly her up to Vegas this summer for a weekend. Fourth and Fifth were in Dallas. Four was great, super hot, but when we got to her place and I paid the PPM, she became cold and didn't want to have sex. My mistake of course, should have paid after the deed. Just didn't see it coming ... at all. Texted her a few times after, but no reply. Fifth was basically an escort, just quick in and out, not memorable. Sixth was pretty decent again ... dinner, movie, followed by FS at my hotel. She did quickly want to leave after one pop though, won't repeat if I'm back in town. Seven was the first one where she really didn't match the pictures that well. She was a bit older, and definitely not as fit as she made it seem in her pics and profile. Did go back to her place and had some fun, but also not memorable and won't repeat.

Which brings me to my eight and current one where I am super conflicted. She lives in a town 2 hours away (so 4 hours driving roundtrip), which I do not visit for business, so it's been very difficult finding excuses to get out and see her. So far, we've had 4 lunch dates for a couple of hours where I've basically skipped out of work (I work from home so it's doable), and they have been fun. One time we went shopping at the mall, bought her some Victoria Secret stuff. One time we went to the casino and a nice walk along the river. We also text via KIK pretty much daily. But she's one of those "I want to take it slow" girls, so other than some light kissing there has been no more action for about a month. In the meantime, I've probably spent over $1200 on this girl, including helping to pay for a lawyer for a domestic case, lunches, gambling money and in gasoline. I really care for her - which is probably my first mistake here - and she's young and very pretty, but I can't escape the feeling I'm being rinsed. I know you're all thinking I'm a fool and am being rinsed. As I'm writing down these thoughts, it's becoming more clear. So far, she has not held up her end of the bargain - at all. We may have lunch tomorrow, and if so, I am going to just be straight with her, and it will probably end. There are just too many fish in the SA sea to try to make something difficult work.

So it's been a mixed bag. But I do think my perspective on SA has changed. Originally, I wanted to find girls during business travel, and I've had success doing that. It's super easy. Most SA girls will also see somebody for a night if the price is right. But it's just as easy to find an escort or take a stripper back to hotel, and that is cheaper. Now, I kind of want to find a local girl I can see regularly on the side, have lunches where I don't need to drive 4 hours roundtrip, and have an amazing sexual experience. After all, that's why we do this, right???? 8 girls and really only one where the intimacy was very good (not amazing), and that is a low success ratio based on what I read on sugar forums online. I need to find one of these real sexual girls I keep hearing so much about!!!

Good stuff, Steverox.

I’m hoping this one becomes a regular and that’s what she’s indicating too. I think me being upfront with the deal breakers helped a lot

I still can’t get over the sexting last night. She was sending me awesome pics and begging me to send in return. When I told her she had me all worked up and I’d have to go rub one out, she said she wanted to see...wanted me to video it and send! LOL. I couldn’t do that...but we did have fun.

She said she loves to be dominated too. I told her to randomly send me sexy pics while I’m away on my trip to drive me crazy. As I said, she seems game for anything. Can’t wait for our first actual sexual encounter, I just hope it lives up to the build up.

-->" I can't escape the feeling I'm being rinsed"

You drive 4 hours to see her round trip, for 2 hour dates, you've spent $1200 on her for no sexual benefits. I think your vague feeling about being rinsed might be on to something :)

So, obviously enough you realize it more as you typed it, but there's a lot of serious mistakes there. Number one, driving 4 hours roundtrip. I actually have had nice times with women who live 2 hours away -- but there's a hard requirement that we meet in a city halfway (which is always San Francisco) at the beginning of the arrangement. I'm not driving 2 hours one way until we're spending weekends together, to make the commute time worth it Alas, many SA girls are not mobile, so that's a non-starter. Number two, paying allowance and/or shopping etc., before there's intimacy. No matter what the most manipulative, stripperweb-like women say, an arrangement is supposed to benefit both of you. Another hard pass for me, with no exceptions, is paying allowance (or allowance replacements, like shopping) before there's intimacy. That extends to the first non-intimacy meet-and-greet as well, where at most I might offer to pay for her gas/parking/uber. Number three, "I really care for her", enough said. You made some other insane mistakes as well -- paying her before intimacy?? Crazy ... maybe time to take stock of your processes here?

I wouldn't be terribly worried about what you read on sugar forums ... many guys there (for that matter, many guys on tuscl) seem to use the sugar world as an alternative place to find an escort. Which is fine ... but if you're after a classic-style arrangement, you will be kissing some frogs. But you do need to really REALLY think about your priorities

"She's 25, smart as hell, likes a lot of the same things (offered first without me hinting or prodding), and she already deactivated her account prior to meeting."

Sounds like a really good potential arrangement and the fact that she's deactivating (while not foolproof) almost certainly means she's serious about you.

There's something about SA that feels a little bit off to me. It feels like dating. I know that's not the intention, but that's how it feels.

Guys who do it seem to think of it as being an alternative to escorting/mongering, except that the girls are low-volume and you get to see them in person first for the cost of drinks or a meal. This sounds all well and good, but not all of the girls are on the same page; lots of them probably don't realize that they are now de facto hookers. Some of them likely believe they're starting a relationship with a rich and generous guy. I would imagine that there would be a lot of misfires and awkward miscommunications.

@Burlington: I think you're correct in saying these girls are de-facto hookers. However if the age difference is less than, say, a decade and there's mutual respect and mutual attraction, then it really does amount to online dating. And some of the younger crowd does use SA as a dating ap.

Mine are never age-appropriate -- but I think these college girls are not deluded and know exactly what's going on. It's fun, it's become socially acceptable, it can be completely safe(unlike escorting), and there's a certain amount of mentoring going on. But at it's heart, it's just a benign form of prostitution.

-->"There's something about SA that feels a little bit off to me. It feels like dating. I know that's not the intention, but that's how it feels. "

Maybe it's just not for you. On the other hand, maybe just a little change in perspective is needed. Even with my age-inappropriate girls, it certainly doesn't feel like "real" dating to me -- that said, I am simultaneously really-dating age-appropriate women, so the contrast is pretty clear for me.

I have no idea, really, to what extent the girls are or are not in denial about prostitution... I do know that to whatever extent that they realize it, they struggle with it, which is why you see some of the affects of dating, the empahsis on things not "feeling transactional", etc. Whether they're in denial or not, I do understand why a 21-year-old attractive college student might need some coping mechanisms to deal with having sex for money with a middle-aged man. For me, it's like bicycles and scooters -- both have 2 wheels and help you get around, but they don't feel them same; and an arrangement definitely doesn't feel like dating to me, although both differ from escorts and so have that in common

Thx @randommember...I agree. All signs point to this being a solid on-going relationship. At least at the start.

I'm cautiously hopeful, if that's even a thing.

WRT #4, why not invite her to the wedding? :))

@georgmicrodong

My wife might object a tad :D

Ah well, I’m guessing that leaving the wife at home isn’t an option then, eh? :)))

To revisit this, met with #4 last night and she was amazing. No clock watcher at all and her sexual appetite is incredible. Her head game is second to none, too (NQNS).

All weekend while away she would text me pics teasing me, which drove me insane in a great way :)

Even though I had two sugar booty calls yesterday, I’m going to make this girl my sole sugar baby and see how this goes. Oh, woke up to a third booty call message this morning, lol.

It does suck to drive 4 hours round trip to see a SB.

Well, if we are to believe the founder of SA, the intent is not to offer an escort service so why are we looking there for PPM? I think most of the young and beautiful SBs want a true SD who will commit to a long term arrangement in order to become intimate. That makes them feel more like being in a relationship. A true SD is not looking for value (PPM) since money is no concern to them.

SA is not for the TUSCL monger looking for model types willing to do PPM. Strip clubs are a better hunting ground.

The run of the mill SB is

I like both clubs and SA. For different reasons.

"For me, it's like bicycles and scooters -- both have 2 wheels and help you get around, but they don't feel them same; and an arrangement definitely doesn't feel like dating to me, although both differ from escorts and so have that in common"

You know it's like dating when she falls asleep in your bed after sex and when she wakes up the next morning ( if in a hotel) wants to know if you have time for breakfast.