She likes me, she really likes me

I allow myself to convince me of ie quite often, but let it go when I leave the club.

He's not really in love...he's chasing that adrenaline rush of being with someone fresh, new, and very attractive.....Most girls are not in love with you, the PL either. My latest told me she loved me one day and I just ignored it....I did enjoy the activities we did together OTC and the sex don't get me wrong...But I couldn't believe she'd fall in love in a few weeks time...And later I was proven true....She mostly loved my money. I'm glad I always kept that in the back of my mind...It softens the blow quite a bit...:)

Wait, there are other message boards?!?

Anyway, did this “guy” mention anything about drinking Jack Daniels and wearing a white 3-piece suit?

Well I'm a bit older than him and I tend to believe there are strippers that like me---doesn't mean they still don't expect me to bring along my friends Grant, Jackson, and Franklin.

I've also thought there are girls that could be the one......the one that meets up with me outside the club. The one that comes back to my hotel with me.

Do you mean the story in "Pretty Woman" is not true ? Well, maybe it would be if I were a billionaire corporate raider.

I did once, got burned. She was very good actress. I knew it was the money, but got too pulled into the fantasy.

Now I just enjoy the fantasy for what it is, not real, but fun.

If a guy can get with similar women who are not strippers, then possible strippers also like him - if the only hot young chicks than turn out to "like him" are strippers, then wake-up and smell the stripper-perfume

i.e. if a guy has to go to strip clubs to find a GF/date, then the reality should be obvious

He only wants them for their looks, and they only want him for his money. Seems fair enough.

i.e. if a guy has to go to strip clubs to find a GF/date, then the reality should be obvious--no truer words have been written.

She might like you more than other customers. But until she does something with you she doesn't do with other customers, or goes as far as you want her to, she doesn't like you as much as you want.

I often "want to believe." But it doesn't turn into OTC nearly as often as I hope.

The only stripper that I believe ever had any type of real feelings for me is the one who fucked me for free many times. The others all did it for money which is obviously their motivation.

Reply to him on that message board to “go for it.” Go al RIL.

What could possibly go rong????????

Footman-->"So anyone ever gotten to the point that they believe a stripper legitimately likes them, or do you always tend to stay on the side of not believing what nice things she says about you?"

My broad thinking is along the lines of Papi: "If a guy can get with similar women who are not strippers, then possible strippers also like him"

That said, I also agree with JS69-->"The only stripper that I believe ever had any type of real feelings for me is the one who fucked me for free many times". That is, I've had strippers turn to what are essentially friends with benefits. Pretty sure they all liked me on some level.

Of course, all of this hinges on what you mean by "legitimately likes them". Like them how? Like a BF or FWB? That's not happening very often, unless you fit into Papi's class of guys who score 22-year-old 9s in real life, too. Beyond that, like every person in the world except for those who only deal with their customers for short periods of time (e.g., McDonalds cashiers, used car salesmen, toll collectors), strippers like some customers more than others -- the relationship is still a business one, but just like you probably like some of your customers more than others, so do they

Many SCers have faves, if said faves did not do a good job of making a PL feel special and feel like he's liked, would she be a fave and reap the reward$ of being a fave (i.e. almost exclusive acce$$ to his wallet on a consistent basis in the club).

"It's elementary my dear Watson"

All commentary aside I've had a couple of strippers do things for me that there is no doubt at the very least appreciated me and probably like me on some level beyond the normal good customer relationship.

Oddly I've had more escorts than strippers fall into this category over the years.

When I was in my 20's, 30's and even 40's I dated my fair share of good looking women without the business relationship in play but as you continue to age but your taste in women doesn't I think you need to be realistic. Even Charlie Sheen in Two and Half Men eventually aged out of getting anything but strippers and escorts.

It does happen but I've learned not to look for it to and to never expect any special treatment.

I truly believe I am unique to my atf and various cf's and that they like me better and treat me better than their other customers. Sadly, the light turns green, I come back to reality and I accept that I mean nothing to them, other than cash. I drive on and by the time I get home, I remember how fucking awesome my home life is.

“So anyone ever gotten to the point that they believe a stripper legitimately likes them”

Yes.

Predominantly fantasy that any stripper really digs a customer. Yes, a regular could be less creepy than others, thus the stripper may "like" that regular more than others.

But true affection that leads to legitimate relationship where money is not a primary motivator? Extremely rare. Chances are higher if there's an age difference of 10 years or less (accompanied by the customer being financially independent, but even then money is a primary motivator). From a customer perspective - dating? - sure, why not. Relationship on the road to marrying the stripper? - the customer, especially the currently married one, best be engaging in some major introspection (as in skibum above - "by the time I get home, I remember how fucking awesome my home life is.")

Basically impossible to take money out of the equation. As an anecdote, during the .com bubble I had a client who cashed out of the company he founded. Not the best looking guy, or the most pleasant or emotionally stable. He was on match.com for a year prior, getting hits only from chicks in the 5-6 range. After he cashed out he added the 2 words "financially independent" to his profile, and immediately got inundated with hits from so many chicks in the 9-10 range, and that tells you about all you need to know about money being a motivating factor.

I’m not taking money out of the equation, but I’ll let you in on a poorly kept secret. The older guys that are in good shape and are financially independent, attract lots of younger women with daddy issues, yes those daddy issues are real, and more than a few women both strippers and civvies have them.
Now that being said it’s a tough row to hoe when it comes to strippers, an awful lot of them have besides the daddy issues real intimacy issues which causes them to be attracted to abusive types, and that is the real storyline.

^well then, I better drop 25 lbs. right quick

^^and become financially independent

^^^Both of those would work in your favor.

Since the weather is miserable here today and no one else but me seems to be in the office I am spending an inordinate amount of time on here but twentyfive has it right ( again)

In my case it wasn't a change in my finances as much as a physical change in me. I never disclose what I am worth or what I make on SA or to woman and most times I underplay my wealth. But I did drop the weight of an average five year old and got a lot leaner, and physically fit after nearly a decade of not exercising.

Some of how younger women responded to me afterwards I am sure had to do with my confidence level but I always was a cocky SOB and I admit it. Most people unless they really know me have a hard time guessing my age ( good gene pool as well)

In the strip club game, I think dancers are supposed to pretend they like us, and custies are supposed to pretend we believe them

^ Papi +1

It kinda goes both ways. It’s not like I’m deluded enough to believe that my younger, attractive, rich customers actually want a real relationship w me, regardless of what they say.

^^^how about the older poor ones ;)

Sure. Honestly screening through the sales pitch I have had more than a few that legitimately liked being around me. They liked my money too. Some would just sit, chat and hang out with me for fun and no $ when they were not hustling.

^ yeah, I'll say anything when I got a hard-on

The simple test of whether a dancer “really” likes you - is to stop paying. If the dancer still wants to keep seeing you - then there’s a possibility she might find you less despicable than other 45 year old perverts.

If this guy on some other (less reputable) message board can pull that off - it would make his arguments more believable.

However, if this guy is from San Jose and rides a Huffy bike, then he’s just found another board for his delusional rants.

Bj99 - I think younger guys would be happy to date a sexy, intelligent girl like you.

You’ve got so much more to offer than many dancers. Your body is incredible - and you have the intellect that will impress many men.

@Bj99 what a bunch of horny bastards eh? ;)

Oh come on, Bj99, I’m betting every single one of your customers wants a “relationship” with you. I also suspect your idea of the ideal relationship is quite different from theirs. :)

All of us Daddy-o’s here dig strippers, but in the real world there’s still a lot of social stigma attached - i.e., the bad girl you sleep with versus the good girl you bring home to meet your parents. Maybe that’s what Bj99 is referring to.

You guys are such romantics. ;P ...Except realDougster. He’s a pussy coward who is too scared to make his little observations and jokes as his handle.. on an anonymous site. Sad.

As others have said stop paying her and see if you still feel she likes you.

I’m a romantic horn dog! Lol!

Conversely, if she wants to know if you really like her, she could stop sleeping w you, and see if you still pay her, right?

^^^Touche’

Why would I pay a girl to date me? Just being with me should be enough of a prize!

the male version of GPS!

-->"The simple test of whether a dancer “really” likes you - is to stop paying. If the dancer still wants to keep seeing you - then there’s a possibility she might find you less despicable than other 45 year old perverts."

It's not just a simple test, I think it's the only test... beyond that, I think it's best to assume that the girls are better at playing this game than you are, and her acting beats your bullshit detector every time; the only way to know what's what is to change the rules.

That said, all of this hinges on this weird concept guys have of "really likes" (and I realize you put it in quotes because you probably see this, too). It's like some people have this odd one-dimensional concept of people where they do something for money, or they like you, but there's no intermixing, ever. As I alluded to above, every person I know who has customers, likes some customers more than others... that doesn't mean the basis of the relationship isn't that it's a business relationship, and that if that business relationship was severed, that would end things. But except for folks where the business relationship is one-time and short-lived (toll collectors, used car salesmen, fast food cashiers, etc), people like some customers better than others. Speaking for myself, there are definitely customers I like and enjoy interacting with more than others, and those customers I like certainly get minor benefits.

All this backbending some guys do to try to explain why a stripper did something that's un-business-like, is often more easily explained by occam's razor as, "eh, she likes you as a customer" (or, alternatively, isn't as revolted by you as by her other customers). A stripper can do that without having personal feelings or wanting a customer to become her boyfriend or any other over-romantic silliness.

^ well put. Plus, imagine if one of your customer stopped paying you bc they want to see if you are really friends. Pretty fucked up.

Bj99 - just making sure she’s not keeping me around as some sort of aging male sex slave!

@Subraman I agree with you, but there’s a part you are not considering, the stripper unlike any other salesperson is being used as a sort of surrogate girlfriend, and she has an obligation to make this clear that she may really like you but this is how she makes her living. When she leads on some poor slob that has gotten caught in her illusion, she is crossing a line between fantasy and con merchant.
Many of us here, have gotten hurt badly by one of these love con artists, and as a result that is where the collective memory of this particular group is.

25: well, I think you're making nice progress here in group :) If what you're saying is: many tusclers have come up with a one-dimensional and unrealistic model of stripper behavior, possibly as a defense mechanism as a result of a previous emotional injury, I agree with that.

I also, of course, agree that many of us here (me included) have gotten conned by a stripper at some point or other, agree that if the stripper manipulated and encouraged it that it's unethical, and understand why the defense mechanism exists. I'm just pointing out that the "stripper as not a real human" model isn't a realistic one. Humans can have relationships where the foundation is the business relationship, but still "like" the person -- even though, if the business relationship dissolves, that is the end of things.

I think it’s a little unrealistic to expect someone who is willing to give blow jobs and have sex for money, inorder to pay her bills, to feel any ethical obligation to remind you that it’s all just a fantasy, and she doesn’t have any real feelings for you.

Admittedly my last atf/otc girl relationship turned more into a sugar daddy / sugar baby thing. I was feeding her money whether or not we fucked pretty much all the time...I was happy though she treated me like a king and when I asked to fuck, normally along the lines of..."It would be really great if we could fuck, if you're up to it of course"...Every single time she'd give me the full GFE foreplay, sweet talk, and a amazingly good fuck and hang with me after...and of course we were already together before fucking at her place or out to eat...Not once did she ever say no....I would have respected her if she did to some degree....But I have to admit for the 3 months or so things were just amazing.

@Bj99 right on....I always keep that in the back of my mind....though I was slightly mind fucked when she blurted out "I love you" the one day....and then a few days later I wondered if she fell off her rocker and was serious...

I can kind of sense when a stripper might like me but for the most part, I always assume a stripper likes money way more. I come in to the club assuming the stripper likes money and I walk out of the club assuming the stripper likes money. Nothing changes

@Bj99 look up what happened to Dadillac, tell me why she shouldn't do jail time.

Not to sound like Ricky lake, or get all deep, but you cannot expect someone to treat you better, to have more respect for you, or to take you more seriously, than they do themselves. Even parents fail to do it, so don’t expect strippers to.

I didn’t follow the dadillac saga.

I can't really see myself as being romantically involved with a stripper. When I think of what I want from an actual relationship, it is a partnership of peers. If we start off from a position of financial inequality, there is no going back. Also a lot of strippers drink, smoke, and/or do drugs. And I am not about that.

With that said, I am not beyond having a sugard babby / sd relationship if it goes. I mean the point is to have each others company but have it being transactional. And that is fine with me. I don't want the hassle of a relationship but I do want company and intimacy on my terms.

Alec: although not exactly the same reasoning, those are my same conclusions. I am completely uninterested in being romantically involved in a stripper, it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy (twentyfive) :) A number of my ATF relationships turned more SD/SB, and those were pretty great

My criteria for if a stripper likes me:
* Casual sex
* Has me by my first name in her phone
* Doesnt care if I come to the club or not
* Calls me to check up on me
* Still wants to spend time with me OTC when her cycle is on.
*She pays for dinner every now and then.

Yeah, if she has you on her ph under your name instead of under "Money" then that's a good sign

I don't think I could ever get involved with a stripper romantically, unless she was stripping as a way to fund her college degree or something like that. A lot of these strippers are just looking at the short-term and thinking "alright, I'm probably in my prime in physical looks and I have no other options, so I'm gonna start stripping and making tons of money for this short window I have. I get to party a ton, too." I naturally find this type of person unattractive and it just so happens that a lot of these strippers think like this. You might find that one unicorn of a stripper that has long-term plans (and are intelligent) and is stripping as a means to what she wants to do-- whether that's paying her way through her undergraduate degree and eventually going to medical school, or gaining the funds to create her own startup. This is the type of person that most likely has the quality someone like myself would find highly attractive.

I also think that you shouldn't expect a stripper to maybe start liking you and perhaps date you if you've paid her money (other than stage tipping). You're paying for the girlfriend experience and she's providing you that fantasy. It's her job to maintain than fantasy and it's your job to have a healthy balance between reality and fantasy

I think she really likes me when she lets me put it in her pooper and then is willing to suck on it when I pull it out. Then I wake up from that silly thought when I hand her the money.

Alec and lolruned make some good points. I don't really recall any younger, attractive, rich guys that were in a "real" romantic relationship with a stripper. (Maybe a rapper? Or an NBA player?) Sure, these guys may be fucking them on the side, but they're looking to date/marry a nice respectable college girl with a regular job. If they're really rich and/or famous, they're dating/marrying pop singers, actresses, or Victoria Secret models.

One point I’d like to bring up is guys that score well and regularly with the ladies, are more susceptible to these rom cons because they are more used to getting their way with women in general, leading them to believe why wouldn’t she be into me ?
The nerdy guys that couldn’t get tail in a whorehouse, might actually have the advantage here, crazy as it sounds.

^ True. I think smart guys being intelligent and observant can recognize her non-verbal communication isn't corroborating what romantic con she's pulling.

^ I think he means that guys who know they don’t tend to score we’ll see that this is too good to be true, but guys who see themselves as players have enough of an ego to think she’s actually into them, since lots of women are.

@Bj99 that’s exactly what I meant, many of us guys that don’t really have a problem meeting and dating, sort of delude ourselves a bit.
Except for @Subraman he deludes himself a lot ;-D.
Just kidding bro you have really soft hands ;)

Ah, so it's even more pathetic and sad then I gave those guys credit for. Gotcha.

Yeah, that's how I saw it when I first went to a club with friends from school. It didn't make sense that a pair of 24 y/o independent women would be that into high school students. Yet that's how they acted. So we knew it didn't make sense.

Ok, since I am the one this is about, here is the story...someone earlier in the discussion said it best " it's the thrill of the hunt" what Mr footman must not realize is that the term " fall in like" is sarcastic . Do I, as a reasonably attractive 45 year old man love the challenge of talking a stunningly gorgeous 19 year old to go to dinner, dancing, possibly more if we really hit it off ?? YEP! Guilty! Do I pay girls to sit with me?, nope, sometimes tip them when they do..Do I give girls money for dating me? NEVER! If I'm dating a girl and she sits with me in the club for awhile, I will have a VIP $125 then send her to make money, most of the time , they come back to talk...so for basically chump change , I spend a couple hours with a hottie that I'm seeing outside the club. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right:) now, I'm getting ready to see a 30 year old Goddess....I think I'm "in like"....again...but this time.....

^ it would be a challenge if you were getting non-strippers to do this, o/w it's just busine$$ - this is analogous to shooting fish in a barrel then saying one loves the thrill of fishing

Well said Papi. There’s not much of a true chase there.

@OP You are setting yourself up for an epic fail. Take it from some of the guys here that are substantially older than you if it weren’t for the fact you have a few extra bucks, except for those girls with daddy issues they wouldn’t be sitting with you. Just my take on what you said.

There are different levels of being involved with a stripper......ice cream isn't only vanilla or chocolate and any time you have interaction between two people, especially of the opposite sex you nothing is clear cut.

There is no doubt that a fair amount of scamming goes on as well as posturing. It's given --and Bj99 is correct on multiple counts if the woman's ability to make a living revolves around her selling a fantasy than baring an outright deception or ROB it's on the guys to determine their level of comfort and or belief in what they are being told and sold.

As far as a dancer not accepting money I can't impress upon other readers here it presents a whole other set of issues that you don't want--in many cases you don't want to wish on your worst enemy.

The original questions ask had to do is it possible a stripper really likes you?--to me at least the answer is still yes.

Can there be a strong attraction or even love? yes there can

Does that necessarily equate to marriage or even living together or Happily Ever After? Not that I have ever seen.

Not interested in "happily ever after" married for 20 years ...tried that....more interested at this point, in having a good time....with that being said, if it would lead to more, it wouldn't be with a 19 year old, but a slightly older, intelligent woman that has a real job and a real life....well Papi Chulu , if it was like " shooting fish in a barrel'" everybody would be doing it, wouldn't they? Footman, for whatever reason has actually gone to dancers to ask about me....which I find hilarious... they post said " I was constantly bragging about" sorry never met the gentleman and have made a few posts, trying to give insight to guys on another forum as to why I'm successful...the absolute most I have ever spent on a young lady in the club would be $100-$150....if you think that's big money and I'm buying dates, you are too poor to go to a strip club:) I know guys that drop $500-$1000 once or twice a week. You are taking someone else's word for what I think and am doing...I love talking to, going out with young beautiful women....I am under know illusion that they are "in love" with me or me them...that would be kindly pathetic...and the original question " do they like me?" Yes they do, I'm nice, I can talk, I'm not grossly overweight or hideously ugly, I dress well, smell well, treat them with respect, I listen to their story without judging...I'm very confident and guess what? It works for me...I'm having the time of my life

@Notanewbie- what you just makes perfectly good sense sounds like you’re having fun

Thanks! A BLAST

To answer the OP's question,

Everything is relative. Compared to the other PLs and mongers that hang around the jack-shack, sure, many strippers prefer me. But out in the real world, after last-call? Not so much. So when they say things like "you're much better looking than the other guys here," or "you smell so good, compared to the last loser I was grinding on," yeah, I might believe them because they're just making a simple comparison. After all, a slap in the face is better than a kick in the nuts. But don't go convincing yourself that a slap in the face is a good thing. It's only good when compared to a kick in the nuts. So do they really like me? No. They may *prefer* me but that doesn't mean that they *like* me. It's not the same thing.

"they post said " I was constantly bragging about" sorry never met the gentleman and have made a few posts, trying to give insight to guys on another forum as to why I'm successful...the absolute most I have ever spent on a young lady in the club would be $100-$150....if you think that's big money and I'm buying dates, you are too poor to go to a strip club:) I know guys that drop $500-$1000 once or twice a week. You are taking someone else's word for what I think and am doing"

Well, well take your own words for it then....

"Met with accountant this morning. $3100 in "Entertainment expenses" in month of February! "

"Yes, on Valentines Night, fate had me re acquainted with the one girl that I was completely crazy about from the first time we met. Turns out, she's crazy about me!! I know, I know. You'll believe it when you see it but honestly this young beautiful young lady has truly captured the heart of the NEWB."

"After many many thousands of dollars invested, countless hours upon hours, evenings upon evenings. I think my buddies, John, Greg and others may have it figured out. Go in, have a couple drinks, tip an occasional young hottie on stage. Once every month or so, have a 2 for 1. Quit falling "in like" or at least as easy. That's easy to say since I have fallen seriously "in like" with a young lady recently that I think is "THE ONE"

"For the first time in a year and a half, I'm not talking to or dating any dancers."

But I digress.

Anyway there has been some good insights here. I always wondered if people legitimately believe that they are like James Bond when they hang out with the dancers, or if they are more like me and tend to not really believe anything that they say and at what point and time does the fantasy encroach too much on reality?

i’m too late to the party.

How did justme even find out about this thread? I thought we all agreed we wouldn't tell him

If a dancer likes you too much, that's when the drama can start.
Now that I'm older, probably won't run into that anymore.

I'm curious, what is the other forum? Id like to read the story there.

"I'm curious, what is the other forum? Id like to read the story there."

Traitor!