Is chivalry dead?

47 comments

• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  Good manners never go out of style, you did the right thing, but I would have not responded to her with that remark. Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Or you could have just shortened it and said "Bitch"
• skibum609

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  7 years ago

  I would have said: "My apologies, I mistook you for a lady" and walked away.
• Warrenboy75

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  7 years ago

  I can't count the number of times I've had something similar happen to me over the past 25 plus years.
  
  I'll never change....it was ingrained in me at a young age you open doors for women, you offer them your seat if they are standing, you help any time they appear to be struggling.
  
  You do what feels right.......and hopefully people understand the intent was real.
• doctorevil

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  7 years ago

  “you help any time they appear to be struggling.” Of couse. Why wouldn’t you offer to help if anyone, male or female, is obviously struggling, whether a lady with luggage or a guy with dead battery. It’s just part of living in a civilized society.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I’m pretty independent, just bc I don’t want to give strangers an in, or make myself vulnerable to someone who might hurt me, but there’s no reason not to be polite in declining someone’s help. Even women offer to help out other women. I hope you don’t let it get to you. It was defineitly her issue. Watching out for those around you, is not dead.
  
  Although.. I was teaching my son that he should walk on the street side, when walking next to a lady. He ask why, and I told him so that she’s futher from ppl passing, traffic, or spray and dust from cars. He said, “I think the sidewalk should be first come, first serve!”
• grand1511

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  7 years ago

  Yes, there are moments like that, but in my experience many more women than not still appreciate the simple gestures. For some it makes their day and I'll always err toward the chance of making that happen.
• sinclair

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  7 years ago

  She glares at me and says, “What, don’t you think I’m capable of carrying it myself?”.
  
  She is an angry feminist. Sadly, it is now extremely mainstream and PC to hate and degrade men at every instance. Welcome to fourth-wave feminism.
• JohnSmith69

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  7 years ago

  I think the majority of women appreciate a man who makes such an offer.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I can’t imagine that behavior being mainstream where I live. It sounds like she was having a man-hating day. Maybe a fight w her dad, or a boyfriend. I think her rude reaction has more to do w ppl becoming less polite in general, and not some feminist agenda.
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  I'm guessing she was having her monthly visitor.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  ^ haha! It doesn’t make me grumpy. You’d be grumpy too. :P
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  “Does” sorry lol.
• goldmongerATL

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  7 years ago

  I've had reactions like that for the simple act of holding a door I just walked through for the person behind me. "I can open my own doors, thank you." But they still walk through the door without holding it themselves.
• Huntsman

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  7 years ago

  Showing good manners is never wrong. But you lost your manners when you snapped back at her.
  
  We don’t control how others respond to us but we control, and are responsible for our own actions, at all times.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  ^ old men have done that to me, but I’m just used to doing it as a part of big groups from the military. It’s not even bc I don’t think they can. Ironically, I truly do struggle to open heavy doors. :(
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  It’s not dead, but some folks will misinterpret the gesture, and interject their own anger (in their responses).
  
  In your situation, the woman could have handled it much better. Your reply was unwarranted, but I can see your point.
  
  I’m happy to help anyone in need. It’s important to lend a hand. Whether the hand is accepted - is up to the person in need.
  
  There’s nothing wrong with accepting a hand from someone. I think most people are genuine in their offers to help. If there is any question - it’s much better to politely decline.
• georgmicrodong

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  7 years ago

  Your initial instincts were good, but a *real* gentleman would have responded with something like, “Of course you *can* carry it yourself, but that’s not the point. I am unencumbered, and you are not. My apologies if I offended. Would you care for some help?”
• Huntsman

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  7 years ago

  Also chivalry or good manners are not something we do in order for it to be appreciated. We do it because it’s the right thing to do.
• Huntsman

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  7 years ago

  My last comment was to the OP. I agree with gmd.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  You should have responded - "you seem to be having a bad day, would you care for some dick"
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  ^ a true gentleman. ❤️
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  I do agree that continuing to take the high road is almost always the best option. As I'm sure y'all expect, my first response was sarcastic.
  
  I really like the response GMD provided, but since I have a hard time not being a smart ass I probably would have used an exaggerated British accent and thrown in a "my fine madame"
• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  LOL @ papi
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  If the MILF was a stripper - I’m guessing she was taken entirely off-guard. Her boyfriend - would never think of putting down his bong or controller - to help her.
  
  Possibly the best thing to say would have been “Nice ass!” and when she glared at you a “Dilly Dilly!” would have worked perfectly.
• doctorevil

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  7 years ago

  “I’m just used to doing it as a part of big groups from the military.” Are you saying you are used to military groups doing this, or you used to do this when you were in the miltary?
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I was in the military. If you were in a big informal group, and were the one on the door side, you’d take your turn to hold it for a few moments, no matter who was waking in.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I tend to avoid being the one to actually open the door, bc commercial doors are hard for me to open, but I still take a person’s place so they can go w their group.
• doctorevil

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  7 years ago

  ^^“I was in the military.” You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  I’ve mentioned it, but I guess I don’t meet a lot of dancers who are vets. Tho I know a few girls who did it for a period after being in the service. I’ve even met a couple guys.
• doctorevil

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  7 years ago

  I’ve met only one dancer that said she was a vet that I actually believed. Have met a couple more that said they were then said some crazy shit that convinced me they were lying. Surprisingly I have met quite a few who told me they wanted to join. Most probably wouldn’t have been eligible because of the miltary’s tattoo restrictions.
• Bj99

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  7 years ago

  It’s funny bc I often think that some of the girls I work with would really do well in the military. I think them having kids is usually as issue. They have to leave them often, and have someone to leave them with.
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  Why would an animal doctor dance in a club? To pay tuition? I’ve been called an animal - but i thought it was a figure of speech!
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  Is it still OK to offer to help a stripper get out of her clothes? :)
• Warrenboy75

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  7 years ago

  Bj99--I know a couple dancers who are vets.
• Papi_Chulo

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  7 years ago

  AFAIK Chivalry is not dead - I believe she's currently dancing at Follies
• Clubber

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  7 years ago

  Whatever she is holding, knock it out of her hands and drop kick it 30 yards away!
  
  Seriously, I think it depends on the person asking. Check out youtube and type gold digger. You can get a great insight to the "world of women thoughts".
• georgmicrodong

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  7 years ago

  I know a local escort who is a vet. A *combat* vet. She has the scars and Purple Heart to prove it.
• shadowcat

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  7 years ago

  One follies dancer told me that she was going to join the army and train dogs as soon as she quit long enough to pass the drug test. It.s been a year and she's still stripping. :)
• Clubber

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  7 years ago

  How did this topic get from "chivalry" to a combat vet and army dog training?
  
  We ALL KNOW that topics never "change their feathers". :)
• Huntsman

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  7 years ago

  Clubber is right. We have a knack for group ADHD. But that’s half the fun here!
• JohnBuford

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  7 years ago

  " The time is always right to do what is right."... Martin Luther King Jr.
• Cashman1234

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  7 years ago

  Someone mentioned they knew a dancer who was a Vet. I guess they were referring to the dancer being a military veteran (and not an animal doctor). My bad!
• stripfighter

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  7 years ago

  Too much unknowns to say exactly what or why she responded. Maybe it was you were too uncomfortably close and staring her up and down with a big creepy grin as you said it :P
  
  But seriously, some women aren't comfortable around strangers in such a public setting such as a subway. She could've been scared, or she could've been having a rough day. Who knows. Your response comes across as taking it personally. I would've just said "Ok was just helping out. Didn't mean to offend you. Have a good day"
• Lone_Wolf

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  7 years ago

  Had a similar experience at Costco when I offered to help a young lady struggling with a very large bag of dog food. She got a little snarky and I just played it off. Funny thing is, two weeks earlier a dude offered to help me load the same size bag of dog food into my cart I said sure thanks. Doesn't take much to mess up a back.
• Clubber

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  7 years ago

  Wolf,
  
  And so far, no way to fix one. Surgery was an option, but not near my spinal cord!
• lopaw

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  7 years ago

  I don't think chivalry is dead and I usually gladly accept help or even having a door opened for me. Doesn't matter if it's a lady or a man doing it. It's just being polite.