5 Golden Tickets . . . .

avatar for will_wonka
will_wonka
. . . win a chance to sleep with one of the 5 whores left in America who has never had Rick Dugan's penis enter any of her wholes.

These tickets are in short supply. There are 5, count 'em 5 tickets scattered across the grocery store shelves of America and they can only be found inside specially marked cans of SPAM. Pull one of the 5 golden tickets and you and the guest of your choice will win an all expense paid trip to the commune where SJG lived before being committed to the loony bin. All of your meals will be covered. The outhouse will be cleaned prior to your arrival. And on the final day of the trip you and your guest will get to take turns with one of the 5 whores left in America who has never had Rick Dugan's penis enter any of her wholes. These girls are still so tight, it's a miracle!

So please check your specially marked cans of SPAM. That's SPAM - it's the dinner food of balding middle aged men who spend all of their money on whores.

consolation prize - go out for a beer with flagooner, taxi driver will be the designated driver.

11 comments

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avatar for shailynn
shailynn
7 years ago
You should have pulled San Jose Guy instead. There isn't a whore that HAS touched his penis yet.

Side note, SJG's mom made some Spam Sushi tonight for dinner.
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
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
7 years ago
that's a long link.
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 years ago
Here I thought you were just speaking SJG native machine language for the second there. You know like the matrix. Or a dog whistle.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
7 years ago
I'm stuck in the Matrix doing the same job everyday. SJG is stuck in his mom's basement, and Juice is stuck in an armchair at Applebees.
avatar for Randle_McMurphy
Randle_McMurphy
7 years ago
"any of her wholes"

That's an mdb2203 style spelling error. This guy isn't even making it a challenge.
avatar for full_metal_RIL
full_metal_RIL
7 years ago
I don't like this contest at all because my CF would never touch a creep like Rick Dugan with a ten foot pool so that means she's one of the five girls being auctioned off and she is really tight which proves it even more and I know this because she's still a virgin she's saving herself for marriage and if I keep buying dances she's going to marry me except now I need to buy all the SPAM I can get my hands on or someone else might win her but if I do that I won't be able to buy dances anymore so the only natural solution is to file a report with the Consumer Product Safety Commission that there is broken glass inside all the can's of SPAM so that they'll be taken off the shelf and no more contest I'm so much smarter than the rest of you that's why I have my CF and you don't and she loves me the end.
avatar for tony_montana
tony_montana
7 years ago
ril you're spending your money all wrong, just float me a couple c-notes and i'll make sure you and that little hussy of yours are up all night together having fun, alright man.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
Since it involves going to a commune where SJG lived - I’ll stay at home and jerk off before I go out for a beer with flag and taxi...

Tight whore pussy does little for me.
avatar for chessmaster
chessmaster
7 years ago
Fuck you jackie.
avatar for Randle_McMurphy
Randle_McMurphy
7 years ago
"Tight whore pussy does little for me."

Cashman1234 - there's a special ward at the facility for guys who don't like tight whore pussy. It's been vacant for the past 25 years. So we've got plenty of space for you to come on over and start joining everyone at group.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
I’ve been to group before. I don’t like those special wards. They usually involve Nurse Ratchet and black rubber gloves - and a very uncomfortable cavity search...
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