Some SA Questions for those Experienced
RyanWilliams64
Ohio
I have been considering the Seeking Arrangements site recently. I am not a millionaire or anything, but from what I have read of "allowance" amounts in the few hundred dollar a month range I think it is something I could definitely afford. I spend more than that clubbing some months anyway. But I have some questions, which I could not find the answers to on the SA site (at least not without creating an account). I would like to get some advice from guys that have previous experience in this area before I create my account.
1. Presumably, I have to give SA my real name (in order to pay, get an eventual background check, etc.). But can I use a "club name" in my profile so that if some female that I know signs up on the site, it won't be obvious who I am? And, does your SB have to know your real name? It seems like having my picture on the site would be another potential security issue. Is the picture shown to any SB browsing the site, or only shown if I authorize it?
2. For the background and income checks, presumably my employer, banks, etc. will be contacted. Would they be able to tell that is is SA doing the check?
3. Do I have to literally be a millionaire? To have a certain income? My income is respectable, but it is not 6 figures. I make quite a bit on my investments each year. Do I have to disclose my exact income and net worth? Or just the amount I am willing to provide in benefits?
4. How do your normally pay your SB?
5. At whatever time I do decide to create the account, do I need to be ready to respond to offers right away or risk losing them? Or could I create an account, think about what I see for a few weeks or months, then decide whether to move forward?
5. Any advice (do's and don'ts) before I create my account?
Thanks,
Ryan
1. Presumably, I have to give SA my real name (in order to pay, get an eventual background check, etc.). But can I use a "club name" in my profile so that if some female that I know signs up on the site, it won't be obvious who I am? And, does your SB have to know your real name? It seems like having my picture on the site would be another potential security issue. Is the picture shown to any SB browsing the site, or only shown if I authorize it?
2. For the background and income checks, presumably my employer, banks, etc. will be contacted. Would they be able to tell that is is SA doing the check?
3. Do I have to literally be a millionaire? To have a certain income? My income is respectable, but it is not 6 figures. I make quite a bit on my investments each year. Do I have to disclose my exact income and net worth? Or just the amount I am willing to provide in benefits?
4. How do your normally pay your SB?
5. At whatever time I do decide to create the account, do I need to be ready to respond to offers right away or risk losing them? Or could I create an account, think about what I see for a few weeks or months, then decide whether to move forward?
5. Any advice (do's and don'ts) before I create my account?
Thanks,
Ryan
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20 comments
As I see it, f2f first meetings is always best. And as I see it, you NEVER should disclose such personal financial info.
SJG
To our OP, if you select your girl in a strip club, you will know what she looks like. But more important, you will see if she is someone you really like, before even talking about any such 'arrangement'.
SJG
SJG
https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=5049…
https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=4321…
SJG
10":
https://www.pleaserusa.com/regular.asp?d…
https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=5405…
SJG
Founder, please let our threads stay open!
2. Don't do background or income checks.
3. Since you're not doing a background check, you can write whatever you want for net worth and allowance offers. I checked "negotiable" for allowance, and low-balled my net worth so expectations wouldn't be too high
4. cash
5. In general, you need to strike while the iron is hot -- once you get a woman's attention, move to meet quickly, or risk her going away. That said, as far as "responding to offers", most unsolicited offers you get will be from escorts; and if you're on SA to meet escorts, why not just save yourself the $75/month and use backpage or whatever? A bunch of guys on tuscl seem to be bottom-feeding SA as if it were backpage, but that just doesn't make sense to me. While there are always exceptions, as a general rule, high quality sugarbabies will let you come to them, which you don't have to do until you're ready.
5. As per 25, do not ever agree to pay for an initial meeting, without intimacy. And, the vast majority of girls will agree to per-meeting payment at first, even if they want to go monthly eventually. Also, you'll notice that many of the girls on SA seem to be irritated at you; that's because there's so many flakes, posers, and time wasters on there. Don't take it personally. But, I do avoid any profiles where the SB vents and complains; if she doesn't have the emotional IQ to control herself on her profile, the place where she's supposed to make herself attractive, in real life she'll be a nightmare
Have not done SA but one would assume a fair # of con-artists can be on there - only pay for what you want - I assume there are con-artists on there that want $200 or $300 just to meet for dinner w/o ever having any further intentions; and they jump from mark to mark making $$$ like this.
2. Fuck background checks unless you want your identity out there in some database. See #1. Most girls are fine with that if you meet them and you both gets the right vibes.
3. No. Quote whatever you are comfortable with. If you screen out girls who want high rollers well good, most of those girls are GPS girls not worth your time.
4. Cash only. Most girls love it most. Venmo is ok but Pay Pal leaves an email source.
5. Take your time and screen. Most girls wont reach out to you first so you need to make contact. Make sure you have some flattering pics in your private profile to share.
6. Get at least a one month paid account. You cant read messages until you do. Use a generic gift card and do not use a personal credit card if you want some anonymity.
Dont be in a rush, never pay sight unseen or upfront with a new girl. Figure out what is looking for in the relationship, sometimes she doesnt know but almost always its just for fun and of course she needs $. So make it fun, dont be a douch and treat her like a p4p machine. She is likely curious and exploring her own desires and needs.
Ignore the trollbots here like SJG and save yourself a little time by not wasting your words.
2. I’ve never done the background or income check. I suppose it’s possible some girls have passed me over for that, but I’ve been satisfied with those who haven’t.
3. You do not have to be a millionaire. Part of your profile are questions about your income and what lifestyle you’re willing to provide. The income one accepts whatever you give it. Set the lifestyle to whatever you’re comfortable with.
4. Cash. I’ve yet to meet anyone who wouldn’t take it, but some have preferred that I not hand it to them directly, but leave it on the dresser or something. I’ve also met one who preferred gift cards, but I talked her out of it.
5. When you first sign up, you’ll get some number of free messages. I don’t remember if they’re censored to remove contact info or not. The first month will also be at a discount. Paid membership is monthly, and when it expires, you can no longer read or send messages. What I usually do is pay for a month, message everybody I find interesting, exchange contact information with those who are interested back, then let my account expire while I follow up.
5. Do not ever pay for a meet and greet beyond coffee or lunch. If they raise the issue and won’t back down (some will if you’re polite about it), move on.
Never meet at her place the first time, for anything, not a M&G, nor a date.
Be aware of what you want from the deal, no matter what it is, and bring it up at some point before the M&G. If she’s not onboard, move on. I put my desires right in my profile.
Whatever contact info she gives you, google it and search it on social media. If she’s an escort, it will probably show up, and a surprising number of girls use the same phone, email and/or pics as they do on FB, IG, Snapchat, etc.
Don’t let them pressure you into anything.
Block anyone from the Philippines or South America who favorites you. They’re scams. You’ll get a *lot* of favoriting from “girls” there. Even from Europe, though some of those are real, and just want a free ride to the US.
Pretty much ignore anyone who favorites you without viewing your profile. They’re either hookers or desperate.
Don’t use the app on your phone, just the website in private mode in your browser. Unless you don’t care about leaving traces on your phone itself.
If someone requests access to your private pics with no other message, either ignore them or, if she interests you, request right back and don’t do anything until she responds.
I am considering SA vs. just continuing intermittent clubbing for a few reasons. First, I don't really like the atmosphere of clubs. The loud music, black lights in the dance areas, etc. just does not seem conductive to casual intimacy to me. It's more like "hurry up and get it done - the clock is ticking!" Sure there is OTC, but the club environment to me seems to get things started on the wrong foot for my first impression of someone.
Also would like to spend time with someone I may have more in common with, despite the age differences. I've had a hard time relating to many of the strippers. If it is someone say in college, particularly if a major similar to mine years ago, I think there would be more in common. I'm curious as to how things have changed since years ago when I was in school. The mentor in me kicks in. It's not 100% about sex. Playfulness and geek-ness are important to me, and it seems I don't see as much of that as I'd like among those who work the clubs. Maybe I won't see it with SA either, but I think it is worth checking.
Not interested in dating in the classical way. I have tried it several times as an older (over 50) guy, and hated it each time. Number one, I'm not really attracted to ladies over 40 (either physically or personality-wise), and number two, I'm definitely not interested in committing to the role 99% of women in the dating scene are looking for. If say a college student or divorced MILF is having trouble financing education, I can certainly see helping them out during their education, financially and in other ways, in exchange for companionship and intimacy, during that period.
As has been mentioned here, I do not plan to commit to regular arrangements until after a few meetings to see if the chemistry is right. If I lose the cost of dinner and my time a few times on the way, that does not bother me though - anymore than going to an interview that does not work out for a job would. I don't care if I get "sex on the first date" or third or whatever, if the chemistry is right.
Ryan
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Well, @Smith, since you've gone on record paying an insane amount of money for some teenage "dream stripper" who caught an STD from her drug dealer, you probably wouldn't understand.
I had multiple hits in 48 hours ( 7 messages and if I recall about 11 views/likes) I don't use a picture and I pay month to month. At no time do I put anything out there that ties back to me and I tend to stay away from anyone within 30-45 minute drive of where I live.
I travel for work so I look for people in my area---in a perfect world I have one steady and I shop in a couple of other regions for by meetings.
I started using the site five plus years ago. Overall I've had very good experiences.
The girl I met last week on a first date knows my first name and my cell number --not the main one but a second one I use for mongering. We hooked up on the first date which I admit is rare and it was great, good enough for me to have her meet up with me two nights later.
As a rule I seem to have the best luck with women who do not pigeon hole themselves and can be described as looking for "negotiate".......
Grad Student--money going for tuition. ( which I also tend to like--that and nurses)
I never tell them my net worth, what I do for a living, or what I make a year--all the figures on the site are low.
Typically my goal is to meet up the first time and not go back and forth on the site for days on end. I never expect anything on the first meeting but as it did in this case I've found the college girls tend to take the lead when they like you enough or need the money enough and you end up in bed.
Actually it doesn't take much time--at least for me --- but maybe I have been lucky.
Subraman gets the credit for stating it here.
"Also, you'll notice that many of the girls on SA seem to be irritated at you; that's because there's so many flakes, posers, and time wasters on there. Don't take it personally. But, I do avoid any profiles where the SB vents and complains; if she doesn't have the emotional IQ to control herself on her profile, the place where she's supposed to make herself attractive, in real life she'll be a nightmare"