You know you've entered a crappy strip club when ...

.. when the manager is in a fight with a customer

.... when club manager is tipping a dancer on stage

When there are NO dancers.

When you walk in and see Shadowcat and Rogertex.

When you can see that the girls make very little money, and so they must all be there just to line up OTC's.

"Oh well we're full service here too."

I have greatly enjoyed such shit holes when they have been running.

I have seen a manager tip a dance on stage, as that helps get others to do so. Need someone to start it.

SJG

The advertised clubs can't let it get like that, and so the girls have to be better looking so that they can get enough $ just for the allowed ITC actions.

SJG

This also means that the advertised clubs have to limit how many girls they schedule per shift. They can't just assign as many as possible and let the girls compete openly. As some will not follow any rules except their own, and that would get the club closed down. So it is only in the underground clubs that you find such outlaw girls.

This county and the adjacent counties have remained very strict. Not like some of the dives people post about on this forum.

So the really fun places are underground

SJG

Acid Jazz, Lounge, R&B and Chillout mix
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoDhFxsc…

You don't see any thick and curvy black-girls

:)

You walk in, grab a seat, all the dancers are sitting by themselves and none bother to even look your way nor approach you

There are more people playing pool than getting lappers or tipping the strippers.

The bouncer is also the dj, doorman, and bartender.

The main draw is an amputee stripper.

Instead of paying a cover, they actually pay *you* to come in the club

:)

The drinks are better than the strippers.

...a girl has her period on your lap.

When Jackie is on the stage

All the dancers tell you they post on StripperWeb

When the the bar stools are recycled crappers.

When the obese door girl is the hottest girl in the club.

The dancer on stage takes a break to put in her teeth.

The front door has a sign prohibiting gang colors.

The shot girl is a male midget with a beard.

The last two are real examples.

The first dancer to approach you is missing her two front teeth. This was at the same place prohibiting gang colors.

When everyone in the place is heavier than you. And you weigh 250 lbs.

When the hottest dancer in the place is a completely drugged out young lady almost completely covered in prison quality tats. Downhill from there. Resembled that bar scene in the first Star Wars movie. True story.

When there is no girl on stage and when asked, you hear someone usually comes out every 30 to 45 minutes.

when you see the dancers and finish your beer quick and walk right back out never to visit again for over 15 years even though you drive by the club hundreds of times.

When they do a special of a free dance and there are no takers

When you constantly get asked by the dancers for $$$ for the jukebox

When Papi_Chulo has not reviewed it. :)

When you walk in and see customers flee the stage seats and out comes a dancer twice as big as anyone in your family including you.

When you can't stand to look at the dancer on stage because she is so ugly, you'd rather look at the wall or anything else. When you think you've found the dancer whom you give a 1 out of 10. When looking at the dancer on stage reminds you of looking at road kill and see blood and guts oozing everywhere except that seemed less repulsive.

Girls are drunker than me

Bathroom troll is under 90

PLs trying to stretch $10 at the rail

....they have more TV's and sports shows on than strippers

When the official parking lot valet to whom you handed the keys to your new Corvette turns out not to have been either official or a valet at all...

When you walk in and the big fat house mom is doing a stage set and also working the bar every two or three songs

When the bouncers keep going in and out of the VIP area.

^^^^ I have never liked valet parking, anywhere. Here in Santa Clara County, and in San Mateo County, and in San Francisco, I have never seen a strip club with valet parking. Where I have encountered valet parking, I have avoided it, even if this meant a great deal of walking. But usually I prefer to park on the street, and best is in a nearby residential neighborhood, as opposed to on private property.

So far I have always been able to do this. But I gather that this varies across the country.

SJG

When soccer off season is more interesting than the girls.

^^^^^^^^ True episode, when the guys would rather watch dirt track motorcycle racing on television than pay any attention to the girls.

SJG

When the few faces of the few girls actually outside the dressing room are bathed in the eerie light from their cell phones screens, while they text their their X-Boxing/house arrested/pothead boyfriend that the customers aren't asking for dances.

Isn't it typical to find bartenders that are hotter than the dancers?