The Sinclair Diaries: Part 6

The next day I decided I had better check out some of the tourist draws. Going on a trip just for strip clubs can drain you, so I decided I needed to see some of the local attractions. I went up the Gateway Arch, toured Busch Stadium, played some slots and card games at the Ameristar Casino, and then climbed some mounds at Cahokia Mounds State Park. The largest one was one hundred feet tall and gave a good view of the American Bottom. By this point, I was done with the touristy stuff and wanted to see some fleshy mounds and spank some bottoms.

I decided to drive all over the ESL area and scout out the locations of the various clubs while there was still daylight. I first went to Brooklyn. This is a little town that you have to drive a couple miles through a wasteland to get to. The sign coming into town says it is first town in the United States incorporated by blacks. There are two VCG Holdings clubs and two black clubs here. I think there is a massage parlor as well. It was pretty scary here. Buildings lay demolished and boarded up, and there was trash everywhere. It was so surreal I should have taken a picture but was too scared to leave my vehicle. The two VCG clubs looked pretty trashy from the outside. There was a pack of stray dogs hanging out in the Roxy's parking lot. I wondered: why VCG just doesn't demolish these clubs? I don't see why anybody with money to blow would drive all the way out to this shithole, risking getting murdered or robbed, to spend money in a rundown building. I did not feel like taking one for the team and peeled out of there. I drove out next to Sauget. Sauget is directly across the river from downtown St. Louis and seemed to be mostly industrial and safer than my previous stop. The two clubs here are close, with an infamous 24-hour concert hall bar situated adjacent to the titty bars. The Penthouse Club appeared to be built inside one end of a warehouse. Next, I went over to Centreville, home to PT's and the Centerfold Cabaret. These two clubs actually looked fairly inviting compared to others in the area. The vicinity seemed alright, probably due to the fact that a shrine is on the other side of Bluff Road. Finally, I headed back to Washington Park. The infamous clubs where you can “get anything you want” are off the interstate a bit in the ‘hood. Generally, they look like pole barns surrounded by ten-foot chain-link fence. You want to stick to the main roads in Washington Park, obey the speed limit, and keep your doors locked. You will see lots of boarded up houses and lots of gangstas loitering on street corners and porches sipping St. Ides. I was glad I brought my .357 on this jaunt. Like I said earlier, I was not in the mood to TOFTT in the asshole of America. I have TOFTT too many times. I just headed back to the Hollywood.

By the time I got back to the Hollywood, the night shift was in full swing. I was enticed by Spinner 3, a surgically-enhanced 8.5. I decided to sample some dances from Spinner 3 and was blown away by the mileage I got—way more than from the previous night's prospects. I had my belt and shirt pulled off and was at the mercy of Spinner 3 who was trying in earnest to make me cum all over myself. I think Spinner 3 gave me the best private dances in my clubbing career as I sit here and recollect my years in the game. Spinner 1 was back at the club and this time trying to play some stripper shit on me about not being able to pay rent and a broken down car. I just came out and flat out told the bitch, “Fuck off, your deadbeat boyfriend can pay your rent.” I also chatted with Spinner 2, a sexpot that could be in Penthouse if she wanted, for a bit but declined private time; her dances were fun but not as high mileage as Spinner 3's. Mileage will vary by the dancer and extras are not likely due to the setup of the VIP rooms and private dance rooms. What cracked me up was that the management of this club reads TUSCL. Above each pisser in the washroom was a poster with the TUSCL Top 10 list showing the Hollywood at #7. Then above the sinks were posters of the TUSCL Top 10's for Best Dancer, Best Dollar, and Best Physical. Obviously, the management here was excited to be rated well. I thought that was pretty cool because that means the management actually gives a shit about how their club is viewed by the strip-clubbing public. Perhaps, they will act on our constructive criticisms and take our suggestions into account. There are way too many strip clubs out there that could care less about the customer.