I was having sex with a woman when her husband got home early

Ha ha!

Was he armed ? If not you should have sat on the back patio and shared some Pappy Van Winkle with him , after all he shared his wife with you. *-)

Here's something you should tell your girlfriends over the holidays:

"If you drink eggnog, then there's no excuse not to swallow!!!"

LMFAO

It's not a sport unless there is a chance of death. Well played, sir.

Brown chicken brown cow

*rimshot*

That's a shitty mess

This song goes out to Shailynn... Fitting, under the circumstances.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gg54zkr6IW…

Its tragic when you have to explain a joke to the audience. Its called a double entendre.

As in Hannibal Lechter: " I do wish we could chat longer.... but, I'm having an old friend for dinner. Bye."

Ace stuff!

That one literally made me laugh out loud. The guy in the next stall asked what was so funny.

No, I'm not at McD's.

So when is the next time you bang her, shailynn ?

The techie way to handle this is to track the husband using "Find iPhone" on iClould.com. Then you're never caught by surprise. Also Android apps to accomplish the same thing.

randommember. scary genius.