tuscl

Long Time OTC arrangements

GACA
Un-retired: Met my ATF. Married her. Divorcing her.
Sunday, November 6, 2016 9:41 PM
So looks like I'm gonna be in this arrangements I've got for a while. What are some of the pitfalls of long time otc arrangements? Anybody actually catch any feelings? How do you manage them

39 comments

  • ThereAndBackAgain
    •
    8 years ago
    Prostitutes with hearts of gold are a myth. One way feelings are PL's battle scars. Wear them with pride coriolanus. On the other hand if you are trying to get mutual f w/ b or old style mistressing / 2nd wife ... Stop the money and test the waters. postpone payments better still have pay for lunch by accidentally forgetting your wallet.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm not an OTCer but it seems that often times getting involved w/ dancers OTC also means getting involved w/ their problems -the better OTC custy you are the more they seem to rely on you especially your $$$ and they will look at you for every financial emergency or just when they want $$$ - in the end 99% of the time you're just an ATM and their "ATM card" is them *acting* sweet to keep withdrawing that cash .
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    Not saying that *every* OTC hook-up is drama filled, but seems many are - perhaps it can be said that in many cases if they didn't have issues they wouldn't be doing OTC in the first place
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    I think the less one expects from dancers the less one gets frustrated or disappointed. - it's pay for play, IMO no need to make it more than that
  • jestrite50
    •
    8 years ago
    I am not afraid to get involved with their problems. I have 3 or for long term OTC arrangements all like GFE or "Side Chicks" all were dancers some now have quit dancing but still take care of me. I have been able to help each one in some way economically so they can get out of their previous lifestyles and be successful in life for their families, their kids etc. They appreciate what I've done to help them even though it's a small contribution in the grand scheme of life and living. Some have been with me 5 years now and are ready to go whenever I call. I really enjoy my OTC GFE relationships and let them know how much I appreciate them as well.
  • jackslash
    •
    8 years ago
    Pitfalls? They treat you like a boyfriend and ask you to do things for them all the time--pick her up something at the store, help her move to a new apartment, give her birthday and Christmas presents. You're a boyfriend who gets to pay for sex. (Not too different than being married).
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    8 years ago
    The biggest downside is that a regular otc dancer often gets lazy and greedy. So they may stop trying quite so hard to be your sexual freak, and like err body else said they may expect you to start paying for their lives. So as time goes by, the sex gets worse and the cost gets higher. Like Jack said kind of like marriage. And yes I fell in love with mine.
  • RandomMember
    •
    8 years ago
    "And yes I fell in love with mine." ---------------------------------------- Falling in love with a sex worker 3.5 decades younger than yourself really is odd. In fact, it's beyond odd and falls off the charts in terms of pathetic-ness. I enjoy these long-term paid flings as fun entertainment. Safer than having a harem of sex workers.
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    If it works, it is great. i started with a young lady when she was 18. She is approaching 40. The pitfalls? There were none or we'd have parted. She isn't as hot as she was but she is still a good looking woman. She knows what I like and there is no drama. There is some affection or it never would have worked out so well. We are not in love. I think she only once asked for an advance payment and that was a true emergency. It was a small amount and we'd been meeting for years so I said yes. I expected to never see the money again. Two weeks later she had it and handed it to me. It was important to her that she repay me in cash even if she got it back just a few minutes later. She does ask me to pick up a bottle of wine from time to time.
  • jackslash
    •
    8 years ago
    K, this is what I would call a dream stripper.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    Depending on where the cutoff is for "long term" (6 months? a year?), I long-term many of my ATFs, and have ultra-long-termed a few... Pitfalls: 1. You get bored of the sex with her 2. She increasingly takes you for granted, and/or develops resentment over her dependence on you 3. You develop feelings for her 4. You can get sucked into her life, and drama, a bit (or a lot) For me, the benefits way overshadow the pitfalls. Probably predictably, I've fucked up and fallen for every one of the pitfalls at one time or another. Avoiding them is something you get better at (or at least, I've gotten better at). #1 should be easily mitigated, just push to keep things exciting
  • Imamutt
    •
    8 years ago
    If over the course of a year you spend 1000 hours with another person in an intimate setting and don't develop some emotional attachment, IMO - black heart.
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    jackslash That's why it has worked. i wish she would teach the younger ladies how to make it work so well.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    ^^^ I agree... but there's a huge difference between falling in love, and liking/appreciating her more and more while still understanding that this relationship is stripper/customer or SB/SD and not romantic love. I adored every stripper I had a longer-term OTC relationship with, but falling in love shouldn't be part of the equation.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    ^^ that response was meant for Imamutt
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    Imamutt 1000 hours in a year is 4 hours a day 5 days a week. I don't know anyone that proposes that. Even at four hours once a week feelings develop. it does not have to be love. I have a genuine affection for the ladies I see. I believe it is mutual. I like them and they like me. Some even consider me a friend. i am sure it is the same for other successful long term OTC. There is mutual affection of some level in those that work. if there isn't, it would not last.
  • mrrock
    •
    8 years ago
    Papi hit it on the head.
  • skibum609
    •
    8 years ago
    I WOULD NEVER ALLOW THIS HOBBY TO INFECT Y REAL LIFE.
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    I'm in what I believe will be a long term OTC although much time hasn't passed OTC, but coupled with knowing her it's been close to three years. So, the pitfall I see is being sucked into their drama and becoming an option for a need. I think the being sucked into their drama can be mitigated to knowing their drama. Of course when you explicitly help to resolve some of her drama is when you become sucked up into her drama in my opinion.
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    Ch3ll "Of course when you explicitly help to resolve some of her drama is when you become sucked up into her drama in my opinion." Indeed. Involvement should be limited to listening. Don't offer advice as you own the fall out, at least in her mind. Help should be limited to offers of an opportunity to earn more. PLs also need to keep our drama out of it.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    -->"Indeed. Involvement should be limited to listening. " That is definitely the key ... agree that if you offer advice you absolutely own the fallout in her mind; and even more importantly, suppress your inner white knight. Besides, just listening sympathetically is far more helpful to most women than you'd realize, and as long as she's not purposely manipulating you, may be all she wants anyway [view link]
  • superrats
    •
    8 years ago
    The two main pitfalls are being unable to walk away from a nightmare and wanting more than she's capable of giving you. Long term OTC can be amazing, assuming you're avoiding an absolute trainwreck of a human being. I've never encountered any of the stripper shit I've seen on these threads. None. In many ways long term OTC can resemble casual dating, but the money smooths over a lot of the rough edges, so long as you remain in control of your boundaries with her. Fuck someone often enough and feelings are likely to occur and you might find yourself wanting more from your beautiful 20-something. I've had two long term OTC relationships that continued after I stopped helping them out financially. I reciprocated their feelings, which allowed for it to go beyond a convenient arrangement. Eventually, these 20-somethings will want to get on with their lives and move on from you. You're part of her learning process. Don't get upset. They don't owe you anything. Both of you traded for what you wanted at the time. Just be glad you helped her out and find a new girl to have fun with. Don't want more than she's capable of giving you and if she's not giving you what you want, find someone else who will. Acting like a white knight is a sign of you wanting more than she's capable of giving and/or a distorted image of what you think you deserve. That will wind up bad for you. Help her if you want, but don't try to fix her. You can't.
  • RandomMember
    •
    8 years ago
    @Skibum wrote: " I WOULD NEVER ALLOW THIS HOBBY TO INFECT MY REAL LIFE." --------------------------------------- Agree with you completely @Ski, but I sure wish you would stop SHOUTING! The problem is that many TUSCLers have trouble telling the difference b/w prostitution from "REAL" relationships.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    8 years ago
    I got lucky. My first long term relationship with a stripper (going on five plus years now) turned out pretty well. It's gone a fair bit beyond a simple pay for play thing, though. I suggest running away.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
    GACA, you ask about catching feelings. Well, you fuck the girl the second time, she is going to look at it is as something like a marriage. And probably she will find ways to press you into showing that you go along with it. I don't think you can fight it though. I think it is just lying to yourself to think that it won't be that way or that you can control it. These guys call these girls ATF's, when they're text them all day and fucking them away from the club. The right way to look at it is the European Wife-Mistess System. Well off guys in Europe, Latin American, and also similarly in Asia, get to have these side chicks. They give them maintenance money, money which shows that they care about their well being. But it isn't strictly paying for sex. And then the girl will still try to make you jump to her tune and use emotional upsets and created crises to make you keep extending yourself further and further. So catching feelings? No, you will be immersed in feelings and drama. But you just have to learn to live with it and select carefully. I for one would not want to be involved with one who cannot manage her own affairs or gets involved with problematic guys, or lets guys inspect her cell phone or her email. It will blow back at you. Likewise women have car problems and lock themselves out of their apartments, and do lots of things which to a guy look really stupid. Some of these are just the way women tend to be. But some of them are manufactured so that they can make their guy come running. On the otherhand, there are single women who work ordinary jobs and manage their affairs very carefully and have a minimum of problems. With one who is at least a quasi sex worker, the first thing she will do when there is a problem is start fucking lots of guys. It reassures her of her desirability and makes her feel more alive. Girls without that kind of background would be much less likely to do this. So if you get involved with a sex worker or quasi sex worker, you have to make sure that you can accept this. You can't control it, and you will live longer if you don't try to control things which you cannot. You just have to turn your back and let her do it. I think Jestrite has the best approach, 'GFE's' set up in town after town. And since he does not live there, it keeps it within limits. They can't expect him to come running when they call. They pretty much have to accept the arrangement, or just leave it. For myself, I do plan to be living on the road for some years spreading a business. And I will have a string of GFE's, set up, and I will make contributions to their bank accounts. But I will also be helping them to get second careers set up, and to continue their educations. And my long term plan is an organization I am building of both women and men, and these women will be inducted into it. And we will fund our own enterprises and purse a political and economic agenda. So what the women will get from this will be strong economic and social security. What they will get will be better than marriage. And I would never expect them to believe this just from hearing it. But they will be able to see how it works. You can't just run from feelings. They will be there. Women know how to bring them out. They communicate indirectly, by setting it up so that a guy does what they want, but he thinks it is totally by his own initiative. You can't fight this. But you can, I believe. keep some limits on it so that it is not actually harmful. Most important is that you have your own goals, especially educational and career goals. Otherwise women really can wrap you around their fingers, then chew you to pieces, and then spit you out on the ground. And they do it to guys every single day. Good Luck, SJG
  • shailynn
    •
    8 years ago
    "If over the course of a year you spend 1000 hours with another person in an intimate setting and don't develop some emotional attachment, IMO - black heart." not black heart - it's called staying "ice cold"
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    Funny how things work out sometimes. So I posted today in this thread about what I believed to be my long term, continued OTC. Well, I was supposed to meet with the stripper at what we agreed upon and keep her from going to work. So I texted early to say around what time I'd be up. I hadn't heard back which was cool as I suspected she was sleeping anyway and I wasn't close to being on time myself. So she hits me up and agree it's still going down. Oddly, she kept asking if I was coming after I texted I'd be coming. So a little before I get there, she says she started her period and could she borrow some money for the room. I didn't text back yeah I'd do it, but texted okay we'll talk when I get there. So shortly after she's asking again am I coming through. By this time I'm 5 minutes away and say so. So she says meet her at the front office (staying at a hotel). I'm reply okay, be there 5 minutes. I get there and she's not out, so I wait a few and text come out. Wait a couple more and call with no answer. So wait just a couple more and get a text give me a bit. So I drive to the restaurant next door and text come over here. Still nothing from her via text saying at least okay. I wait a few, and then text you got 4 minutes. Still nothing. But right at the four minutes he texts "Guess not" with some crying emojis. So I call and no answer. I wait a couple more minutes and leave. So, I'm pissed. Probably gonna cut her off, move on. Guess just goes to show the shit some may pull. Hell, I'd run half naked to get $50 if I really needed it for a room for a few nights. Oh, and as I type this sitting in the SC (not hers), still no texts/calls from her apologizing or anything. On to the next one.
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    Reread my post and before I get clowned, yes I mistakenly typed ...he texts "Guess not"
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    She either has another custy in the room or her man, probably the latter - plus didn't she tell you she was gonna be staying w/ her mom
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    No she didn't tell me she'd be staying with her mom. I assumed that, given she had kids and had got evicted. You know Papi, you're usually spot on. I talked to my close friend afterwards and he came to that conclusion too or at least that she had something else going on. I was thinking she was trying to set me up or something. Paranoid.
  • larryfisherman
    •
    8 years ago
    I got little patience for that shit Ch3ll, me personally I would be done with her. I could never do a long term OTC arrangement, I like variety, I get bored with one chick pretty easily. It's on to the next one very quickly for me.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    Ch3ll, One of my first long-term OTCs relationships was with a stripper who was a complete train wreck, and though she never pulled anything quite as bad as the above, that's the kind of stuff that happened all the time -- probably 50% of the time, she'd stop texting on the morning we were supposed to meet, which I eventually figured out meant that I should simply reschedule my day. On top of that, there was always drama going on around her. This was one of my very first long-term OTC relationships, and I made all kinds of mistakes, from getting too hooked on her, to putting up with too much nonsense for far too long. But I'll tell you, she's done you a huge favor: shown you what it will be like to deal with her, before you've gotten yourself too far in. So Ch3ll, in the 3 years you knew her, you didn't see any indication of this coming, or did you see some signs and just rationalize them away? No judgement, I've made exactly those same mistakes already...
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    Larry fisherman Long term otc does not mean no variety. You can have several long term otc or a mix of long term otc, short term.and even on off otc
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    I'd say I rationalized some of her behaviors. The texting was always hit or miss, but if it came to her being at work and me coming to the SC, she'd leave with me. Also, after a few visits in her place (prior hotel) and staying overnight/morning with giving her an amount I felt which was to just help her financially, I figured things were a little cooler than straight business OTC. In the close to three years, two were knowing her in the club, no FS or BJ just dances, and Facebook. As the PL I am, the stars aligned one night and the first OTC occurred. Since it's been like 6 months.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    Ya, somewhat similar story with me: I ignored the warning signs, the hit or miss texting, etc. If she actually managed to show up to the strip club when she said she would, she'd leave with me, and the rest of the night would be a-fucking-mazing ... coming off a divorce, I badly needed something to make me feel good, and that did it. I rationalized away the bad behaviors with her having a busy life, etc.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, then it is - her behavior is what it is - one can rationalize it as her being a victim of circumstance but more often than not their choices are the biggest issue - you may think you can help her, but you are probably just enabling her - I doubt things will change anytime soon w/ her and you are just spinning your wheels - how old is this chick Ch3ll?
  • Ch3ll
    •
    8 years ago
    @Papi she's 25. If it matters, I'd say her maturity level from 1 - 10, 10 being great, she's like 5.
  • larryfisherman
    •
    8 years ago
    @K- I was talking about long term OTC with one girl, I thought that was what GACA was referring to.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    It'll probably take her till 30 b/f she starts getting her shit together but that's just sorta a educated guess
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