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I guess MO. strip clubs suck.

shadowcat

Atlanta suburb

GREENE COUNTY, MO. - Deputies say a Fair Grove woman walked into her barn last month and found a man trying to have sex with her cow.

Darrell Helton, 68, of Nixa, was charged last week with unlawful sex with an animal after he was allegedly caught in the act.

According to a probable cause statement, a woman noticed an unknown car parked near her barn on the evening of June 10, so she went inside the barn to investigate.

As the woman entered, she saw a naked man — identified as Helton — standing behind one of her cows apparently having sex with the animal, according to the statement.

Helton allegedly told deputies with the Greene County Sheriff's Office that he went to the property in Fair Grove, caught a cow, tied it to the corral and tried to have sex with the animal.

The statement says Helton told authorities that was the second time he had engaged in sexual acts with a cow on that property.

Unlawful sex with an animal is a Class A Misdemeanor punishable by up to one year behind bars.

It does not appear Helton was jailed. Helton does not have an attorney listed for this case. The News-Leader was unable to reach Helton for comment using phone numbers listed for him in online records.