tuscl

I guess MO. strip clubs suck.

shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
Tuesday, July 26, 2016 1:48 PM
GREENE COUNTY, MO. - Deputies say a Fair Grove woman walked into her barn last month and found a man trying to have sex with her cow. Darrell Helton, 68, of Nixa, was charged last week with unlawful sex with an animal after he was allegedly caught in the act. According to a probable cause statement, a woman noticed an unknown car parked near her barn on the evening of June 10, so she went inside the barn to investigate. As the woman entered, she saw a naked man — identified as Helton — standing behind one of her cows apparently having sex with the animal, according to the statement. Helton allegedly told deputies with the Greene County Sheriff's Office that he went to the property in Fair Grove, caught a cow, tied it to the corral and tried to have sex with the animal. The statement says Helton told authorities that was the second time he had engaged in sexual acts with a cow on that property. Unlawful sex with an animal is a Class A Misdemeanor punishable by up to one year behind bars. It does not appear Helton was jailed. Helton does not have an attorney listed for this case. The News-Leader was unable to reach Helton for comment using phone numbers listed for him in online records.

12 comments

  • gammanu95
    •
    8 years ago
    Missouri. Confederate state. What was that about the south rising again?
  • MrDeuce
    •
    8 years ago
    Was he trying to milk the experience for all it was worth? Maybe his bovine partner just wasn't in the "moo-ed". Or maybe she wasn't horny enough?
  • shadowcat
    •
    8 years ago
    Dude was 68 yo. Was he using Viagra?
  • ATACdawg
    •
    8 years ago
    Udderly ridiculous.
  • likes2look
    •
    8 years ago
    He was practicing animal husbandry until they caught him at it.
  • metaldude
    •
    8 years ago
    Sounds like bull to me.
  • TheeOSU
    •
    8 years ago
    "Dude was 68 yo. Was he using Viagra?" Didn't need it, the cow was hot! :D
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
    Ha Ha Ha SJG
  • DandyDan
    •
    8 years ago
    As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to strip clubs, Missouri is the Don't Show Me State.
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
    One in St. Louis, Rhonda's, and people say it sucks. But it is right next to ESL. Seem to be more in Kansas City, and on both sides of the state line. But the MO ones there sound like they are probably okay? SJG
  • vincemichaels
    •
    8 years ago
    What kind of child would be produced ?
  • san_jose_guy
    •
    8 years ago
    Missouri practiced slavery, but it did not attempt to secede, and so it was never part of the Confederacy. But they had this former governor Sterling Price, who did fight for the Confederacy, and he tried to foment Missouri's secession. And in 1861 James H. Lane of Kansas, attempting to resist invasion by Sterling Price, and with Jayhawker Colonel James Montgomery sacked Osceola, and without approval from Union Command. [view link] [view link] [view link] Then to try and prevent President Lincoln from being re-elected in 1964, Price attempted to recapture Louisiana, Arkansas, and Missouri for the Confederacy. Finally Price ended up presiding over a community of Confederate Exiles, in Veracruz Mexico. But as Mexico had just thrown off the chains of the French puppet Maximilian, they did not want Price and his people there, so they deported them back to the US. SJG Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac ~ Live At Warehouse New Orleans 1970 ( quite good, more Blues than Pop ) [view link]
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