How to tell an ATF I'm taking a break from the hobby...

25 comments

• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  Tell her you're going on a secret mission to Syria to fight Isis
• larryfisherman

  •

  8 years ago

  Just don't go to the club. When she texts you saying she misses you, you tell her, "I'm out of money". She'll understand. The next time you go back things should be the same as before you left.
• ButterMan

  •

  8 years ago

  I've never gone through anything like that but I doubt she will start shit if you come back 6 months later. Not sure if you will be bale to get her back or not. 6 months in stripper world is a long time. I might text her a couple of times during your time off, but not much because she will try and get you to come in.
• shadowcat

  •

  8 years ago

  I don't see why you have to tell her anything but if you feel you must, tell her that your wife is getting suspicious and you need to lay low for awhile.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  It's not easy to tell somebody "no" or tell them you wanna be away from them, in so many words, particularly when they have treated us well. In the end it's part of the game, and it is a game and not real, IMO, no matter how it looks - i.e. dancers disappear on fave custies out of the blue all the time often w/ no explanation - in reality we don't owe each other anything; they don't owe us and we don't owe them except for treating each other right when together; but at the end of the day we are not the priority in each other's lives. Just tell her you need a break (just like many dancers often teake breaks from time to time) - it looks like you don't need a break from her specifically and you can let her know that - just tell her you have other things/responsibilities in your life that at times require your full attention. Or just do like Juice and tell her they repossessed your trailer and someone towed it away and you have to go look for it and get it back and it may take a while.
• Meursault

  •

  8 years ago

  Two scenarios. First is you are misreading your relationship and you are nothing but a wallet in slacks to this woman. Second is you are correctly reading that you have a bit of a friendship (even though it is still primarily a financial stripper/custie relationship). In either scenario, I think you can just tell her you are taking a break. In the first case she may initially try some stripper shit, but will gladly accept your money when you come back. In the second case, she will understand. I would prefer to assume the best about her. If she told you she was quitting, you would be cool about it wouldn't you? Why would you assume worse from her?
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  Tell her you need to take a break but willing to fuck her for free (you know, since you guys are tight that way :)) - and see how that works out ;)
• rh48hr

  •

  8 years ago

  I agree with shadow.
• Imamutt

  •

  8 years ago

  Ask her for a loan. Say you'll make it up to her later. Strippers try that one on me all the time.
• jayhawk123

  •

  8 years ago

  Papi always has good advice. I wish I listened to it more. Like he said we have CF/ATF quit on us sometimes without much explanation. I just had this happen to me. I had just made this girl my ATF after 3 months and getting together twice OTC for no money then I get a text she quit and haven't heard from her since
• JamesSD

  •

  8 years ago

  You don't owe her anything. If you think she's started relying on your cash for her income, you could let her know you're taking time off. Honestly I'd just wait for her to text me first.
• Papi_Chulo

  •

  8 years ago

  OP, is that your ATF in the avatar?
• Dominic77

  •

  8 years ago

  a2 --> " My first thought is she's a stripper, she'll be bitter for about 30 seconds about missing out on my consistent money and then she'll forget I ever existed, so who cares." --> end quote a2 You intuition is right, IMO. a2 --> "But what if instead she becomes clingy about it or gets pissed off?" --> end quote a2 Well that will be her problem then. That's no concern of yours. a2 --> "When I return to clubs, will I ever be able to get her back or go to her club at all without her starting shit?" --> end quote a2 IMO, yes. Really dancers are all about the money. It's a business relationship. You want the part time relationship with the girl without the full time hassles. She wants the sponsor ($$). When you do return, if she's still dancing where you can find her, you'll pick up where you left off, assuming you have money to spend. What you are worrying about are civilian concerns.
• skibum609

  •

  8 years ago

  Tell her you are taking a break from paid sex, but if she wants to "date" and see how things work out, you'd be happy to. You will never hear another word.
• flagooner

  •

  8 years ago

  Why tell her? Just do it. When you return she will either be happy your wallet is back or she won't care. Telling her beforehand won't change that.
• Clubber

  •

  8 years ago

  a21985, I split with my ATF many years ago. I still regret that decision!
• Rick_the_Bear

  •

  8 years ago

  Take her for a long drive drinking and tell her how you feel
• a21985

  •

  8 years ago

  Thanks for the advice and jokes! I asked because it's been a few weeks since I've seen her last and she is starting to ask. I'm thinking of going with the "wife is getting suspcious" route as she has already gotten the "my wife will always come first" speech from me and I'm hoping she'll understand. I'm probably overthinking her reaction and treating her too much like a civvie. Though, as she is one hell of a hustler, I'm not putting it past her to try a bunch of SS on me when I tell her, which is a turn off for me and will leave a bad taste in my mouth that could sit there for a while. Wish me luck... P. S. - Papi, yes that is her in my avatar.
• a21985

  •

  8 years ago

  Tittyfag - I admit, sometimes if I'm pissing early in the morning and I'm too tired to aim, I do pop a squat instead. I have no shame with that.
• georgmicrodong

  •

  8 years ago

  Do you and she fuck? Are you tired of the fucking, or just the club scene? If it's just the club scene that you're avoiding, just tell her that, and you'll be back. Maybe even offer to maintain her income by inviting her to a hotel for OTC.
• rickdugan

  •

  8 years ago

  You don't need to explain yourself to her. When I tire of a fav or just need a break, I just stop going and ignore the incoming texts. Most girls get the hint quickly enough. Now sure some girls will pursue the matter and be very persuasive, complete with wheedling designed to bring you back in - it is their job to bring you in to spend. But if you REALLY believed that she misses you, can't wait to see you, just wants to talk, [insert whatever else she texts], then you would be kidding yourself. And fear not. if you show back up in a few months and spend like before, she will "forgive you." LOL.
• Subraman

  •

  8 years ago

  a2: your worry about her feelings is completely natural and just means you're still a person and not a hardened PL (yet). No worries, but it is something you'll get over :) It's easy to realize intellectually that she won't really care and will readily take you back when you return, it takes experience to truly internalize that as fact. Until then, you just need to take our word for it: she won't get her feelings hurt, and will take you back when you return. For myself, I'm always going to be me -- respectful, and truly like my ATFs. I'll "hey, really busy for the next couple of months, won't be making it in, but see you in October" message them, they're always fine. I think I could what Rick does, just ignore their texts and come back when I come back, and I'd have the same result -- they'd "Forgive" me and we'd just get right back to it
• a21985

  •

  8 years ago

  Georg - We do, and I'm honestly fatigued of the whole club/hobby scene, but not necessarily her. It's my usuall deal every year where I club hard for a bit and take a break. We've talked about OTC before, but I honestly prefer to keep it in the club whenever possible and don't have much interest in doing that right now. Rick - I'm kinda ignoring her now and already feeling guilty...but she hasn't cranked up the guilt tripping yet. Subraman - as always, thank you for being my ATF coach/spirit animal.
• Clubber

  •

  8 years ago

  I didn't say before, but it would be best to "slow down" and not just end it. You might regret never being able to go back.
• mrrock

  •

  8 years ago

  I wouldn't lie and make things up like suspicious wife. Just stop going to the club and if she texts asking where you are be honest and tell her it's not her but that YOU need to take a break from clubbing for a while. That way you can pick right up when you head back next year!