How to tell an ATF I'm taking a break from the hobby...
a21985
Meursault's SC retirement topic came at a perfect time and got me thinking about my current quasi related predicament. I've always been come and go when it comes to this hobby, taking breaks of 6 months or even more whenever I get bored of it or felt I needed a break for one reason or another. I'm a married family man with a job that can get taxing and the same reasons why that draws me to clubs can also push me away from them sometimes.
Welp, I've hit one of those walls where I'm ready for a long break from SCs, thinking possibly the rest of the year. No problems right? Well, for the first time since I've been in this hobby, I have an ATF. We've hit it off great since the first visit, we text each other every week, she's GFE and does everything I want, and I make sure she's well reimbursed. The few thousand I've spent on her since earlier this year may pale in comparison to what others on here spend on a girl (like Larry and his rainin'), nor is it hitting my bankroll too hard, but it's much much more than I've ever done with anyone before. That time and money investment I've made in her has somehow convinced me that I may owe this girl more than just telling her I'm gonna step back for a bit. She's done nothing to make me want to go on a hiatus, in fact, she's done everything right, but her alone is not enough to change my mind at this point.
My first thought is she's a stripper, she'll be bitter for about 30 seconds about missing out on my consistent money and then'll forget I ever existed, so who cares. But what if instead she becomes clingy about it or gets pissed off? When I return to clubs, will I ever be able to get her back or go to her club at all without her starting shit?
I know this is getting extremely PL of me, but I've never had to deal with this before and don't know what to expect or say. Has anyone gone through anything similar or have any advice for me?
Welp, I've hit one of those walls where I'm ready for a long break from SCs, thinking possibly the rest of the year. No problems right? Well, for the first time since I've been in this hobby, I have an ATF. We've hit it off great since the first visit, we text each other every week, she's GFE and does everything I want, and I make sure she's well reimbursed. The few thousand I've spent on her since earlier this year may pale in comparison to what others on here spend on a girl (like Larry and his rainin'), nor is it hitting my bankroll too hard, but it's much much more than I've ever done with anyone before. That time and money investment I've made in her has somehow convinced me that I may owe this girl more than just telling her I'm gonna step back for a bit. She's done nothing to make me want to go on a hiatus, in fact, she's done everything right, but her alone is not enough to change my mind at this point.
My first thought is she's a stripper, she'll be bitter for about 30 seconds about missing out on my consistent money and then'll forget I ever existed, so who cares. But what if instead she becomes clingy about it or gets pissed off? When I return to clubs, will I ever be able to get her back or go to her club at all without her starting shit?
I know this is getting extremely PL of me, but I've never had to deal with this before and don't know what to expect or say. Has anyone gone through anything similar or have any advice for me?
25 comments
In the end it's part of the game, and it is a game and not real, IMO, no matter how it looks - i.e. dancers disappear on fave custies out of the blue all the time often w/ no explanation - in reality we don't owe each other anything; they don't owe us and we don't owe them except for treating each other right when together; but at the end of the day we are not the priority in each other's lives.
Just tell her you need a break (just like many dancers often teake breaks from time to time) - it looks like you don't need a break from her specifically and you can let her know that - just tell her you have other things/responsibilities in your life that at times require your full attention.
Or just do like Juice and tell her they repossessed your trailer and someone towed it away and you have to go look for it and get it back and it may take a while.
;)
If you think she's started relying on your cash for her income, you could let her know you're taking time off.
Honestly I'd just wait for her to text me first.
You intuition is right, IMO.
a2 --> "But what if instead she becomes clingy about it or gets pissed off?" --> end quote a2
Well that will be her problem then. That's no concern of yours.
a2 --> "When I return to clubs, will I ever be able to get her back or go to her club at all without her starting shit?" --> end quote a2
IMO, yes. Really dancers are all about the money. It's a business relationship. You want the part time relationship with the girl without the full time hassles. She wants the sponsor ($$). When you do return, if she's still dancing where you can find her, you'll pick up where you left off, assuming you have money to spend.
What you are worrying about are civilian concerns.
Why tell her? Just do it.
When you return she will either be happy your wallet is back or she won't care. Telling her beforehand won't change that.
I split with my ATF many years ago. I still regret that decision!
I'm thinking of going with the "wife is getting suspcious" route as she has already gotten the "my wife will always come first" speech from me and I'm hoping she'll understand. I'm probably overthinking her reaction and treating her too much like a civvie. Though, as she is one hell of a hustler, I'm not putting it past her to try a bunch of SS on me when I tell her, which is a turn off for me and will leave a bad taste in my mouth that could sit there for a while. Wish me luck...
P. S. - Papi, yes that is her in my avatar.
Now sure some girls will pursue the matter and be very persuasive, complete with wheedling designed to bring you back in - it is their job to bring you in to spend. But if you REALLY believed that she misses you, can't wait to see you, just wants to talk, [insert whatever else she texts], then you would be kidding yourself.
And fear not. if you show back up in a few months and spend like before, she will "forgive you." LOL.
For myself, I'm always going to be me -- respectful, and truly like my ATFs. I'll "hey, really busy for the next couple of months, won't be making it in, but see you in October" message them, they're always fine. I think I could what Rick does, just ignore their texts and come back when I come back, and I'd have the same result -- they'd "Forgive" me and we'd just get right back to it
Rick - I'm kinda ignoring her now and already feeling guilty...but she hasn't cranked up the guilt tripping yet.
Subraman - as always, thank you for being my ATF coach/spirit animal.