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Funny and entertaining review (I thought)

Papi_Chulo

Miami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)

From a recent review of Porthole Pub in Pompano Beach, FL (30-minutes north of Miami):


"... I used to frequent this place a few years back. It hasn't changed its simple neighbourhood bar ambiance but the girls marketing has become less subtle.

Waltzed in on a Friday afternoon, no one asked for a cover and I stood for a minute or two while my eyes adjusted to the dim. The ambiance is more like a neighbourhood sports bar than a strip club. A girl was dancing lazily on the stage and I grabbed a beer, sat at the bar and scoped the place as my eyes adjusted to the dim light .

It wasn't long before a young lady slipped into the chair next to me. She had the same name as a northeastern State and I assume she picked that name because judging by her Sopranos style accent that was where she was from. Nice natural body, maybe a few pounds above ideal weight but pretty ina thirty year old trailer trash sort of way. She was extremely subtle. As I sipped my drink her hand was in my lap as she massaged me to full attention. Her verbal wordplay was just as subtle. I don't think we had been talking for more than a minute before the subject of her gag reflex, and her lack thereof, became the topic of conversation. I played the ignorant tourist (which didn't require much acting) and she explained the dance booths. They are side by side double booths but she said no one cares what goes on on the other side. She also says that she had a deal with the bouncer so we would not be interrupted.

I had planned on chilling a little more but her easy strokes and light squeezes were starting to have their desired effect...fogging my brain until there was only one thought left. They announced the 2 for 1s and it was like a LeMans start as a bunch of couples broke from their chairs heading for the booths at full speed. I suggested we start with the classic lap dance (what can I say..I am a connoisseur of the art) for the first 2 for 25$. By the end of those two songs her dancing had progressed to her fully nude and she had pulled Junior out to enjoy the breeze. The second song ended and the guy to my left in the double booth zipped himself up, tucked back in his shirt and headed out congratulating his partner on a job well done. We were now the only couple in this particular double booth. My girl massages my erection while asking breathlessly what i want. I tell her I want to see if she was kidding about the gag reflex. We agree on a price of 100$ total (including the first 2 for 1) and sh eimmediately drops to her knees. The girl wasn't kidding...she DTed me and start bobbing her head to her own personal allegro beat. A moment later the curtain opens and the bouncer sees me sitting with my pants around my ankles, my dancer on her knees and continuing to play beautiful music on my instrument. He says nothing and pulls the curtain shut. The girl hadn't lied about anything. She had no gag reflex and she had a deal with the bouncer. She takes me all the way, she collects 100$ and I am out the door in a maximum of thirty minutes.

If its mileage (or extras) you want this is the place in Pompano ..."

https://www.tuscl.net/club.php?id=3080