Another SW thread w.r.t. gifts

19 comments

• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  You know, the SW girls will find some way to be uber-cunty about it, but this is a case where I mostly get their point. For the most part I don't "get" giving gifts to strippers that are not something like a more expensive dance than I usually do, a tip (which I almost NEVER offer), an indulgence with a much more expensive liquor than I usually buy, something along those lines -- that is, still along the lines of our business-based exchanges, only more favorable to her. I do think that in most cases, the men offering these gifts have their hearts in the right place. But I can see how the girls would be frustrated getting gifts they don't want, bought with money that could have gone to her in a way that she would have welcomed much more, and that many customers consciously or subconsciously believe entitles them to some extra attention (and she absolutely knows it).
  
  I think for me, there might be a couple of exceptions. When I'm truly in a stripper's life -- on her real facebook interacting with her friends, seeing her OTC for free (whether or not we're having sex) -- and she's in mine, we might be in the gift-giving phase (which goes both ways). Or, sometimes there's some super personal & inexpensive gift I can give a stripper, and I'll do that -- it's inexpensive so it's no big deal for me and it doesn't feel like quid pro quo to her. But with anything over an inexpensive cutesy thing, I worry about the mindset of the customer, whether he truly understands the nature of the relationship... Just my view, hopefully no one gets insulted if you think I've got it all wrong.
• JohnSmith69

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  9 years ago

  I give my favorite otc dancers gifts all the time. But with only rare exceptions I always take them shopping and let them pick out what they want. I dont do this because I think we have some type of relationship other than a paid one. This is simply one of the types of non-cash compensation that the girls get for being my perfect girlfriends sexually. The two best ones (DS I and II) also get all expense paid trips to exotic locations of their choosing. I don't have to incur this expense but I am confident that I get better service because of it. And it's also very hot to shop for sexy clothes with a beautiful young woman knowing that later she will model the clothes for me and then let me take them off.
• gawker

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  9 years ago

  Not wrong at all. I learned by being too close to my ATF and expecting her to appreciate finer things. Several years ago I bought her a handcrafted sterling silver necklace and bracelet with semi-precious stones. Then at Christmas a 14k gold necklace. 6 months later she was being evicted and going into rehab and I was moving her stuff into storage. She asked me to bring her jewelry box to her mother's house which I did but noticed my two gifts were not there. When questioned she said she pawned them. What I thought would be sentimental reasons turned out to be 70 mental reasons. I give her cash now.
• RandomMember

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  9 years ago

  i dont do this because I think we have some type of relationship other than a paid one.
  --------------------------------------------------------------------
  LOL! You're a total riot, JS.
• jackslash

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  9 years ago

  Gawker: "What I thought would be sentimental reasons turned out to be 70 mental reasons."
  
  A great turn of phrase!
  
• jackslash

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  9 years ago

  I give my favorite strippers Christmas gifts and cash. They appreciate both. I usually receive some gifts in return, including some very nice shirts and sweaters.
  
• jackslash

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  9 years ago

  By "favorite strippers" I mean one I'm fucking on a regular basis.
  
• Estafador

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  9 years ago

  if we not friends outside of business, what are we getting gifts for? Being a good worker? That's what the pay is for.
• bubba267

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  9 years ago

  I actually understand what the SW thread was saying. I only provided a gift one time, but didn't like the vibe at all. She didn't say it, but it was obvious it wasn't something she felt comfortable with. BTW, this is also the same girl that has never wanted to talk money. I just slip it in her purse when she is in the bathroom....
• georgmicrodong

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  9 years ago

  The vast majority of gifts I've given strippers have been cash. I've seen far too many flowers in the trash and candy boxes on the bar after the gifting PL is gone to think any other will be appreciated. Hell, I've even been asked if I want to buy jewelry and gift cards that girls have gotten.
  
  I did give my ATF an inexpensive locket with her kids' pictures in it one time. I'm pretty sure she appreciated that one, because I gave it to her *after* the cash, and she still got a little misty eyed. Yeah, I'm a sucker for women with tears in their eyes.
• rockie

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  9 years ago

  I've only "gifted" a dancer once and it was a $30 trinket from a Vegas trip. While I have gotten closer to several dancers than I ever anticipated - my strip clubbing is strictly about my physical attraction to younger or fit women, and I want no trophy wife/girlfriend delusion/drama with any women (20 to 30 years younger than me.)
  
  
  
• Subraman

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  9 years ago

  "The vast majority of gifts I've given strippers have been cash. I've seen far too many flowers in the trash and candy boxes on the bar after the gifting PL is gone to think any other will be appreciated. Hell, I've even been asked if I want to buy jewelry and gift cards that girls have gotten. "
  
  With my first-ever outside-the-club "real" friendship with a stripper -- that is, we hung out together, partied with each others friends, the friendship even lasted years after she retired -- we had a discussion about this. She was rolling her eyes telling me about getting gifts, about how many gifts to strippers ended up thrown away, given away to other strippers or family members, or sold, and how she personally was annoyed that her customers spent money on gifts that they could have given to her. She kept a few high $ items, but a couple of years after she retired she told me she sold all of those, too, because each time she looked at them she was re-reminded that "I had to be nice to that smelly guy to get this", "I had to blow that old guy to get that", etc. In the end, she kept exactly nothing.
  
  People are different, and strippers are people (Yes! I am quite confident of this, having studied the topic extensively), so obviously different strippers have different likes/dislikes. I have no doubt that there ARE strippers who appreciate certain gifts. But I think your base assumption should be, "no matter how much she pretends to love it, I should assume she not only doesn't want gifts from me, but will actually get annoyed about it if it's expensive." Then, if you still want to give her gifts, look for reasons to believe she's one of the minority of girls who actually appreciate it.
• sharkhunter

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  9 years ago

  I read in the local paper that in Cuba, they basically get together and party or celebrate Christmas without all the gift giving or commercialism I read takes place in the US. I don't really enjoy all the gift giving either having received several gifts I did not care for that were expensive and I could have used the money spent a whole lot better at the time for something I wanted or needed. Someone gives me a gift and I'm like, oh , I didn't get them anything, should I now? My previous boss gave me nothing and practically demanded I worked extra hours if I wanted to get a satisfactory performance rating or have a chance at promotion.
  
  For kids though, I do believe in gift giving. I have fond memories of waking up for Christmas and seeing lots of presents under the tree. They were not all for me but I enjoyed Christmas as a kid a whole lot. For older adults, sharing time or giving time by doing chores around the house can be more of a gift than some ornamental thing you care nothing about. I understand.
• georgmicrodong

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  9 years ago

  @Subraman: I agree with everything you said. I learned the "cash makes the best gifts" long ago. There a couple of things my ATF liked about me (aside from my willingness to actually *pay* her to have sex), and my tendency to "not fuck around with gifts [she] was just going to pawn/sell/return/trash anyway."
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  “... hopefully no one gets insulted if you think I've got it all wrong ...”
  
  I think you got it right but I'm still insulted
  
  :)
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  Getting gifts for people, strippers or not, is often a tricky thing in our well-to-do economic society in which most people have what they need and often what they want so it's kinda hard to get someone; particularly an adult; something they may need or want.
  
  Cash is probably the best way to go that way the person can use it for a need (e.g. bills; etc) or something in particular they want.
  
• rickdugan

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  9 years ago

  The one time I was moved enough to buy a gift, I got the favorite a gift card to Sephora. I did already knowing that Sephora was her favorite store. It was a win-win as I got to give her something a little more personalized than cash and she received something that she truly appreciated and would use. f course, she still received her cash for the evening as well.
• Papi_Chulo

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  9 years ago

  I've heard Juice has the nerve to give dancers half-eaten KFC drumsticks; but hey; at least he tried.
• former_stripper

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  9 years ago

  I see both points. I teach now (among other jobs)and for Christmas I get gifts from children I teach. Usually I get simple things like holiday decorations, candles, gift certificates etc that can always be nice and useful. One year I got a lot of candy which I shared with my family because I tend to gain weight. These are all relatively inexpensive (probably $20 or less)and it makes me feel appreciated. On the other hand, I have had the interesting problem where actual boyfriends (as in no connection to any clubs etc)didn't get me anything but other guys did and spent a lot. I've had guys buy me expensive jewelry dozen red roses etc and they weren't boyfriends. Most were just friends. I don't remember any customer buying me much but I did get more money around the holidays which is always appreciated. I always say though that it's important to spend at least one Christmas with someone before marriage to see how they feel. I ended up dumping every boyfriend who didn't buy me anything. Not because I am greedy but if they loved me they'd want to spoil me (and I spoiled them).
  
  I just remembered something a bit funny but many years ago around Christmas this woman was at a club selling things like roses, stuffed animals, etc for guys to buy the dancers. I did have one regular buy me a red rose, which was nice but then he offered to buy me a stuffed animal. Nice, except I already had those she was selling (they were those holiday bears that are sold every year in stores, I used to buy them). They were probably animals she had and felt she could get rid of them.