How often has this happened? You just arrive at a club, sit down, and then feel bombarded with dancer after dancer asking "wanna dance?" every 18 seconds or so. Do you get up and find a seat somewhere else or just say no, no , no, etc.?
Maybe dancers have been educated on this topic now. Now, I often get asked how long have I been there first and the girls will sit with me or on my lap. I'm not sure why but sitting on my lap seems to melt away resistance.
One of my favorite clubs is in Mexico. The girls all sit on an elevated roped off area with numbers pinned to their shirts. A man works the floor, bringing you drinks and making friendly chit-chat. You can ask him about mileage and stuff like that. Then you tell him which girl you like by her number and he makes the arrangements for a private dance.
In some clubs the girls are required to circulate and ask for dances all the time, and if there aren't many customers they never stop hassling you. The only way to avoid this kind of crap is to avoid the club. Look for the laid-back neighborhood Cheers kind of places, they're a lot more fun and a lot cheaper than the glitzy clubs. True, the selection of girls often isn't as good, but it only takes one good one to have a great time.
Once, at the Red Carpet Lounge in Brunswick, GA, a dancer asked a group a guys I was with for a dance. We politely told her no. She came back again five minutes later. We told her no again, nicely. She approached us again. We clearly stated that none of us would ever get a dance and that we would appreciate being left alone to have a private conversation. She kept coming back throughout the evening, each time asking for a dance. She must have come back over twenty times, each time asking for a dance despite our clear refusals. She never stopped coming back the entire night. It was pathetic. Also, at the Men's Club in Charlotte, NC, I was approached by every dancer in the entire place (one by one) as soon as I sat down. The Men's Club is a good club but it sucked until I had rejected every dancer, at which time I could finally relax and enjoy the show.
There's a couple things you can do to lower the hustle factor. The easiest is to become some girl's regular, then whenever anyone else approaches you, you say you're waiting for her. It doesn't take long for word to get around and everyone else will leave you alone. That doesn't mean that you are stuck with just the one girl because before long you will get to know her friends too, so if she's busy you can approach a friend who you like. Or someone new.
If you're new at a club it's a little more difficult but some general rules will still help. First thing I do in a new club is to hit the men's room, which usually gives me a chance to walk around the room, then I stand in a dark corner til my eyes adjust to the dark. Once I have the lay of the land I will either sit at the bar, preferably in a stool where the stools on either side are occupied, or at the stage rail. Girls are usually reluctant to bother you at either of those places. I then watch the stage dances until I see a girl who appeals to me, I tip her, talk a little. Then if I still like her I tip again and ask her if I can buy her a drink, then move to a table and wait for her to join me. If you sit at the bar with an open seat next to you, or worse yet at a table with empty chairs, you're bound to attract a hustler. I also usually go during the day - there's usually less hustle during the day shift. If you go at night when a club is busy it's tough to choose a girl, you'll usually have to make do with one who chooses you. And that's usually going to be one of the less attractive girls, the really hot ones will be busy all evening without ever having to approach a stranger.
SuperDude, vote with your feet and avoid places like that. There are still lots of places out there where that doesn't happen. But I agree, it's becoming more common. A lot of clubs are cutting their own throats by allowing it.
High pressure and hard sell is getting to be the order of the day. It has gotten so bad that if I tell a dancer "maybe later" she will sit at my booth/table waiting for me to change my mind. Well, this makes it hard for me to relax and, maybe by design, harder for other dancers to stop by. I have had a dancer sit, talk and blow smoke on my food, waiting for me to buy a dance. I have had ugly dancers grab me as soon as I sit at the bar, before I can even order a beer, demanding that I buy a dance or least give a tip. Managers and owners seem to have dropped the rules that dancers must display good manners; the pressure to sell dances and drinks makes a guy feel like fresh meat as soon as he enters.
Usually if this happens I leave because I don't care for clubs that are high pressure. Mostly I only go to clubs where I'm known and where I have a favorite so the other girls leave me alone. Although one memorable occasion violated all of the above. I wan't even 10 feet inside this clubs when a girl grabbed me by the arm and said, "quick, nobody's watching the cameras right now, we can do anything we want." She was attractive and friendly so off to a private room we went. Turns out she wasn't bullshitting either, much to my surprise. I was in and out of the club in about 20 minutes but what a memorable 20 minutes it was. Sometimes I guess high pressure can be fun after all.
I think we have all had that experience. Another approach is do you mind if I sit with you? Of course I say no I don't mind even if she isn't my type. This approach however is more respectable than just asking for the dance right off bat.
I just say "Maybe later", or "Not right now"... If the lady is not my type, I just say "Not tonight". Be gentle, yet firm in your response. By the way, the idea of being fresh meat in a den of dancers makes me happy...
At the clubs where I'm a regular, only the new faces come up and ask if I "wanna dance". All the other dancers know who my favorite is and just come over to say hello, but don't try to ask me for a dance.
When in a new club I agree with TGG. The girls are there to work & make money so you're bound to be asked. I'm polite yet strait forward. I'll either say something like "No thank you, I'm all set" or "Actually I just got here, maybe you can check back with me in 10 minutes." I've learned not to just say "maybe later" as it seems the dancers who you want to come back take it as a "no".
That sounds like an arrangement for getting more than a dance. Personally I want to talk to a girl first and get to know her a little. Too many girls look cute til they open their mouths and some average looking ones sometimess really sparkle once you get to know them. I'll take the good personality every time.