Happily Married
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
Is it possible to be genuinely "happily married" and
1. Go to strip clubs on a regular or semi regular basis (not just the occasional bachelor party)
2. Hide your visiting clubs from your wife, and
3. Be involved in all the deceptions that number 2. may require such as lying about your whereabouts, sneaking the money out of joint accounts, etc.?
I'm not criticizing anyone who does these things, obviously, since I'm probably the leader of the pack. However, I don't think it's reasonable under most circumstances to consider yourself to be "happily married" if you have decided to engage in all of these activities. These activities in and of themselves suggest that your wife is not satisfying you sexually. There also may be some serious communication issues since you have decided to go behind her back rather than address the issues with her that make you feel compelled to visit clubs. I suspect that some wives if they found out about these activities would divorce you, or at least there would be hell to pay for quite a while. You clearly recognize how badly she would react which is why you are doing it behind her back. If you feel compelled to do something that she would so seriously object to, I don't see how you can accurately characterize your marriage as a happy one.
I'm not criticizing anyone who does this. I do it routinely, I have for years, and as you know from my DS sex stories it is unbelievably awesome. However, when I started this, it was obvious to me that my marriage was not a happy or satisfying one. If I had truly, genuinely been happily married, I doubt very seriously that I would've gone to my first strip club and I definitely would not have stuck with it. Divorce was not an option for a variety of reasons, but I think I would have done myself a disservice if I had tried to convince myself that we were really happily married despite what I was doing. At least be honest with yourself that there are serious marital issues. Going to strip clubs secretly is certainly one way to deal with an unhappy marriage, but in the long run I think we are all better off if we are honest with ourselves about what we're doing.
I'm going out now to buy a red sports car, but I'll come back later to check the responses.
1. Go to strip clubs on a regular or semi regular basis (not just the occasional bachelor party)
2. Hide your visiting clubs from your wife, and
3. Be involved in all the deceptions that number 2. may require such as lying about your whereabouts, sneaking the money out of joint accounts, etc.?
I'm not criticizing anyone who does these things, obviously, since I'm probably the leader of the pack. However, I don't think it's reasonable under most circumstances to consider yourself to be "happily married" if you have decided to engage in all of these activities. These activities in and of themselves suggest that your wife is not satisfying you sexually. There also may be some serious communication issues since you have decided to go behind her back rather than address the issues with her that make you feel compelled to visit clubs. I suspect that some wives if they found out about these activities would divorce you, or at least there would be hell to pay for quite a while. You clearly recognize how badly she would react which is why you are doing it behind her back. If you feel compelled to do something that she would so seriously object to, I don't see how you can accurately characterize your marriage as a happy one.
I'm not criticizing anyone who does this. I do it routinely, I have for years, and as you know from my DS sex stories it is unbelievably awesome. However, when I started this, it was obvious to me that my marriage was not a happy or satisfying one. If I had truly, genuinely been happily married, I doubt very seriously that I would've gone to my first strip club and I definitely would not have stuck with it. Divorce was not an option for a variety of reasons, but I think I would have done myself a disservice if I had tried to convince myself that we were really happily married despite what I was doing. At least be honest with yourself that there are serious marital issues. Going to strip clubs secretly is certainly one way to deal with an unhappy marriage, but in the long run I think we are all better off if we are honest with ourselves about what we're doing.
I'm going out now to buy a red sports car, but I'll come back later to check the responses.
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27 comments
2. Yes
3. Yes
Practice makes perfect.
Is there some deception involved with #3? Sure, but I don't necessarily think there's all that much.
First off, no joint checking account. I have mine, she has hers. We figure out what shared expenses we have and how much income we brought in each month, and if there's a disparity in our ratio of expenses paid versus our ratio of income, one of us writes a check to the other -- usually, she writes me a check because I pay our biggest expense, the mortgage. Then, what she has left in her account, she can spend as she wishes. She loves it because she knows she gets to keep what she earns and can do with it whatever she wants. Whereas one of her friends is always asking her husband if she can afford a dress this month when they go shopping or whatever, my SO knows whether she can or not because she's the one buying it for herself with her money. I like it because she doesn't need to know what I sometimes spend it on.
With the work I do nights, she knows I sometimes like to have a late dinner or drink ... she just doesn't know I occasionally like to have some scenery or company with it. So no real issue there.
I love my SO, and spending time with her, and her me. Every once in a while, though, I just need something else. It's great to be loved by a wonderful woman. It's even better to occasionally feel like you're loved by two, or three, or however many you want. It's an awesome life.
Course, all of this was twenty-some-odd years ago, too, when the clubs were far more pay-per-view than pay-for-play. What the wives would feel today, I have no idea.
For everyone who thinks they're happily married despite secret strip clubbing, go for it if it works for you. I'm just trying to get people to look at things realistically, but of course our realities are different for each of us.
Hey, but to each his own. I can't stand in judgement of others. I've wasted a small fortune on strippers in my lifetime and plenty of people would say that's wrong.
If your wife is cheating on you, then situation is very different and your marriage is likely over. Women who cheat on their husbands are much more likely to be seeking an emotional attachment.
"Why does divorce cost so much? Because it is worth it."
I am all for equality - She needs to bring home enough money to pay for her half or get the F*** out. Almost every woman I have ever met "wants" to be taken care of = if you love me we need to share everything = I want access to your bank account to spend everything you have saved/made over your entire life and then some.
For anyone contemplating marriage I have one word of advice: DON"T
If you insist I have 8 words:
Ironclad Prenuptual agreement and no joint bank accounts!
I agree that those things don't matter much. However it does very much matter if a wife is fun, exciting, adventurous, creative and satisfying sexually. If she were, then I wouldn't cheat. But she is not, so I stray.
"the cheating doesn't involve any sort of emotional attachment and is about as meaningful as taking a dump."
You must take really awesome dumps. Several of my GFE have been extremely intimate. No we don't love each other, but we spent hours sharing very intimate things with one another. those are the exact things you agree to only do with your wife when you get married.
Tired Traveler, well said. I gladly pass the anti-marriage baton to you.
It's also not always yes or no. I'd give my marriage a 5 or 6 overall, but my sex life in my marriage a 3.
2). No Not forever
3) Happy and lying I don't think go hand in hand and if/when your SO finds out, well, you may not understand the torture They would go through. It's beyond anything you can imagine. I don't have a jealous bone in my body. But if he betrayed me sexually or emotionally? I shudder to think. Personally for me Deception is much worse than the actual act itself.