tuscl

OT: Charlie Brown in another universe!

4got2wipe
In a brilliant place!
I was watching an old Friends episode and iT was the one where they ask what would have happened if the friends hadn't met and formed a tight knit group! Sort of "Friends in an Alternative Universe"!

That got me thinking about a brilliant question! How would the Peanuts cartoons have been if the little bird had been named Altamont instead of Woodstock?

26 comments

  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    4got, if you are thinking of stuff like that, you have way too much time on your hands!

    Now, if I'm going to have to think about this all day, I need more specificity. Like how would the Peanut's characters have developed? Would Snoopy have shot down the Red Baron? Would CB have given up on the football and given Lucy the kick in the face that she so obviously deserved?

    Inquiring minds have a right to know!
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    Brilliant minds, that is. :-)
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    Well, part of the fun is just extrapolating from a single change! But I'll tell you one thing, if the bird had been named Altamont it would have been a much darker comic strip!

    I bet Charlie Brown would have bitch slapped Lucy and sent her out to the corner to give blowjobs for money! Yes, Charlie Brown = pimp and Lucy = hooker!

    Not sure whether that is "not brilliant!" because I'm anti-pimp or "brilliant!" because it is a moving comment on man's inhumanity!

    Any other thoughts?
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    Nah. I've shot my thought was for the day.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    Damn autocorrect! "shot my wad" is how it should have read.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    Well, for starters Linus would be wearing a leather motorcycle jacket rather than carrying a blanket
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    And Schroeder would play a Les Paul guitar not a piano
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    "And Schroeder would play a Les Paul guitar not a piano" Brilliant!

    I also suspect that Schroeder would be a heroin addict!
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    And Snoopy would be a shit talking pitbull. And Woodstock would be a parrot that curses non-stop.
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    So there would be both Woodstock and Altamont? Brilliant!
  • mikeya02
    •
    10 years ago
    I barely remember a Mad magazine parody of the Archie gang. Betty and Veronica were loose tramps, and Archie and Jughead were loser thugs. And they smoked cigarettes.
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    Just cigarettes? I think they should be laced with PCP or something brilliant like that!
  • impala
    •
    10 years ago
    way too much time on your hands to think of this stuff. just go to a strip club
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    ^^^My very first comment exactly, impala. We're brilliant!
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    Peppermint Patty and Marcie are rug-munchers
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    10 years ago
    Snoopy would have to be careful not to drop the soap.
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    Who is Altamont?
  • sharkhunter
    •
    10 years ago
    Charlie Brown in another universe could bring his own football and never have to deal with Lucy taking it away. In fact Charlie could tip Lucy dollar bills on stage while Lucy works at the strip club. Lucy could be telling Charlie he has a big dick and he is so handsome at the club. Meanwhile Charlie Brown has dreams of visiting an alternate universe where he just doesn't have any luck at all but somehow seems the center of attention and everyone seems to read about him.
  • ilbbaicnl
    •
    10 years ago
    Altamont is where the 60s went to die.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altamont_Fr…
  • PhantomGeek
    •
    10 years ago
    I have a feeling Schroeder would've given Liberace and Elton John a run for their money in an alternate universe.
    Lucy would be dealing drugs from her psychiatrist booth. Peppermint Patty and Marcy would be running a dyke sports bar. Linus would be some sort of sexual predator and he'd have a series of blankets, all of them his souvenirs. Snoopy and Woodstock would be at the forefront of an inter-species love movement. Sally would be Linus's bitch, as well as a drunken, drugged-out stripper. And Charlie Brown would still be the loser of the group, a minimum-wage, dateless pathetic loser who'd sit sloppy-drunk stage-side, crying out "AGH!" whenever his sister came out on stage -- and because she was the only one who'd give him a happy lappy.

    How's that for an alternate universe?
  • DandyDan
    •
    10 years ago
    Charlie Brown would only tip Lucy 5 cents.
  • motorhead
    •
    10 years ago
    Instead of Linus giving the true meaning of Christmas...

    http://youtu.be/B_8-OqPo7zY

    There would be groups of people insisting we say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" and lawsuits forcing Nativity scenes to be removed.
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    "Peppermint Patty and Marcie are rug-munchers" Brilliant! But I think Peppermint Patty and Marcie are lesbian in this universe too!
  • 4got2wipe
    •
    10 years ago
    PhantomGeek said that Sally is the only stripper that will give Charlie Brown "a happy lappy."

    That is truly brilliant! A really twisted answer!
  • ATACdawg
    •
    10 years ago
    Lucy would be selling "nickel bags" from her booth instead of nickel advice (that's nickle for you london-guy ;-) )
  • PhantomGeek
    •
    10 years ago
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