Mowvember, Cousin Slick Style

So, they say it's Mowvember. I started in October, or like the queers call it, Cocktober. Anyways, my version of Mowvember is slightly different. I grow decent facial hair but with a caveat. Only a goatee looks good on me. When I grow a stache, I either look like a day laborer hanging out in front of a Home Depot or a Mustache Pete, eating linguini. I can't and wont grow a huge beard. Reasons why include- not wanting to be or look like a hipster and not wanting to look like a member of Murder Mosque Inc. So, what am I to do? Well, I haven't trimmed my boys down under since early October. Yup, that's right, my twig and berries are rocking out, 70's style. Matter of fact, all I gotta do is plant a Black Power Pick in my pubes and it'll look like I'm getting a blow job by Angie Davis. Mowvember, fuck yeah!