Serious Topic: Open letter to LMN dude...
zipman68
the speed force!
However, the dude does seem to have interludes of self-loathing. So I'm going to assume he may actually be telling a distorted version of the truth. Perhaps he is a relatively well off but twisted lil' cruller that that feels he's leading a hollow life. Might be true...
If so, I have a suggestion -- involve yourself in charity my friend. Think about issues that might really improve the world and give your time and/or (nearly-infinite) money to that cause. Be it human rights, the arts, scientific research, or just those either here or abroad that are less fortunate than you.
I'm being totally serious here. Charity does make you feel good! Have as much hot and groovy sex with strippers as you want, but only if you're having fun doing it. If it makes you feel hollow find something that doesn't leaving you feeling that way.
And, if you really are doing even 1/10th of the amount of drugs you claim to do -- get help. I'm not anti-drug per se. Personally, I don't take them -- not since my wasted youth of many moons ago. Not fun enough to be worth the trouble. But I'm not going to judge anybody who uses. But the level use you describe can't be healthy. Even assuming it is greatly exaggerated you may have trouble.
And never drive if you're drunk or high. Get a taxi -- you can afford it dude.
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I muse about it but the truth is that what I am posting is true. If I was a troll or something, I wouldn't discuss my drug addictions and disgust at my lifestyle and completely hollow life funded by family money.
I give to a couple charities. but I give for selfish reasons. I give because I like going to the charity balls and coming in a cool car and having people suck my proverbial dick because I gave money.
Maybe there is some flaw within myself that makes me unable to get pleasure from things most do. I have often wondered that. I do drugs because they are fun but they also make me feel human. I fuck strippers because it's fun but I also like feeling alive, day to day I rarely do.
Ironic I'm writing this as I'm already getting high and 2 strippers are coming over to my condo with more blow, booze and weed.
I've often joked about how we foresee our deaths with friends. I usually say I'll drive drunk into a nightclub. I'm joking, but that's my humor.
When we started the evening there were three of us but only two microdots. So we dissolved the acid in some juice so we could share among the three of us and put some Navajo music on the boom box (ah...there I times I long for the old school stuff). After sufficient time we drank the juice and sat down to let the drug take effect before an evening of pool.
At this point the dude who brought the microdots decides he needs to call his girlfriend. Apparently, the microdots were his girlfriend's. After an argument that seemed to go on *forever* he hung up. I asked what she said.
His reply? She said "once, just once, say no to the drugs..."
As Juice would say, thank about it.
That would be consistent with sociopathy which you say your shrink diagnosed you with. Need to do crazy things on the edge to feel anything.