Why are you sitting here by yourself?

Be honest. Just say you're scoping out the talent and will let her know. If she persists just say I was trying to be nice. I don't want to sit with you.

If I don't like the look of the girl, or her attitude I tell them I am waiting for my wife to return from the restroom. It scares the off 99% of the time.

Just tell her you're waiting for your Viagra to kick in:)

I have gotten that a lot and I imagine other TUSCLers have also.

Dancer – “Why are you sitting here by yourself”

Me – “Because I came alone”

If she’s attractive and you want her company then you could answer:

“I was waiting for you”

if you don’t want her company – you could say:

“just chilling”

"Just sitting with all my friends"

"I gave my posse the night off"

Like skibum, I'm not afraid of the girls, and am fairly straightforward without trying to be an asshole. I don't think there's anything to be gained by putting too much thought into it.

If the answer is, "I'm waiting for someone", I say there. If the answer is, "just got here and like to spend a little time by myself checking out the girls", I say that. If I want to chill by myself but want her to come by later, I tell her that, too "just give me a half hour, then I'd definitely like your company, will you come back then?". By contrast, if she stays pushy and I don't want her company, I tell her that, too. The two things I don't do are: 1. be an asshole to her or dismissive of her, or 2. act weak or spineless

One time I said I was waiting for someone. Then that way if I want to bail, I can play it like the imaginary person couldn't make it haha.

But usually I'm just honest. Like to say I'm relaxing or that I'm just scoping things out and that ill be ready for a dance in a little while.

Papi stole my line. I have used, "I was waiting for you." or some derivative for years.

There are many follow on lines, like, "But I've waited so long I'm not in the mood now."

or: "Where have you been my whole life?"

or: "I was beginning to think you didn't like me."

or: "I have hand-cuffs and the duct tape in my back pocket, are you ready?"

or: "I was gonna' go shoot that guy you were with, but I forgot my silencer so it would make too much noise."

or: you get the idea!

Yeah, I'd have to agree that's a case by case basis thing, depending on whether she's worth not being alone anymore.

With that or similar questions I usually answer with any of the following.

"I am waiting on (whichever dancer I am waiting on)"

"All my favorites are currently busy."

or when I am really feeling a bit ticked.

"No one so far has interested me."

Most of the times they get the hint and leave, those who don't and ask if I would like to get a few dances with her in the meantime I usually reply with, "Sorry I am waiting on 3 other dancers after her and don't want to try any more."

I generally will sit with any dancer but there was one who just never got the hint that I wasn't interested in a dance or her company. After asking me for a dance 5 times I told her I prefer girls who are slimmer than she. She flipped me off and left. Problem solved.

If she is not the one I want I say i'm waiting for someone in particular.

Had this conversation las week: Obese dancer "Hi are you having a good time?" Me "I just got here" Obese dancer "Do you want some company?" Me "No thanks, I'm waiting for someone" Obese dancer "Who are you waiting for?" Me "just a dancer I know" Obese dancer "what is her name?" Me "I would rather not say" Obese dancer "Do you know her name?" Me "Look I'm just here to relax and don't care to be interrogated" Obese dancer "Well F#*k you"

I still can't figure out what part of "No thank you, I'm waiting for someone" she didn't understand.

^ it’s the “SC bizarro effect” I often site.

In the “real world” – many PLs can’t take no for an answer when hitting on women – is SCs – it’s the women that often can’t take no for an answer.

“Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes”

The ugly ones get "I just farted and needed a moment to myself"

Ironcat: Me "No thanks, I'm waiting for someone" Obese dancer "Who are you waiting for?"

Subraman: I usually don't mind talking to any of the girls in the club. If I'm just sitting around, even if I'm not interested in her, unless she's a very unpleasant girl, I don't mind talking to her. So if I get the "who are you waiting for", at that point I no longer worry about wasting that girl's time. I'll usually respond, "who do you think I'm waiting for". If she takes a guess, I'll say, "why do you think I'd be attracted to her? Why not that other girl over there?". I don't let her ask a question -- or rather, never answer her questions, only ask more myself -- and keep absolute 100% control of the conversation, and take it where I want it to go. Sometimes the girls figure out what I'm doing and we laugh about it, and now I have a new stripper friend at the club. Sometimes they have no patience and just walk away, and now I know someone to avoid.

This wouldn't work for you guys who get very stressed or irritated talking to strippers who you don't want to dance with. And it's good fun, taking total control of the conversation ... you should never let the girls walk you into those interrogation sessions.

"I'm not alone, she's just under the table blowing me at the moment."

"What are you blind? My friend Harvey the 6-foot talking rabbit is sitting right here next to me."

"Ever seen Alien? One of 'em's going to pop out of my chest withing the next 3 minutes."

"Who the fuck knows? I even stopped buying soap so I could spend the money on dances, and I don't even get offered any!"

"I don't know. Can you come and sit in my lap so your dress will soak up the wet spot?"

"I'm never alone since I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. And are you saved, young lady?"

"You can sit here. But when the waitress brings my garlic bread, don't think I'm sharing just because it's my third order."

"Cause my bitches know dey BETTAH naught come obu heah till theys got at LEASE tree hunred ta gives me!"

I just tell them I am waiting for the Johnson to get ready for the 2nd shift ;)

If a dancer persists in asking who I'm waiting for, I might give a couple of names or say I do not see them yet but that I just got there and don't want any dances right now anyway. They have always left after saying that. One time a dancer told me so and so dancer name they hadn't seen and she didn't think she was working that night. I appreciated the information.

I arrive around the same time in one club as some late arriving dancers. Dancers and I sometimes talk about if they have seen so and so, dancer x or dancer y. Asking a gazillion questions is not just a dancer thing, it's a female thing. I have enough female relatives to know how irritating that can be at times. I sometimes get one relative to finally stop asking questions by telling her and then I'm going to use the bathroom. That always shuts then up and lets them know they asked too many questions. I never used that one on dancers though. I think one of my relatives is a lot worse.

I believe some dancers do not even realize they are irritating or not taking a hint. They may want to know who you are waiting for so that they can let you know if she's arrived or let her know she has someone waiting on her. Because I believe you are only feeding a dancer's curiousity telling her you are waiting on someone, I rarely say that.

I’m waiting for my psych meds to kick in or Wayne Brady is gonna have to choke a bitch

As far as why I'm sitting alone, I like using the line I just arrived and wanted to check out who was working before getting any dances, if I don't really care for her to join me. Other than that if I like her I might say I just arrived and not much else. She might ask a couple questions maybe even asking you if she should come back later.

The other night in one club I just arrived and a dancer sat down beside me at the bar. I initially didn't do much to keep her attention. I let her get away after a while not realizing the talent that night was horrible and she was the hottest girl in the club. I didn't quite understand why she thought I got a champagne room dance from her before. Mistaken identity? She looked familiar though. I did get a couple of dances for no extra charge in the champagne room when the regular room filled up several weeks ago. Maybe she was one of those girls. I couldn't remember. They only do two for one dances at announced times in club Lust. I didn't see much reason to stay after I let her go. I stopped wasting time and went over to platinum where I saw better overall talent. The better talent at lust either wasn't working yet or off that night.

I have never gotten this question. Usually they just ask if they can join me, to which I usually reply "Why? Am I coming apart?" It usually flies right over their pretty little empty heads.

OK, now we have more than enough to do the 10 Ten Reasons Your Sitting Alone When a Stripper Asks Why on The Late Show.

The comment by ilbbaicnl, "I'm never alone since I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. And are you saved, young lady?" made think of something a comedian said. I wish I could remember which. Anyway, it was when someone approached Clint Eastwood at the airport and asked him if he knew Jesus Christ? Clint pills out his .44, cocks it, points at the dude and says, "No, but would you like to me him personally?" (said in the Dirty Harry voice).

I would say that sort of conversation would drive dancers away. But since they all talk, you may never see another one approach.

Or better yet. To not even be bothered, just wear a clerical collar.

^^^^?

I'm waiting on someone intelligent enough to make conversation.

Thanks for all of the suggestions. I think I am gonna go with "I just farted". :)

"The wife's outside, locked in the trunk. I let her out when we get home, as soon as I'm ready to fuck her. "

sc,

At our age, we can get away with just "cupping" our ear and keep saying, "I can't hear you."

@lopaw While I don't agree with the stereo type that most strip club custies are nebbishes, nebbishes are more likely to end up in strip clubs, lacking other sexual outlets. Consequently strippers have higher-than-normal nebbish exposure. Conseqently, strippers have laughed at a bizarre statement they thought was clearly a joke, resulting in a pissed-off nebbish and a loss of revenue. It makes them gun shy as far as laughing at sarcastic-type jokes, out of fear you might seriously mean the ridiculous thing you're saying.

I just farted and I'm waiting for the air to clear.

Thanks ilbbaicnl. Makes sense.

You've got more clubbing hours than anyone on this board save for possibly Clubber, and you can't think of a good response to this?

Please return your balls to the nearest mailbox.

Hard,

I know sc is waaaay ahead of me hours spent in clubs, but I might make it a close run on individual visits. :)