tuscl

How would you have handled this?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005 9:01 PM
(Apologies if this bores you -- this isn't really much of a discussion topic so much as a story that doesn't really quite make enough sense to become a review.) A dancer I used to lust over comes over, grabs my crotch, starts rubbing all over me and wants me to get dances from her. I say no thanks. She tells me that I should be her new boyfriend. I look at her and ask her what does that mean? She tells me that she has broken up with her old boyfriend -- news to me that she had one but no huge surprise, she's hot -- and she's free to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants now. Like she's implying that we're going to be having sex nonstop all the time. I'm not buying it, and I don't really want to be paying for it either. She asks for my phone number. I think about this for a split second (no) and then spend some time pretending to think about this as if I might be mulling it over. Then I tell her no anyways. She asks me, "Don't you want to be my boyfriend?" I tell her no, she asks me why, and I tell her, "I don't know you." All the while I'm looking her straight in the eye the entire conversation. She has a good poker face so I spend that time studying her makeup instead of trying to figure out what her facial expressions mean. That apparently satisfies her curiosity on the subject. She then tells me about her new dog and makes cute barking noises. I laugh -- she's actually usually more fun to be around than the average "wanna dance?" dancer. Maybe some of you are wondering why I am thinking turning down this hot stripper chick. Well, she's telling me about her new house. I tell her congratulations, noting in my head that in the recent past she has (a) told me that she owns a big house and two golf courses, (b) been kicked out of the club manager's apartment for being late on the rent, and (c) made thousands of dollars in the NYC Scores $1500 VIP rooms. Also, the gender of her dog goes from a "she" to a "he" in the span of the single breath it takes to describe it. In other words, it's just stripper shit. I used to enjoy her dances but lost interest in her fast when she started lying to me about this, that, and the other thing. Besides, I'm not interested in OTC for pay or becoming someone's sugar daddy. Question: would you have gone ahead and engaged in OTC or even a relationship with someone like this? Keep in mind that she's actually a really hot, very sexually aggressive stripper that you've really enjoyed dances from in the past.

14 comments

  • chandler
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    19 years ago
    And while you're at it, don't forget to make sure she's not a transsexual. She might have gotten an operation for her dog as part of the deal. And if she's a space alien, she might be using those golf courses for night landings. Or if she's a serial killer, that could pose some problems for your future life together.
  • casualguy
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    19 years ago
    One other thing to consider here is that she may be trying to seek revenge on her boyfriend for him cheating or doing something. You might get into bed with her but her ex boyfriend may come back and come after you if he doesn't consider her to be an ex. I'd also ask about what line of work (ie description) of her ex to see who broke things off and make sure he's not coming after you. Avoid trouble strategy. Example: her "ex" boyfriend is in the mafia and he cheated on her. So she uses you to get back. Now, she's happy but her boyfriend knows about you. That would not be good. Saying you don't know enough about her is good.
  • casualguy
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    19 years ago
    I will also add if you did hit it off with her be prepared to break things off suddenly. She may be late on the rent or something and suddenly ask for a loan. Then you might get in a fight after telling her no. She may have the looks for a girlfriend but she carries a lot of baggage and possible financial problems and possibly other problems in my opinion. I might also ask what she is planning on doing after she finishes stripping. If she has no plan except to get married, you might be looking at a gold digger.
  • casualguy
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    19 years ago
    If you gut is telling you to stay away, I'd listen to it. However I might play along a bit and see what her motive is. Does she want someone new to make love to with no money involved? If she even hints at some money or charge involved, she is not asking for a boyfriend but a sugar daddy of some sorts. If she is into drugs, I would avoid her. I believe it's asking for trouble to get involved with anyone using drugs. I have heard if you give a ride to someone who has drugs on them, your car can be confiscated and kept by law enforcement. I try to avoid trouble instead of asking for it. However a little bit of fun at no cost would be ok.
  • chitownlawyer
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    19 years ago
    My high school girlfriend used to say, back in the smoky late 70s, "Reality is for people who can't handle drugs."
  • chandler
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    19 years ago
    I don't mind one bit if a dancer uses drugs. I use drugs. Drugs are fun. Most people who use them don't have a problem because of it. True, dancers who do have drug problems usually aren't fun to be around. They are probably outnumbered by dancers you'd never know did drugs.
  • chandler
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    19 years ago
    JC: I would have played along, had a little fun with her proposition. I'd have said, "I don't believe in being the boyfriend of anybody I haven't fucked. Let's head out of here for an audition." It might be interesting to see how far she'd take it. I wouldn't agree to anything too fishy, but to just act indignant and dismiss her offer out of hand seems kind of anti-fun.
  • minnow
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    19 years ago
    OTC; No way, she wants a sugar daddy. If himi club, I might have tried at least a few lap dances w. her. Good idea not to give out ph#. Furthermore, if dancer gives you her #, do not call her on your house or cell phone. Your incoming call# will be registered, and calls asking for $$$ will follow. Not sending $$ stopped those calls in my case.
  • AbbieNormal
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    19 years ago
    The drugs is just speculation, but in my experience when a stripper can't keep her narative straight for more than a few minutes there is something mind or mood altering involved. I think the two golf courses and house lie would have put me off too. I don't mind a reasonable lie, but come on... don't insult me. That kind of a whopper usually comes when ones judgement is impaired in some way. I've known a few dancers that did drugs. The first thing is I'd never meet them OTC. I enjoyed one or two in the club, but sooner or later they have to go do a line with their girlfriend or meet with the club dealer or whatever. That makes them unreliable. I usually steer clear, although two past favorites used weed regularly.
  • tropicalH2O
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    19 years ago
    JC, as a dancer and nurse I know that a lot of dancers drink alcohol before or during their shifts to enjoy or deal with the customers better. Soma, a muscle relaxant, is probably the most common drug used at the clubs I work at. It has an effect like alcohol w/o the ETOH (alcohol) breath, but it's easy to OD on. Weed is also common and cocaine and meth are regularly used by some dancers. Your gut (intuition) is warning you not to get involved with this dancer, pay attention. -T
  • JC2003
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    19 years ago
    I didn't even consider drugs into the equation. I suppose that's possible. Some dancers tell me that some of the other dancers are doing drugs, getting drunk, etc. in the back. Not being experienced with drugs, it's difficult for me to recognize any subtle behavior patterns of people who partake. The obvious ones are easy to detect as otherwise unexplainable behavior. I have only recently become aware of some of the less obvious behavior patterns of drug use. I suppose that's a decent topic for discussion: if you were aware that a stripper whose services you favor did drugs, how did that affect your opinion of them? Did it affect your decision to get dances from them? I know that it definitely negatively affects my attitude towards a woman who isn't a dancer. Examples: I wouldn't want a woman (or any person, for that matter) that did drugs being a doctor or nurse, handling my money at a bank, or driving kids to school on a bus. I wonder if a woman being a dancer diminishes my negativity towards her about her drug use, as if being a dancer somehow made it more plausible or more excusable for them to do drugs. A few dancers claim that using drugs or getting drunk helps them to loosen up and do their job better even.
  • AbbieNormal
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    19 years ago
    I forgot to mention, I wouldn't do OTC with her either. If you are put off enough by her behavior to not want dances how comfortable will you be meeting OTC. There is also the safety factor. "Hey, show up here carying a lot of cash." Hmmm...
  • Jpac73
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    19 years ago
    I would rather someone keep it real with me or at least do a good job of showing like you like my company, but don't tell lies so obvious that I can clearly see through them. If you don't enjoy her lapdances anymore I would just move on to another dancer. I wouldn't take her up on the OTC thing because she is just trying to get you "hooked" so you will be spending more money on her. If it was me and I didn't want to speak with her anymore I would just come right out and tell her that I think she is fake.
  • AbbieNormal
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    19 years ago
    Sounds like a LOT of stripper shit mixed with a hard sell and a dash of drugs.
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