AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report)—Republican lawmakers in the Texas State Senate are proposing a precedent-setting new bill that would make it illegal for women to live in the state.
Senator Harland Dorrinson, one of the many pro-life lawmakers backing the woman ban, crafted his bill after witnessing Senator Wendy Davis filibuster an anti-abortion bill last month.
“That was our moment to say, ‘Enough is enough,' †he said. “This comes down to a choice between life and women, and we choose life.â€
Senator Dorrinson said his bill would call for a twenty-foot woman-proof fence to be constructed along the borders of the state.
“Women are great at talking, but not at climbing,†he observed.
But another G.O.P. state senator, Cal Jamson, believes that the total ban on women goes “too far†and is proposing a less draconian bill that would allow some women to remain in the state as guest workers.
“Texas needs women to cook, clean, and cheerlead,†he said.[And be strippers} “If they show that they can do those things and stay out of politics, there could be a pathway to citizenship.â€
Replies (10)Latest
Is this a joke?
Ha ha
Classic!!!!!
Lol Although its obviously a joke, I wouldn't put it past a state like Texas to actually try something like that.
Good ol' Rick Perry and company.
The state of Texas is the joke.
Texas I'd full of steers and quiers...this may be true
Parody of their recent abortion law
The state of South Carolina would like to welcome all the displaced women of Texas, plus the hot strippers. :) We have a female governor here. We get along with the women.
Sounds like they passed the anti-abortion bill and it is waiting for Rick Perry's signature...
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