Something different

Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish ........................ 49. Adventurous .............. Slept with everyone. Athletic ...................... No breasts Average looking .......... Moooo. Beautiful .................... Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure ... On medication. Feminist .................... Fat Free spirit .................. Junkie Friendship first .......... Former slut. New-Age ................... Body hair in the wrong places. Old-Fashioned ........... No BJs. Open-minded ............. Desperate Outgoing ................... Loud and Embarrassing. Professional .............. Bitch Voluptuous ................ Very Fat Hugh frame ............... Hugely Fat Wants soul mate ....... Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay