Can you get too cool with a stripper to ask for sex?

Put the moves on her like you would a civvie and then see if she asks for money

IMHO you have to decide in your mind what she is to you - dancer or girlfriend. If it is dancer, ask for sex if want it and if she appears willing.

Do you want a girlfriend or a fuck toy? Answer that question, then proceed accordingly.

Did you gift her any cash for your time at lunch? Does she provide extras at the club?

Ask her if she'll give you a private show. Your answer will be in her reply somewhere.

Too cool for sex? Do pigs like smelling their own shit

I think realistically he has spent too much money already and waited too long for making her a GF to be a realistic option here. (I also suspect he has been playing "nice guy" for too long to make dating "for free" a realistic option.) yes, there are exceptions to every rule, but, by definition, they only apply rarely.

@Tlk: you have probably been around the SC scene long enough that you can trust your instincts on whether she is the type who does not do sex for money. If so there is no point asking - plenty of others you can go to for that. I would say if it was earlier on go for it, but I doubt you could change your path with her at this point smoothly, although if you do navigate it let us know. I won't say it's impossible just very unlikely.

Btw, by "nice guy" above, I mean I suspect you didn't act aggressively enough early on. Usually I think people know who they like and don't the first time they meet them, and should act by the third meeting at the latest.

if you're age appropriate for her date her. but, it doesn't sound like that's the case. if you genuinely enjoy her company and just want friendship, stop buying dances and see if she still enjoys your company. if so just be friends, if not offer her $ for sex.

Simple. When you take her out for her b-day tell her that you've booked a hotel room for you to finish the evening at. Either one of three things will happen.

1. She will decline the offer, perhaps with some excuse. Accept that you are permanently in the friend (without benefits)zone.
2, She will ask for a certain amount of money either directly or with some excuse about what she needs it for. You now have an OTC girl.
3. She will accompany you to the hotel room and have sex with you without asking for money. You now have a stripper girlfriend with all the drama and baggage that comes with one.

hell, you guys make things so complicated! just ask her where she thinks your relationship is going. if she won't commit tell her you think she's really hot, and not having sex with her is driving you crazy, so is there any way that can happen?

What evidence is there that is any "relationship"? That definitely sounds like a creepy-ass question to ask.

Damn Carolynne I like your directness. And inno123 I like the 3 choices you give. Either one of which would be acceptable. And to answer a few questions. When we went to lunch I didn't do anything but buy her lunch and a drink at o'charleys like a regular girl. Funny thing is I didn't not start out looking for a GF at all. Eventhough she is 12 years younger than me a really attractive and I'm single for the most part I'd just rather have a really cool OTC dancer. Oh and I have an UPDATE....she texted me a little while ago and asked when my bday was and it just so happens that it is in 2 weeks. And hers is in a month. She then said that she would have to pick out a nice place for us to eat dinner for my bday. Go figure. Sounds like she plans on paying. I'm not used to strippers acting like regular chicks. Than again she could just enjoy our conversation and want to keep me as a regular.

I say go direct. Women appreciate assertiveness and dancers are going to be attracted to it even more.

But you have to decide what you want. Do you want an OTC plaything or a stripper girlfriend, or a hot looking normal girlfriend. If it is the last you may have a problem. Women are the way you find them and almost surely will not change.

Good luck dude.

if she pays for your dinner and then gets you off later after dessert that will be the best b'day you'l ever have.

TlkDo, you are confused. Strippers do not make good girlfriends. Too much drama, too much baggage as others have said.

Alucard, George, and Inno hit the bullseye with their comments. Even Dougster had some valid concerns.

After 2 months, its time to have sex with this beautiful women you "connect" with. After all, that's what they're made for.

Being a fuck buddy with her would be good. Dating her would not be good, you have no idea what she does to other customers in the VIP, and theres's a good chance she's fucking other customers OTC (because most strippers do, especially in this economy).

I would also stay away from dating her but for sure play with her if you can.

And Carolynne is either back from her trip or in between romps. Good to hear from you girl.

For me personally, a dancer who would be offended if a guy thought she MIGHT do P4P is way to silly to try to be serious about.

I would put my feelings on the table. I would say I wanted us to try dating, but if you only are interested in me as a customer, that's fine, no drama. I would say if we get serious I will help you out with your bills, my wanting to date you isn't about being cheap. As her customer or her boyfriend, remind her from time to time how lucky you feel to be with a woman who is so much more attractive than you are.

Just so you know many girls go out with their regulars for dinner w/o being paid for their time. Regular just pays for the dinner. Doesn't mean there is any "relationship" there. It's like how my lawyer, my broker and my accountant all sent me Christmas cards this year. Don't mean nothing just business.

IME, if strippers want to fuck you (for free or paid) they will be putting out some pretty blatant signals. Won't be any ambiguity.

I don't what some of you guys are thinking. I mean, making the huge assumption that he is dealing with a normal girl, who happens to be a stripper, and doesn't do P4P, then it is beyond obvious to me that if he asks her if she does P4P it is going to change his "relationship". Normal girls are very rarely cool with guys who pay women for sex, and by asking her he is obviously tipping his hand that he does that. It's not like she is going to think "he only asked me, and still fully respects me".

Also he is going to be sending her the signal that he thinks she is a whore. Things will change, although she make act like they haven't.

Now I say it is unlikely that he has might a normal girl, and they have a genuine friendship. But if all that is true, he should not ask for P4P if he wants to keep things that way. The answer too his question of whether they he can be too cool with her to ask is "yes". Very rare that that situation would arise with a stripper but not impossible. And it's not like she would ever forget he asked either.

Yes. But, once you reach that point you gotta ask yourself: "Am I okay continuing on with her like this? or Is the possibility of sex with her worth losing this (whatever it is) if I make a move?".

You carry on like this, you'll always be wondering "should I/should I not?". You make a move, you'll either have sex with her, or get turned down and carry on how you've been doing, or lose her as a (whatever she is).

It's time to make a move. You're probably just one of her regulars (who she wants to keep as a regular) at this point. I think going for it is worth the risk. If it doesn't work out you can move on to a new girl.

I'm assuming you haven't made any kind of move yet? No kiss or anything? Go for something without offering money first; like a kiss after dinner or something. If she rejects your attempt, then put the money on the table.

You hit the nail on the head dougster. That is exactly what I'm wondering,if I ask to basically pay her for sex is it going to change our relationship as it is currenty? If there is a chance she will be offended. And you say yes. I agree. That what I feared. Because the ways things are right now are pretty good. The way my life is currently OTC would be my preferrence rather than have to dick around with all the other stuff. Particulary with a dancer. Some of you have pointed out that strippers don't make good GF's. No shit! I know this man:) I just don't want to lose the friendship or whatever it is we have because one way or other I think I can fuck this chick. I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action.

Make a move and see what happens. Believe it or not there are other strippers.

Ummm yea dude I know there are other strippers...LoL! That wasn't the point of my post. I was just seeking some opinions on whether becoming too friendly with her reduces my chances of being able to get some OTC pussy from her in a nutshell.

Reading all the posts in this thread I think for you that you should do what Carolynne said.

If she does do paid OTC, then she does it. Getting overly friendly with her won't mean that she won't for you if she does for others. (Only situation I can think of where a girl offered extras generally, but probably won't have to me, is when I was "friends" with one of her friends, but her friend didn't know she was an extras-girl and she didn't want her friend to find out.)

I too would go along with Carolynne's point. I recently ended a relationship that was not going the way I wanted it to.

Carolynne's advice does seem like a good way to go.

I do like Carolynne's approach ... in fact I may take that line and use it myself