Strategy

How do I have "good" sex?

What follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible--what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself-- you should not feel anxious afterwards about getting her pregnant or catching some horrible disease, so planning ahead about contraception and safe sex is part of the idea.

What time should we have sex?

When you have sex doesn't really matter. What should matter instead is that you and your partner have sex when you are both comfortable. Some people prefer to make love at the break of dawn, some in the afternoon sun, some in the darkness of night. More important than time of day is the time you have to spend. Give yourself a lot of time to have sex the first time. A weekend is ideal, but at least the whole day, including sleep time.

Should we eat or drink anything before sex?

Avoid eating a heavy meal, since that'll just make you sleepy. Eat light, don't drink too much alcohol, if any at all. It may help you shed inhibitions, but it may also make his erection much more difficult to achieve and you want to spend more time in the bedroom than the bathroom anyway, right?

Where should we have sex?

Where you have sex is probably a more important decision. Finding a place where you both can be private for up to forty-eight hours can be difficult at that age where most people are planning on losing their virginity. But it's worth it. Cars are no longer big enough to have sex in, and the outdoors has less privacy, bugs, sand, and pine needles. A bed is probably the best thing to make love in, still. Hopefully you'll have a room to yourself, with all the amenities that a bedroom affords, including heat, comfort, space, and the bathroom. Take a shower together! If you're about to have sex, you've probably had your hands all over each other before now. Get to know each other's bodies. Take your time. That's what lovemaking is about.

What do we need to bring?

Bring what you need to make you comfortable. Birth control, condoms, maybe your favorite pillow or a bathrobe.

Will we come at the same time?

Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous. Some women do not orgasm during intercourse until they have gained experience, and even if you both are capable of climax, the odds are very much against the two of you coming together the first time. Enjoy yourselves, and rely on one another to tell the truth about what is pleasurable and what is satisfying.

FOR HER:

What do I do first?

You can't expect him to know what makes you feel good. You'll have to tell him or show him, and that may mean taking some of the initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you feel good. Don't be afraid to ask him to "be gentler" or change positions. Go slow. If it's his first time, he may well be totally nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to bring it back to life, and that may be hard for you to achieve, but that's why we told you to give yourselves lots of time.

Will it hurt?

You have probably heard horror stories about how much losing your virginity hurts. For a few women, it does, but with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to take his penis into your body without pain. Have him take his time, use a lubricant, and press his fingers into you, opening you up slowly. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts.

What position should I use?

Many women prefer to have sex the first time being on top, where they can control the first entry. Others want to be on the bottom and give their lovers that control. Choose what's best for you. Just remember to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly.

FOR HIM:

What if I can't get it up?

It may sound funny, but your penis, which has worked great for years, may suddenly go on strike at your first chance at "real" sex. That's natural-- you're nervous. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about your anxiety, and your penis will respond. It's only a temporary thing.

Should I tell her if I'm a virgin?

Many men think that because they're men, they should be in charge of the sex, regardless of who has the more experience. If you're a virgin and she's not, tell her, and let her lead if she wishes. This is as much a learning experience as a loving one. Don't be afraid to confess the truth. A lot of women would rather know that your fumbling is inexperience, rather than just sheer ineptitude, and will gratefully show you the ways of the world.

What if I orgasm too soon?

If you actually climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your time, take a nap, and try again. The second time you should be much more relaxed and ready to take your time-- so will your penis.

Am I big enough? Too big? The right shape?

Size of the penis is a common concern. The average penis is slightly more than five and a half inches in length when erect, and that's more than enough to hit every major nerve center of the clitoris and the vagina, the legendary G-spot included. The vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis, or shape itself to pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with your ability as a lover. Another common issue is shape. Some men become concerned because their penis bends downwards, or to the left, and assume that because they never see men like them in erotic movies that they're not normal. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult or painful because the vagina isn't shaped with that bend in mind. Keep in mind that sex can be performed in any number of positions. The penis and vagina can be matched in many different ways, and each new position can bring new pleasures to you and your partner. Some people believe that a downward-bending penis is much easier to perform oral sex upon.

Will I be a good lover?

Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically. With the right partner, time, care, and practice, you have everything you need to become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be fumbling and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times for the rest of your lives

i will “usually” stick it out for at least an hour. I figure there may be some girls in the DR that I have not seen or that may have been in different parts of the club and I had not had a chance to see. Being there for an hour or so also gives me time to check out the stage rotation and see if there is anything to my liking.

Having said this - I will bail on a club a few minutes after arriving if I can tell it is definitely not my type of club. My preference is for black dancers and if the club does not have any at all and is full of skinny white chicks – then I will bail.

“… Have you had any of those nights where all signs looked bad, and then they suddenly significantly improved …”

Yes. As many TUSCLers may attest, often times it just takes that one dancer, that sometimes comes out of the blue when all seems lost :), to make your night and one’s visit worthwhile – this can happen in a new club or a familiar club. So yeah, I’ve had that visit when it all seemed lost and then found a really cool dancer that more than made the visit worthwhile.

SC visits are often a crap shoot whether it is a regular or new club. There are times when the visit has started off great and ended lacklusterdly, and vise-versa. Sometimes I’ll go in w/ great expectations and be disappointed; other times I’ll just go in just to chill and will end up having a great time.

Two words: just ask.

If I am going to a new club I first assume it is going to be alright since I always check out the reviews on here first. Never do I go to a club with bad reviews. I would prefer to stay for a few minutes and get a feel for the club before deciding if it is good enough to stay or not. However my friends out number me and they go on first instinct right when we enter the club.

I usually bury a half of a sweet potato and pray to Aphrodite that my strip club venture will go well. Then I takes me some acid and DXM and XTC and get on stage, remove my cloths, an scream "MUJERES...MUJERES" til the bouncer brings me a bucket o' KFC and tell the hottest stripper in da place to give me a free BBBJCIM.

Wait... Was this what we did in real life or a dream? 'Cos what I did in real life was way crazier.

I'll usually stick it out and see what happens. Sometimes it just isn't working, and I'll bail after 30 minutes if I don't see anything to my liking, or there are no dancers working the floor or the stage. But I don't think that I've ever turned & burned.

Candy flip?

I learned early on that often the more unattractive dancers stalk the door so that they are the first ones to approach you, sometimes attacking before you've even cleared the doorway. And they can be difficult to get rid of once they latch on. That is really the only scenario that will have me turn right back around and leave.

I find that my rating of a club is impacted by if I find that special dancer that night. In my reviews, I have sometimes rated a club higher because I had a good time with a dancer. That girl will influence you about that club. Likewise I will rate a club lower if I only get dances from less that ideal girls.

As for staying around fro a while, the door fee plays a role in how long I stay. I figure that I stay for a while to try to re-coop my $.

There was a small rural club recently (that I reviewed) that when I walked in there were no customers visible. Not a good sign. The door guy was trying to get $10 out of me to walk in. But I always feel strange when there are only a few guys in a club. So I decided not to wait around for people to show up, so I left.

When I do a club tour in a new area I usually give at least 30 min to an hour. But that can vary to less than ten minutes usually when I think safety may be a problem or there are no dancers on the floor and none come out after I sit down.

I only bail on a new club right away if the entire lineup is fat and/or ugly. If the strippers are even halfway hot, i'll stick around and see what kinda trouble I can get in to.
There are some clubs I go to where I know they are hit or miss. If its a miss night, I wouldn't even stay 5 minutes.