Q for Guys Looking for A Girlfriend in a Strip Club

The way I heard it, Clifbar goes to strip clubs looking to pick up men so he can tounge their hairy scrotums and polish his teeth with the jizz!

What about the deep french kissing?

Do you enjoy this?

RL and davids you are! Report back to us on how many of the "girls" you DEEP FRENCH KISSED.

Who is doing this?

davids you might consider trying a TV/TS club... Probably more your speed.

OK, Ok, OK......

I'm DESPERATE, buying dancers' drinks for conversation with the dancers, hoping for a friend, buying lap dances because I'm desperate to have great times!!!!!!!

OK, Ok, OK......

I'm DESPERATE, buying dancers' drinks for conversation with the dancers, hoping for a friend, buying lap dances because I'm desperate to have great times!!!!!!!

Do you think most of the poeple who go the clubs dumb or clueless or uneducated or brainless?

Most of the people who go to the clubs know what they're looking for. Just want to have good to great times.

Your question is silly and meaningless.

Ask questions which make sense. Be a gentleman.

The party I belong to advocates "resettling" all subhumans (like parodyman) outside of the country.

That would be a left leaning leftist. Anything but a libertarian or capitalist.

I know what party davids belongs to --- (wait for it) --- THE BOTTOM FEEDING COCKMASTER FORTUNE TELLERS OF AMERICA! He dosen't lean left. He dosen't lean right. He does however BEND OVER TO GRAB HIS OWN ANKLES.

I can't even figure out what the republicans consistently stand for. I guess pro-life and intelligent design and christianity, sort of. I think they you used to sort of be about economic conservativism, but now they just spend like their is no tommorow and give money to everyone and every war in sight. Lately they seem to be anti-civil liberties and pro-imperialist.

So I guess their opposite, would be an anti-christian, captialist. A libertarian perhaps?

Wait then you're independent right? I am as far on the opposite end of the spectrum from Republican as one can get.

davids do you come from Russia? You don't seem to understand sarcasm very well.

I am indeed Russian.

I am on here when I am playing chess or blackjack online. Which is, indeed, admittedly probably more than I should.

Since when I have been consistent? I say it doesn't make sense to argue with an idiot than I go ahead and do so.

davids do you live on this site? You seem to be on here almost every time I am lately.

To answer your question: Yeah, I still collect numbers then don't call. Since when did I say I was nice?

Dude, I thought you had me on me on "ignore". Did I "get out of jail free"?

so davids, are you still asking for strippers phone numbers and then not calling them? That is so nice of you.

This is a bit of a tangent but I hafta know. davids are you a Republican? I get the feeling you would be because you love to judge others and point out their mistakes and true desires instead of letting others be. I could be wrong.

No, I'm not a republican. How about you?

But I think I just realized something: Perhaps AN is right and really does not want to date a stripper. Well he really does witness his guilt and the fact that he more or less already has. What he really doesn't want to do is really date one. He already lies to his mother (and people on the internet) about being a professor of an anonymous physical science when he is merely a bartender. He does feel guilty about it. What if he were to date a stripper? What would he tell his mother and his "academic colleagues"? Perhaps his superinflated view of himself in his own mind (I am really a professor even though I don't know godel's theorem or what a turing award is and I go to church) would be lowered. Pretty funny considering he is one of these types who claim not "give a fuck" what other people think of him.

I must also admit that I know a couple of other guys who go to Rick's like me to just be friends with the strippers: they don't girls drinks and don't buy lap dances. Do the dancers think they are creepy? No at all. In fact, these two others guys are good friends with many outside of work. How could that happen if they are being creepy? Nice theory of yours but little correspondence w/ reality. As usual.

Ah, the "just creepy" thing indicates to me that it was your guilt about dating strippers and hence your customer/potential suitor ambiguity that was the problem. I think if you could work out these guilt issues of yours things might work out better for you. Good luck!

AN: Sorry, AN, but when you did your survey of strip club habits: You remember that long questionaire, you admitted to both seeking it out sex and having it just happen. So much for you being honest.

(I also know that you contradicted yourself about claiming to be a computer geek, I am thinking of writing a little script to generate an archive of all the accessible posts ever made here.)

But here are a couple of further questions to ask yourself:

1) Thinking back on the course of your hobby, which do you value more: The paid for fun you had, or the "genuine friendships" and times you did have sex w/ strippers w/o paying?
2) Do you think it possible, in the future, that you could form genunine friendships with strippers you really liked again, and have unpaid for sex? What if you made it your objectives, would the frequency increase or decrease?

Oh, and just to clarify davids, I don't have strip club problems, I keep things in perspective. The only unhappy outcomes I've had with the strippers I've met is when things went OTC and involved sex. You will say that is because I was a customer first. I ask why on earth would I go to a stripclub if I weren't a customer? That's just creepy.

RL, Yes, I knew their real names. Yes, I had their phone numbers. I never used them for the aforementioned reasons. I did not ask, they offered. I spent time with some of them OTC, but it was never more than a drink or dinner after their shift. That was my choice.

davids, I am very honest and clear with myself, and with you. You simply choose not to believe me since it contradicts your favorite theories and your version of "truth". I do not and did not seek friendships in the clubs, or sex, or girlfriends. In a very few rare cases they happened. I did not blame things not working out well after sex on meeting in a strip club. That is your interpretation which is not based on anything I said.

I've been very clear ytour advice is worthless because you ascribe to me motives and goals I do not have. I don't know how much more simply I can put it. I DO NOT WANT TO DATE STRIPPERS. If you choose to believe otherwise I can't help that. You apparently are unable to cope with the possibility that someone somewhere in the world may have a different outlook on stripclubs, or life in general.

To "Abbienormal" - "A few times I have met strippers ITC whom I genuinely liked and considered real friends"

If they are REAL FRIENDS of yours who you "GENUINELY LIKED" - Did you ASK any of them for their REAL NAMES or PHONE NUMBERS did you EVER spend any time with ANY of them OUTSIDE THE CLUB for FREE?

davids, I'll say it one more time, with no hope that it'll do any more good this time, but what the hell. Your problem on this board is that you don't believe anybody could have motivations or goals different from yours. I want to go to a stripclub for some fun. I don't want to date the strippers or take them home and fuck them (well I do, but only in the fantasy sense). I want to buy drinks, flirt with, and grope a hot looking woman, then go home. When I go home I don't have to worry about what she thinks of me, when I'll see her again, how long to wait to call, or any of that crap. I had a completely self contained good time. To have that good time I need to spend money. Strippers do not give lapdances for free in the clubs.

Now let me recap. I do not want OTC meetings or sex or dates or friendship with strippers. I want to see them naked and grope them. To do this in the club costs money, and since I get something I want for my money I am happy to give it to them. These are not your goals. I know this because you have explained ad nauseum that your goal is to go to a club, spend virtually no money, and get dates with the strippers. Good luck to you.

Now, given that my goals are entirely different than yours any advice you have for me must take that into consideration. In short, your advice on how to score with strippers is useless to me because I am not trying to score with strippers. If I were trying to build a birdhouse and you came along with plans for a coffee table and started insisting I was doing everything wrong, what would you expect? Yet as many times as I and others try to explain this to you you keep insisting that no, we're trying to build a coffee table and we haven't a clue how to do it. I just want to build my birdhouse and discuss the best way to make a birdhouse with others interested in birdhouses. You won't let us do this without telling us that we will never make a decent coffee table the way we're doing things.

Your next argument will be that based on our statements we obviously want sex OTC and friendship from strippers because we talk about it. Well yes, in a decade of going to clubs I have hooked up a few times. It was not my plan, it just kind of happened. At the time it was exciting, fun, all of that, but it didn't end particularly well and I don't really want to do it again. A very few times I've given in and done something I am generally against doing, that's part of being human. It does not reveal anything deeper in my desires or psyche other than I will give into temptation like many others. A few times I have met strippers ITC whom I genuinely liked and considered real friends. I enjoyed their company and friendship, but it was not something I planned or went looking for, it is something that happens occasionally when people spend time with each other, regardless of where they meet. They also considered me a friend, but given the nature of where and how we met I was never comfortable taking things OTC. It's the nature of the beast. Much as you like or want to trust someone you have to hold out the possibility that they are not who they seem. If we'd met at a church social or through mutual friends it might be different, but the fact that we met at a place where she tries to get money and some men try to get sex has to influence the way you see things.

Is being this upfront a good idea or not?

I think it's pretty clear what AN's strip club problems are and I am sure there are many like him across the country:

He is either dishonest to himself or at the minimum unclear what his objectives are and hence is not implementing a very effective strategy to acheive them.

He admits to meeting strippers he genuinely liked as real friends and a couple he even had sex with. Yet he feels guilty about it and also admits that things did not work out well after the sex. He blames this on meeting them a strip club. However, I do not think that is what the real problem is:

One of the real problems is that he started off as a customer, hence the awkwardness and determental effect on the relationship. Also although he admits he enjoyed his "relationships" and friendships he nows feels guilty about seeking them out.

I think a better strategy for him, and the countless men like him across the nation, is to simply not feel guilty about looking for relationships/friendships/(free) sex in a strip club. Also to not confuse the strippers as to whether you are there as a customer or have other objectives. So go into strip clubs and when asked why say you are "there to make friends, find a girlfriend", and then act consistent with this statement. You may be surprised at the results.

Why not try that one for a while, AN, and see if things work out better for you. Also if you have any more questions, please don't feel afraid to post: RL and I are here to help out men like you. Good luck.