Another Tale From The Far North

farmerart
The drug testers showed up unannounced at my exploration camp earlier today. This is an intrusive invasion into the guys' privacy (and mine too) but I am way cool with the testing. When the girls (and it is ALWAYS girls) show up you must piss in a bottle immediately when they ask you. There is no privacy. The girl must see the urine flow from your dick as it fills the sample bottle. If you can't do it at that particular moment you must remain in the girl's sight until the urine flows.

I would wager that these girls have seen many many more dicks than any Detroit lifer-stripper.

12 comments

Latest

motorhead
12 years ago
The "new normal" for the unemployment rate in US is going to be around 8 to 9 percent. It used to be that 5% was the bottom floor - anything under that was really "unemployable".

With mandatory drug screening, I think the floor will be about 8.5%.

In several articles I've read in trade journals, Human Resource managers in the Great Lakes region simply cannot find enough quality workers for entry level labor positions. For every 100 applicants, 50 are immediately out because they can't pass the drug test. And these are people that *know* they're going to be tested and still fail.
vincemichaels
12 years ago
Gee, Art, what a great way to show off the big one. LOL
Stiletto25
12 years ago
Hehe. Cant they just take it and measure the temperature? I had no idea there were instances where someone had to stand there and watch.
farmerart
12 years ago
Ah, stiletto, you wouldn't believe the schemes concocted in the past to get around the testing system.

Because much of oil and gas drilling in Canada takes place in isolated frontier conditions my industry decided to make the testing system as simple and as fool-proof as possible. The system has industry-wide approval and support; much less so among the industry's employees. Simply put; if an employee objects to being tested - fine, head down the road and find a $150k job somewhere else and good luck to you.

For employers there is simply no choice. Opt out of testing and insurance will probably be impossible to find. No sane person operates a company in my industry without insurance.
Ermita_Nights
12 years ago
I'm glad I live in the Land of the Free. I'd have to be pretty desperate to take a job that requires drug testing.
farmerart
12 years ago
@Ermita_Nights,

This IS an issue of individual rights. The right of all members of a drilling crew to work in an exceedingly dangerous environment comfortably knowing that impairment of a fellow crew member is not going to be a hazard.
Otto22
12 years ago
I agree with Art that drug tests are necessary. What affronts me is the requirement to urinate in front of a person of the opposite sex. Imagine the hew and cry if the genders were reversed.
shadowcat
12 years ago
I was subjected to random drug testing for 20+ years until I retired and was tested about 15 times. I never objected to it but I would object to being tested without privacy. There is no reason why a portable testing booth could not be used out in the boon docks.
txtittyfan
12 years ago
They need to join a union. The nerve of a company to expect its workers to be free of work debilitating substances and to hold employees responsible for their actions.
looneylarry
12 years ago
Doesn't the stream turn to an icicle before it hits the bottle? And what about the embarrassing shrinkage as you stand there on the tundra?
jester214
12 years ago
All the random drug tests I've ever taken only one did they really watch every other time they've just tested temperature. Funnily enough the one time was actually my first time, was only 17 or 18 and she was good looking. That was an awkward experience.
vincemichaels
12 years ago
I wish that when you are told to take a physical beforehand, you would be informed that you had to provide a urine sample. Far too many times, I would take a piss prior to showing up and then be informed they needed a urine sample.
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