Here is another thing you can blame on the government. :)

shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
The Top Ways We Injure Our Genitals.

Data just published in the Journal of Urology considers a decade of genitourinary injuries in American adults -- trauma that's "remarkable given its uniquely sensitive nature and possible reproductive consequences." Researchers at UCSF looked a national sample of emergency room visits tied to the (mis)use of consumer products, conducted by the U.S. Consumer Products Safety Commission, with the goal of understanding how such injuries might be prevented.

Since 2002, the number of incidences has remained more or less steady at about 16,000 per year. Here are the biggest things to watch out for, based on number of adults who report to U.S. emergency rooms with these injuries each year:
1.Bicycles (1,212)
2.Razors, scissors and clippers (1,089)
3.Zippers (951)

4.Bathroom falls and mishaps (818)

5.Basketball (309)

6.Baseball and softball (240)
7.Skiing and snowboarding (182)

The injuries occurred with more frequency during summer months. And as might be imagined just from the list, men accounted for two-thirds of the E.R. visits. But women weren't exempt -- the number of infections and lacerations related to trimming and shaving increased five-fold from 2002 to 2010.

The database is open to the public and includes the attending physician's notes, describing how the injuries occurred. Creatively repurposed, they can also serve as useful cautionary tales -- an answer to the authors' call for "simple preventative measures." A few examples:

•VAGINAL INJURY FROM SLIPPING AND HIGH HEEL SHOE WENT INTO VAGINA.
•5YOM WAS PLAYING WITH FIRECRACKER (TYPE P) & IT WENT UP HIS SHORTS & BURNED HIM.
•PT WAS SWINGING HAMMER AND HIT SELF IN GROIN
•AT A CLUB LAST NIGHT AND FELL OFF A SPEAKER LANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE SPEAKER, BRUISING R LABIA
•18 PT WAS AT A PARTY DANCING AND WAS ACCIDENTLY KNEED IN THE PENIS BY DANCE PARTNER CONTUSION PENIS

Other things to look out for are falling toilet seats, irritative soaps, or the variety of things that can go wrong "when trying to jump or step over a chair."

7 comments

Latest

Alucard
12 years ago
How is the government responsible for clumsy or irresponsible people hurting themselves or being hurt by someone else?
gatorfan
12 years ago
shoe in the vagina is plain wrong
Ermita_Nights
12 years ago
I'm surprised injuries related to sexual activities aren't on the list. Maybe it's a separate category.
motorhead
12 years ago
My neighbor, Claude Baulze, wants to know where cats rank on the list?
zipman68
12 years ago
If "shoe in the vagina is plain wrong" then what is sharpie in the pooper? If a hot girl with a sharpie in the pooper is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Tiredtraveler
12 years ago
Read the Darwin Awards this is simply cleansing the gene pool of stupid people.
txtittyfan
12 years ago
Found on a blog:

There are so many laws and safeties, that it seems nearly impossible to have an accident. The problem though, is that we need accidents, and lots of them.

Danger is nature's way of eliminating stupid people. Without safety, stupid people die in accidents. Since the dead don't reproduce, our species effectively becomes more intelligent (or at least, less stupid).

With safety in place, no matter how well intentioned it may be, we are devolving into half-witted mutants, because idiots (who by all rights should be dead) are freed to go out and breed even more imbeciles.

Let's do away with safety and improve our species. Run with scissors; play with blasting caps; jaywalk; go swimming after a very large meal; stick something in your ear. Do all of these things and do them with gusto;

Future generations will thank you!

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