Douchebag Reviews
jerikson40
New York
Okay, anyone who has read the reviews here for any length of time has seen their share of useless commments. But for me there are a few that stand out in the hall of fame of douchebag comments:
"I paid her a Franklin/Benjamin": Okay, I get it, you're being super secret to LE doesn't arrest you. Smart. BUT ANYONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT IS !!! Except the guys who are reading the reviews and have to reach into their wallet cuz they can't remember what is on the bills. How freakin' annoying!!!
"If you know what I mean/catch my drift": The king of douchebag comments. Yes, we get it, you came. SO SAY IT !!!
"Chairs are uncomfortable": Who the fuck cares? It's a strip club. What do you expect?
"Staff was wonderful/personable, so tip them well": The most obvious shill comment. Who gives a fuck about the staff?
"The 'pours' are great": Yeah, I get it. The bartender puts liquor in the drink. It just sounds stupid.
"Great pole work": Again, nobody gives a shit about pole work.
"Her name is Cr***al or G*ina": Dude, any moron with half a brain can figure out it's Crystal and Gina. Are you freakin' serious? That's supposed to be super secret and crafty??
"The club was attractive/unpretentious/nice decor": Again, nobody gives a shit about how elegant the club appears.
"Went with my wife": Okay, if that's the case, don't even bother writing a review, because it will be useless.
"Didn't partake": Okay, so why the hell did you go to the club and write a review if you didn't partake?
"I paid her a Franklin/Benjamin": Okay, I get it, you're being super secret to LE doesn't arrest you. Smart. BUT ANYONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT IS !!! Except the guys who are reading the reviews and have to reach into their wallet cuz they can't remember what is on the bills. How freakin' annoying!!!
"If you know what I mean/catch my drift": The king of douchebag comments. Yes, we get it, you came. SO SAY IT !!!
"Chairs are uncomfortable": Who the fuck cares? It's a strip club. What do you expect?
"Staff was wonderful/personable, so tip them well": The most obvious shill comment. Who gives a fuck about the staff?
"The 'pours' are great": Yeah, I get it. The bartender puts liquor in the drink. It just sounds stupid.
"Great pole work": Again, nobody gives a shit about pole work.
"Her name is Cr***al or G*ina": Dude, any moron with half a brain can figure out it's Crystal and Gina. Are you freakin' serious? That's supposed to be super secret and crafty??
"The club was attractive/unpretentious/nice decor": Again, nobody gives a shit about how elegant the club appears.
"Went with my wife": Okay, if that's the case, don't even bother writing a review, because it will be useless.
"Didn't partake": Okay, so why the hell did you go to the club and write a review if you didn't partake?
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25 comments
Give it a rest, 'K?
LOL
So I don't dislike him at all. In fact, I'm kinda fond of the guy. Like a little puppy nipping at my heels.
Especially the last one. That annoys me too.
So I try to get what information I can from each review and try to give people as much leeway as possible.
Shill reviews are another problem.
You are just going to have to get used to fact that you cannot control what people on the Internet say, and they will do it for their own reasons, not because they think first "now how should I write my post to make jestie the happiest do he doesn't start PMS'ing again".
Again, show what you do beyond whine about how you don't like stuff others post and take your lame potshots at them.. (If your passive-aggrssive brain is too dumb to figure out how to use "ignore" start a thread and I'm sure others will be more than happy to help you out.) u
Until then continue your endless whining, it's what you best (actually your only thing), we would expect nothing less, or even nothing else from you.
If I have to put up with your idiotic banter and college level analysis, instead of discussing strip clubs, at least you give me a laugh while you do it.
And I guess around here when you criticize it makes some guys all cranky, like they haven't had their nap.
Um, guys, y'know it might be better for your health and stuff if you try this:
Learn to laugh at yourself, and not take everything so, y'know, serious. I freely admit I've made douchebag comments in reviews before. No big deal. See, I didn't explode by admitting I'm human.
Try it. See if you explode.
"If you know what I mean/catch my drift": Agreed, kinda see below about google though.
"Chairs are uncomfortable": I do. I also care if they are obviously nasty.
"Staff was wonderful/personable, so tip them well": I also care about the non stripper staff - being told to tip is just fucking stupid/obvious though.
"The 'pours' are great": Agreed.
"Great pole work": I don't care, but others do.
"Her name is Cr***al or G*ina": You said it, anyone reading it knows what it means - the poster may be trying to keep the review out of a Google search for "<dancer name> <club name> <sex act>"
"The club was attractive/unpretentious/nice decor": Again, I do.
"Went with my wife": Useless for you maybe, but what about the guys thinking of bringing their wives?
"Didn't partake": This is why I really responded. I don't go to clubs for extras. I've "partaken" enough to have a strong sense of the legitimacy of the offer. I recognize a lot of folks go for this reason and look at reviews to identify potential. If I'm at a club and am greater than 95% certain those services were available, I'm inclined to indicate that in the review with the disclaimer that I didn't do it - so the reader knows its not 100%. Similarly, if I get the impression nothings available I'll make that known too.
Lets take an example, I go to Club A and get 20 offers - 18 of them give me the impression they are legit. I accept zero and make no mention of that in my review. If you're looking for extra, wouldn't you want to know its probably available? Similarly, if I go to Club B and see camera's in every room, a 3 man team watching the cameras and a 6 minute security rotation through all the "private" area's - wouldn't you want to know extra's probably aren't available there? I didn't partake or try to partake, but putting that into the review means patrons can make an "informed" decision, even if the information is only in the 90% certainty range.
But if you don't, why do you go to a club? Well, to watch pretty girls, I suppose. So what's there to review? Not a lot, IMO. The review comes down to "Yeah, the girls are hot/not hot, and the club is decent". And that's about it. Which is fine, but do we really need a review for that? Especially when 20 different guys will give 25 different views on whether the girls are hot, and none will agree.
Now, if you say "every time I go there a dancer reaches inside my shorts", then BAM !!! that says it all. Cameras, security, etc., all become non-issues, and if you're looking for some sort of action, you know right away. Hints about stuff like this are useless. Because there's a very wide variation in dancer and club attitudes about mileage. As we all know, lap dancers can either try to get you off, or not try. And that is a HUGE difference in your experience. And you'll never know about any of that if the reviewer just says "I went in, the girls were pretty, but I didn't partake".
But anyway, yeah, if you're not there for dances or extras or anything like that, and just want to go to a club for a drink and watch pretty girls, then "didn't partake" is, I suppose, a useful comment.