A Strip Club Primer

There's a scene in the classic musical "The Sound of Music" where Julie Andrews is sitting with the Von Trapp children when she uncovers a deep, dark secret about these kids: They (gasp!) don't know how to sing! How could they not know even the basics of such an enjoyable activity that has brought so much joy to millions of people?

So to get them up to speed at quickly as possible, she started at the very beginning. Since her technique worked so well, I thought I would try the same method to bring our strip club rookies up to speed.

Doe, a deer....no. Dough is cash. Bring lots of it.

Ray, a drop of golden sun. Start your serious clubbing during the sunny daytime. Less frat boy parties. Higher mileage at lower cost in general.

Me, a name I call myself. That's fine. But forget solo "me" sex. Hit a strip club.

Far, a long, long way to run. Don't hesitate to drive a long distance in search of the perfect club.

Sew, a needle pulling thread. Tell that dancer what you would like to have pulled.

La, a note to follow sew. La is a common Spanish word. Learn some Spanish and hit Tijuana for mucho cheapo funno.

Tea, I drink with jam and bread. Avoid too much alcohol. Don't drink and
drive. Drink ice tea.

That brings us back to doe. Leave when you run out of dough. Don't use credi cards.

Do re mi fa so la ti do