Strippers in Public
jerikson40
New York
Sunday, May 6, 2012 11:22 AM
Okay, here's the deal...
I'm sitting outside at Costco eating a hot dog and drinking a coke. Which is a very good deal. Buck fifty for hot dog and coke. Can't beat it. And the dog is good. Though I wish they'd make longer rolls so they fit the whole dog. That's just the way I am...
But I digress...
So I'm sitting there watching the clientele enter the store and/or wait in line for the food, and it occurs to me that the people who go to Costco are not the best looking people in the world. Not nearly as bad as Wal Mart (those folks are just scary), but maybe a couple notches above. And especially in California, where girls dress for comfort, not for guys. Or to impress other girls. Which sucks. But dressing to impress guys is usually way down on the list, unless they're looking for a husband in a club or something.
Anyway, while I'm eating and watching I'm trying to figure out the odds of a really hot (and hotly dressed) girl showing up at Costco. And I decide that the probability drops exponentially with hotness. Ugly girls are all over the place. Girls who you might stare at, or do a double take on, are very rare. Unless you're an insanely horny SOB who'd do anything on two legs. But I was trying to remember the last time I saw, in a general public setting, the kind of girl who made my jaw drop and caused me to follow her and actually get a boner. So based on many, many years of experience, I concluded that the probability of seeing a boner girl were pretty much zero. Maybe less.
Unfortunately, I couldn't even remember a time when I saw a super hot girl out in public. At all. And I thought that was very, very sad.
Now strippers look good because they have hot outfits, and makeup, and high heels. But 99% of girls don't dress that way. Instead, they wear jeans, and whatever is comfortable. They read fashion magazines, but dress like slobs. They spend tons of money on hair products, but go outside without brushing their hair and look like they just woke up.
And let's face it, the VAST majority of women, without all the makeup and hot clothes, really aren't very attractive. A perfect example is Angelina. Pretty face when she's wearing makeup, but honestly her body is downright scary. Pale, bony, saggy skin, desperately skinny, no waist, arms down to her knees, no butt AT ALL, etc.
But guys go nuts because they think they're supposed to or something. But if she wasn't a movie star, and they saw her in a lineup without clothes and makeup, they'd probably vomit.
Again, I digress. So after eating and not seeing anyone even remotely hot, I go shopping. And about 15 minutes later I see off in the distance, coming towards me down the main isle, behind a family pushing a cart, was a long haired brunette with very fashionable sunglasses, and from what I could tell, she had HUGE fake tits in a very tight white short sleeved t-shirt. I did a double take, and of course the family was blocking my view and I couldn't see what she was wearing on the bottom. Bastards. Anyway, I was mesmerized by what I could see of her tits. So I stopped, hung out by the battery display and waited for her (and her boyfriend) to pass by. Suddenly the traffic cleared and I could see she was wearing an extremely short blue jean skirt, and had AWESOME legs. And she was wearing wooden platform sandals with high heels. My jaw dropped. Now, I'm a leg man, and let me tell you this chick had LEGS. This chick had to be a stripper, and I just hope that someday I find out where she's dancing.
So they're walking towards me, arguing about who was going to push the cart or whatever, and I just stared. And then I followed her. And for the first time in a very long time, I got a boner from just seeing a chick walk around in public. And at one point I even considered asking her if she was a dancer, and if so, where did she dance. Because I REALLY wanted a high mileage lap dance with her, especially so I could slide up in between those titties. But I decided I wouldn't ask since her boyfriend was around. Although that might just be an excuse 'cuz I'm a pussy, who knows.
Anyway, I'm not sure what my point is in all this...I guess just to express my sadness at the lack of hot girls in the world, especially hot girls who dress hot in public so they give guys a boner.
Maybe I should move to Rio de Janiero. Now that's a place where the women are not only insanely hot, but also they like dressing to give men boners.
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
60 comments