I Go to Strip Clubs because I Hope to Meet Stephen Hawking

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
Here's another story about Stephen Hawking spending time in strip clubs and sex clubs. Could he be a TUSCL member? I vow to continue visiting strip clubs until I meet Hawking. I hope he'll be able to explain to me the nature of time, specifically why time goes by faster in strip clubs and slower at work.

http://www.inquisitr.com/198893/stephen-…

9 comments

  • MADDOG_ROMEO
    13 years ago
    Jslash, lol, who knew he had such an alter ego (aka Stephen Gawking)....
  • Alucard
    13 years ago
    If it is actually true, he'd be the ULTIMATE Look ONLY patron!
  • SnakePlissken
    13 years ago
    I feel sorry for the guy. You know he goes there because that's the closest he will ever get to any sort of physical pleasure with a woman. It's really quite sad.
  • georgmicrodong
    13 years ago
    If there's anyone on the planet who deserves a cure for his affliction, Stephen Hawking is that person.
  • Alucard
    13 years ago
    "I feel sorry for the guy. You know he goes there because that's the closest he will ever get to any sort of physical pleasure with a woman. It's really quite sad"

    He DOES have children.
  • rrbill
    13 years ago
    The most famous great mind to attend strip clubs regularly was Richard Feynman. I believe he ran up great expense accounts around Los Alamos, but hey, A-bombs don't run cheap.
  • SnakePlissken
    13 years ago
    @Alucard. So? He fathered them before his illness destroyed his motor functions.
  • EarlTee
    13 years ago
    "I Go to Strip Clubs because I Hope to Meet Stephen Hawking"

    The first time I read that, I laughed. Then I read it again and threw up a little in my mouth.
  • gatorfan
    13 years ago
    Friday, February 24th 2012
    Stephen Hawking Knows How To Party

    Every once and a while comes a story that is filled with so much wonderful that I have to rub my monitor to make sure my eyes are seeing it right and this is one of those once and a whiles. Radar says that Stephen Hawking regularly takes a break from doing whatever kind of genius stuff he does (I tried to read his Wikipedia page to find out, but my simple brain switched to images of shiny-haired puppies playing in the snow right after I read "theoretical physicist.") to bathe in thrusting chocha at a sex club in California. Devore, California isn't only the place where my cousin got kicked out of a Denny's for drunk barfing into a yellow mop bin on Halloween, it's also the place where Stephen Hawking gets wild with naked hos.

    A member of the Freedom Acres swingers club in Devore, CA tells Radar that 70-year-old Stephen is a regular there and rolls up with an entourage of nurses and assistants. The fat-mouthed source went on to say, "I have seen Steven Hawking at the club more than a handful of times. He arrives with an entourage of nurses and assistants. Last time I saw him he was in the back 'play area' laying on a bed fully clothed with two naked women gyrating all over him. I have spoken to him on several occasions and have even shared drinks with people in his group. And he'll even take photos with people in the club as long as it's in a neutral area."

    Stephen Hawking was already a beacon of inspiration, but now he's a constellation of inspiration after reading this story. Because no matter what happens, we'll never lose our need for peen (or poon, in this instance). Get your Big Bang on, Stephen!
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