14 years ago

You're gonna die.

A BRITISH tourist was bitten "down under" by a killer snake while answering a call of nature in the bush.

The reptile sunk its fangs into Jackson Scott's testicle as he squatted in the dark.

But when he begged best mate Roddy Andrews to suck the venom out, his pal refused, reports The Sun.

Instead he drove Jackson on a 40-minute life-or-death dash to Hobart where doctors gave him an antidote to the deadly tiger snake poison.

Musician Jackson, 29, of Glasgow, said: "I went into the garden at four in the morning after a night in the pub to save flushing the toilet because water is precious in the outback.

"Just as I finished and was about to tuck everything safely away, it bit me. I had my pants around my knees when I hobbled into Roddy's bedroom. My heart was racing and I was hallucinating.

"Needless to say, Rod was not of a mind to suck out the poison."

Jackson, starting a year's working holiday at the remote farm, added: "The doctors and nurses were very professional. They didn't take the mickey out of me being bitten on my wedding tackle."

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bang69

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14 years ago

I have done what this guy did & have never been bittn. he should have used the toilet.

gatorfan

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14 years ago

There were these three guys named Rick, Bob and Tom, who were really good friends. One day they went out after just getting paid, having a few drinks together, as usual, when Rick says to the boys, "Hey man, lets do something different for a change. I'm getting horny and I heard about this place down the road. Let's check it out."

So the 3 men agreed and jumped in Rick's pick-up.

When they got there, they noticed there was a sign on the door that said "Blow Jobs for $5, $10, & $15".

So Bob not having too much extra cash to spend said, "I'll go first for 5 dollars to see if it's worth it."

He goes up to the door and knocks, pulls out his 5 dollar bill and then enters the building. He was gone about 10 minutes when he comes back out of the door with a big 'ol grin on his face.

Seeing this Tom says, "Damn man, how was it?"

Bob said "That was the best damn blow job I ever had! I'll never forget it!."

So Tom said "Well, if it was that good, I'm a pay ten dollars!"

He goes up to the door and knocks, pulls out his ten dollar bill and then enters the building. He was gone about 30 minutes when he comes back out of the door with a big 'ol smile on his face.

Rick seeing this says, "Damn man, how was it?"

Tom said "That was the best damn blow job I ever had! I'll never forget it! She put whip cream around my dick with a cherry on top! Best damn blow job I ever had!"

Rick said "Well damn, if it was that good, I'm a pay fifteen dollars!"

So he goes up to the door and knocks, pulls out his fifteen dollars, and enters the building. He was gone about an hour when he comes back out of the door with a grin on his face from ear to ear.

Bob now having composed himself, saw this, and said "Damn man, how was it?"

Rick said "That was the best damn blow job I ever had! I'll never forget it! She put whip cream around my dick, put a cherry on top, and that son of a bitch looked so damn good, I ate it myself!"

You're gonna die.

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