Twas the night before Christmas and.....

'Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house The whole damn family was drunk as a louse Grandma and Grandpa were singing a song And the kid was in bed flogging his dong

Ma, home from the cat house, and me out of jail Had just crawled into bed for a nice piece of tail When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash Threw open the shutters and fell on my ass The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow Gave a whore-house-like luster to the objects below

When what to my blood shot eyes should appear But a rusty old sleigh and two mangy reindeer With a little old driver a pounding his dick I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick

Slower than snails his reindeer they came He bitched and he swore as he called them by name Now Dancer, now Prancer, up over the walls Quick now, damn it, or I'll cut out your balls.

Then up to the roof he stumbled and fell And came down the chimney like a bat out of hell He staggered and stomped and went to the door Tripped on his peter, and fell on the floor

I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight: Piss on you all, this is a hell of a night.

Have a good one y'all