tuscl

Naive strip club staff

Thursday, August 17, 2006 8:17 AM
Last night at Dancers Showclub in Indy, I had several bizarre experiences that made me feel totally out of sync with two members of the staff. When my waitress approached me, I ordered a cocktail with Tanqueray gin. She asked me to say the name three times, particularly slowly the last time. I asked if she had ever heard of it, and she said she hadn't. She seemed very dubious about its existence, but I assured her the bartender would know what I was talking about. When she came back with my drink, I asked her if the bartender knew what I had been asking for. She might have been the subject of a little fun at the bar, since she rolled her eyes and very sheepishly said, "Yes." We then had to settle the tab. The drink was $6. She took my $20, stood there with her head cocked to one side for about fifteen seconds and said, "How much do I owe you back?" She couldn't decide if it was fourteen or fifteen dollars. We discussed subtraction, number placement, etc. Later, I was getting some privates from the most attractive girl in the club. She seemed to shy away from my sleeves, and I realized she was getting caught on my cufflinks, so I took them off. She got wide-eyed and said, "you didn't have to pull them off." I asked her what she was talking about, and she said, "your buttons--you didn't have to pull them off." I held up a cufflink to her face, and she told me that she didn't know what is was. I unfolded the cuff of my sleeve, and showed her that nothing had to be torn off--she thought that I had torn the cuff buttons off of my shirt, as she had never seen French cuffs before. Well, the evening offered a lengthening experience to me, so hopefully it was a broadening experience to some of the staff.

23 comments

  • FONDL
    18 years ago
    Minnow, can you leave your pants there too to be pressed while you're in the VIP room? Now that I'd be willing to pay for.
  • Book Guy
    18 years ago
    Just take the drink and walk away. If they refuse valid US currency, isn't there some law about that meaning that it's free? Heck, if that's not the law, just tell her it is. Her manager will no doubt be happy to visit you at your table quite soon to discuss the matter further ...
  • Book Guy
    18 years ago
    I'm pretty happy with my (work) attire, too. I do wear cufflinks sometimes -- although I still take them off and put them in my pocket and then roll my sleeves up whenever I go to the restroom! And I don't wear them on a "casual" evening, such as one when I'd go to a strip club. I don't enjoy wearing shorts to a strip club; my usual is a very silky-feeling (probably some form of rayon or polyester, with a medium silk or wool content) and baggy (pleats, very draped) cut pants. "Trousers" of the zoot-suit style. And a button-down shirt of some sort. It leaves room for wiggle and expansion during grindage, looks classier. I don't think I could wear "pimp" style. But I do regularly get judged to be 10 years younger than I am, as well. It is about wardrobe to a great degree. Attitude, too. Smile! Don't gain a lot of weight in your face, too; that is a killer for appearance as well, though nobody can choose where their weight appears at will. And to an earlier comment, no, I don't think it's about "impressing" the dancers, if what you're after is customer-to-provider relations of a monetary sort (whether regular or extra-curricular). If that's what you want, and nothing more, then all you need to do is bare minimum "decency" -- polite, clean, mature and responsible, sober -- and have the money and make sure she knows you'll spend it on her. But if you want "more" -- perhaps more personable service than she would normally provide; or actually MORE levels of service-for-money; or, many men's dream, something OTHER than service-for-money, and in fact interaction without exchange of money -- if you want those things, then "impressing" her is a necessary part of your sales pitch. Only a part, but a necessary part. Just being able to spend, doesn't mean she will want to date you. Just being well dressed won't either. But if you aren't, she's less likely to.
  • minnow
    18 years ago
    FONDL: For places that offer shoeshines, some are on main floor, but often bathroom troll doubles as shoeshiner. At some clubs, you can drop shoes off there, and be provided with flexible slippers to walk around in( I'd rather be on the floor looking at dancers than sitting in mens room getting shoes shined anyday)
  • chandler
    18 years ago
    I've been noticing a lot of cuff links being worn since this discussion. On TV: Jay-Z on an HP commercial, Stephen Colbert, Adrian Brody. I think you're in safe company fashion-wise, Chitown. I think what gives cuff links their image is their very impracticality. For example, if you can't easily write while wearing them, you must give dictation. That's true of a lot of "snooty" fashion items.
  • chandler
    18 years ago
    Beware of the brown shoe polish.
  • FONDL
    18 years ago
    Minnow, a shoeshine guy in the rest room? I've never seen that, nor do I want to. You must go to much fancier clubs than I ever do.
  • minnow
    18 years ago
    CTL- Just goes to show that supposedly sophisticated places can be simpletons. Waitress probably accustomed to uncalled mixed drinks, and 2 or 3 called beers. A few yrs. back, I went into a fairly new high end So. Fla. club, bartender didn't know how to make a stinger. Later, went into restroom to get shoes shined, guy almost put brown shoe polish on my black shoes!!
  • FONDL
    18 years ago
    I think that in most things the taste that you're used to is the one that you will usually prefer. So I always try to develop a taste for things that are inexpensive. What can I say, I'm cheap.
  • chitownlawyer
    18 years ago
    I am hopelessly un-cool, but all dancers seem impressed with my friends Alex, Andy and Ben. I don't understand why...they are much more out-of-date than I am. Hell, Ben is 255 years older than me! But he gets the job done...
  • driver01
    18 years ago
    Hmmm. So the objective is to "impress" a dancer??? And here I thought all along the idea was for a dancer to "impress" ME enough that I might be persuaded to spend my $$ on her. Silly me--lol.
  • Book Guy
    18 years ago
    Shadowcat: agreed, most definitely. The funny thing is, what "impresses" a dancer is often what I (and other people knowledgeable about current fashion) would probably define as "crappy, cheap, trashy, pimp clothing." So, it all depends on whether you can stand suffering what it takes for what effect -- and whether you need to be seen at work without having a chance to change your duds. :)
  • Book Guy
    18 years ago
    I think another factor here is, as I've mentioned elsewhere, the "mainstream-ization" of gentlemen's clubs. It used to be considered _de_rigeur_ that most waitresses at a Playboy Club in Boston in the 1960s would know, not only, various gin brands, BUT ALSO different pipe and cigar tobaccos, the appropriate wine to drink with pork or viandes or venison, and whether plaids go with checks (in 1968, yes!). Now there's really no set of requirements by which someone is "allowed" to consider herself waitress, or stripper, quality, except for whether or not she's willing and able to put up with the rowdy Saturday midnight college boy clientele. :(
  • chitownlawyer
    18 years ago
    FONDL, I was drinking a gin and tonic. I have a good friend who believes that it is a waste to use an expensive brand of spirits in a cocktail, since the mixer queers any premium taste from the liquor. Could be.
  • chitownlawyer
    18 years ago
    I just cracked open my first bottle of Tanqueray 10. It was one of a gift box of bottles of ten different spirits that a client who owns a chain of liquor stores gave me as sort of a "supplemental fee" in recognition of an unexpectedly good result. I can definitely tell the more fruity taste that regular T., but it seems to work better in a gin and tonic than with vermouth. Bombay Sapphire is my "change of pace" gin. Like Chandler, I thought the brand name "Tanqueray" was almost universally known to be associated with gin, even by those who aren't among the cognescenti, like Barcardi with rum or Stoli with vodka. A high school girlfriend got me wearing French cuffs, as she had some quasi-erotic fetish for them. They are all I wear for business. She also tried to get me onto the "Miami Vice" look of unlined linen jackets, proving that all advice must be closely scrutinized.
  • FONDL
    18 years ago
    None of this surprises me. Kids today just have had a vastly different set of experiences than most of us have. I bet either one of those girls could tell me all kinds of things about drugs that I've never heard of, and they'd find that equally strange. When I pick up a People magazine at the barbershop or doctor's office, I find it amusing that I've never heard of most of the "stars" that are shown. I bet those two girls can identify them all. Chitown, just out of curiousity, what cocktail were you drinking? I used to be a gin drinker but it always seemed to me that unless I was drinking it straight I couldn't tell any difference, so once I learned that I always went with the house brand. For example, it was my experience that the brand and freshness of the tonic had much more impact on the flavor of a G&T than did the brand of gin. Similarly the brand of vermouth and how freshly opened the bottle was had a lot more to do with the flavor of a martini that the brand of gin. In fact I always found it amusing when people paid extra for a Bombay or Tanquerey martini and the bartender added cheap rotgut vermouth which had been opened a month previously. The only place I ever specify brand (Beefeater) is if I order a martini in a very good restaurant. And in case anyone cares, Plymouth Gin is what the fictional character Travis McGee always drank, but you can't get that anymore, it changed many years ago and isn't nearly as good as it was then. Count me among those who have a drawer full of cufflinks and no shirts to wear them with. Nor do I have a suit that fits so who cares, I prefer sport coats anyway.
  • chandler
    18 years ago
    I like how Chitown says the waitress seemed to doubt the very existence of a gin labeled Tanqueray. That's the reaction you often get from ignorant people, like the onus must be on you for having the temerity to mention something beyond their knowledge, even though they must encounter their limits on a regular basis. That must be how they stay so ignorant. BTW, it's not like Tanqueray is some hoary old man's gin. It gets name dropped in rap songs about as much as any brand name.
  • parodyman-->
    18 years ago
    Chitown, Here is a list of some popular gin brands. I guess it is up to the customers to educate bar staff now. 1. Beefeater: The only premium dry gin distillery in London. 2. Beefeater WET: A lighter-tasting gin (70 proof) made with natural pear flavors. 3. Bombay: Made from a well-guarded recipe that dates back to 1761. 4. Bombay Sapphire: Conceived by Michel Roux, when President of Carillon Importers, Sapphire has more natural botanical ingredients than any other gin. 5. Gordon's: First distilled over 225 years ago in London by Alexander Gordon, who pioneered and perfected the making of an unsweetened gin with a smooth character and aromatic flavors known as London Dry. 6. Hendricks: A Scottish gin with juniper, coriander, rose petal, citrus, and an infusion of cucumber. 7. Magelian Gin: A French gin handcrafted in small batches using natural exotic botanicals from aound the globe. 8. Plymouth: Legend has it that a surgeon in the Royal Navy invented this gin to help the sailors make their Angostura bitters more palatable (pink gin). 9. Seagram's Extra Dry: A citrus-tasting golden gin. 10. Tanqueray: Its unique green bottle is said to be inspired by an English fire hydrant. 11. Tanqueray 10: A super premium gin from Tanqueray with a blend of fresh botanicals, including grapefruit and camomile. It's distilled four times. Give this list to the waitress. Tell her to learn it and live it.
  • DandyDan
    18 years ago
    The thing with the waitress doesn't surprise me. The wide variety of alcohol available confuses me, too. I myself get confused beyond "Bud" or maybe "Jack and Coke". And her math skills don't surprise me either. They've been saying our kids math skills suck for years.
  • trojangreg
    18 years ago
    Are you sure you were not in Atlanta?
  • chandler
    18 years ago
    The naive stripper doesn't surprise me. Perhaps the waitress is hoping to become a stripper.
  • chandler
    18 years ago
    I don't wear them anymore for practical reasons, but cuff links are one accessory that is never out of style. If you aren't comfortable wearing them, however, they're going to look silly on you. I used to order Tanqueray and tonic, just cause the name sounds cool and refreshing, and I like the bottle better than Gordon's or Beefeater. I doubt if my palate would detect the difference.
  • FONDL
    18 years ago
    Chitown, if you're getting fresh tonic from a bottle you may be able to tell the difference between some gins and others. But in most clubs that I've seen they use those annoying dispensers and you're just as likely to get half or all club soda. That's when I think expensive gins are especially a waste of money. I never developed the cuff link habit because my work always involved a lot of writing, and trying to write wearing cufflinks is a pain, both literally and figuratively. Now that it's all computers mabye I'd feel differently, except that in my industry nobody ever dresses that fancy anymore. But I agree that they look nice.
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