tuscl

Mile high club?

shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
Monday, May 23, 2011 2:18 PM
MAY 23--In another repulsive in-flight episode, a Florida man was arrested last Thursday by the FBI after he allegedly “masturbated to the point of ejaculation” while traveling on a United Airlines flight en route to Colorado, The Smoking Gun has learned. Kyle Pearce, 25, was busted after United Airlines Flight 340 arrived in Denver from Spokane, Washington, according to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Martin Daniel. Pearce, pictured at right, was named in a May 20 misdemeanor criminal complaint charging him with making an “obscene and indecent exposure of his person” on an aircraft. As detailed by Daniel, an 18-year-old woman told investigators that she was seated in row 18 next to Pearce, who was in an aisle seat. “I sat next to a man on a plane who was masterbating [sic]. I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis,” the teenager recalled in a written statement. She added, “He ejaculated & got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time.” The woman reported that Pearce was wearing jeans tucked into cowboy boots, introduced himself as Kyle, and said he was connecting on to Orlando, Florida. Pearce's MySpace page describes him as a junior college student who has been a bull rider for eight years. A passenger seated directly behind Pearce, 18-year-old Grayson Miller, recalled that, “My friend Zach turned to me and said, ‘That man is masturbating' and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis and he was.” In his written statement, Miller reported that, “I hit him with my book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom” in the Airbus A319. During a brief appearance Friday in U.S. District Court in Denver, a magistrate judge ordered Pearce held in custody until a preliminary hearing scheduled for 2:30 this afternoon. Court records do not include the name of Pearce's attorney. If convicted of the airborne incident, Pearce faces a maximum of 90 days in jail and a year of supervised release. He can also be fined up to $5000. The plane within which Pearce is said to have pleasured himself bears tail number N843UA. Since the May 19 incident, the aircraft has crisscrossed the country during 12 flights, and is currently en route to San Diego from Washington, D.C.. Presumably, evidence of the alleged crime has been eliminated by a United cleaning crew.

10 comments

  • samsung1
    13 years ago
    I wonder if drugs/alcohol played a role in this
  • SuperDude
    13 years ago
    Frank Sinatra did NOT sing "Cum, fly with me!"
  • vincemichaels
    13 years ago
    I'm cancelling my ski trip to Colorado !! EEEWWW !!
  • DannyNH
    13 years ago
    Hahahaaha! My two favorite lines: "Pearce’s MySpace page describes him as a junior college student who has been a bull rider for eight years" "Presumably, evidence of the alleged crime has been eliminated by a United cleaning crew."
  • crazyjoe
    13 years ago
    what a dumbass
  • Realist123
    13 years ago
    25yr old man masturbating next to 18yr old woman?? She was obviously jealous of not having it in her mouth and got mad
  • bang69
    13 years ago
    was he stoned,drunk, or just palne stupid
  • troop
    13 years ago
    fly the friendly skies eh?
  • looneylarry
    13 years ago
    Evidently, bull riding is a lonely profession. I thought is goofiest line was: "The plane within which Pearce is said to have pleasured himself bears tail number N843UA." Was that so that you would check the number before you stepped onto any United flight? Also, did the book-hitting cause him to spew? The 18-year-old has visited his myspace page numerous times since then. lol
  • runrdude
    13 years ago
    Like we don't regularly sit on a jizz covered seat.
You must be a member to leave a comment.Join Now
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion