Okay guys, I need some help. Maybe I'm too nice of a guy. How do I get ride of a dancer that doesn't get the hint to go away? I go to one particular club which has some new talent I'd like to sample, but she's on me before I can even order a drink. Needless to say the cold shoulder or short answers don't do it. After about 45 minutes, she finally moves on, but then I'm ready to go. Should I just tell her to beat (pardon the pun) it next time?
She's stayed in the game too long (early 40's and looks it).
Maybe she is attracted to you because she thinks you are playing hard to get with you. Next time act like you are really into her and want to marry her and maybe she will lose that attraction to you.
samsung, Well, that *might* work, but she's more likely to think she's hooked a real PL and cling tighter. :)
dude: Don't be so subtle. Just tell her you're not interested, she's not your type, and that you're not going to buy any dances. If outright rejection doesn't work, get up and move to another table or seat, using a bathroom stop in between if you don't feel comfortable being that obviously a jerk.
When you first arrive select a new dancer you'd like to "sample". If you don't know new dancer's name ask clingy. Then ask clingy to send her over to you.
If clingy doesn't do so immediately, then ask a waitress, dj, bartender to send new dancer over. If need be, get up and walk away from clingy to ask another employee to get new dancer.
You are being too nice. It's irrelevant how long clingy has been dancing or how old she is; she's being rude. If above doesn't work be rude back by getting up and walking away from her.
I recently had a problem myself with a clinger at Henry the VIII South. She told me she was 49. I asked her for a "henry handshake" and she got offended by it. Vincemicheals knows who I am talking about. She is a pest.
I just say, "I'm sorry sweetie, but I'm not looking for company at the moment." If they hesitate, I follow it up by, "But thank you" with a genuine smile and a firm look in their eyes.
Maybe it is the years that I've been doing this, but I no longer have the patience to wait a girl out for a half hour if there is no chance that I will want her for anything.
Yep, that woman is a pest. If I ever remember her name, I'll post it. I've seen her at different Hamilton clubs over the years. What a pain in the ass.
In Key West, the last four times I've stopped in the same club, this one dancer keeps coming up behind me and starting a neck rub. The first three times I told her no when the "Wanna dance?" question came up. This last time, about a week ago, I told her, the answer is still, and will always be the same, NO! Can't wait till my next trip to KW.
RD has it right. The idea is to get her to leave without offending her (too much).
Clubber, that neck massage girl must have relocated from Phoenix. There was a similar girl in a club there, always offering massages for the same price as a lap dance. She claimed to be a professional masseuse. At first, I politely refused, and she still came around; but eventually I told her exactly what I thought (gimme a break!) and she never bothered me again.
had this problem with dancer at Pink Pony in ATL. she used to work at OGE . total pest. would not leave you alone no matter how many times I said NO. finally, had to get rude with her which is something I find distasteful.
Problem is, those that always seem to be the pest type are never ones I would care to spend time with. NOW, if a hot Asian happened to be like that, she couldn't be a pest! :)
Unless I'm interested in a dancer, if one approaches me in the first 30 minutes at a SC, I turn her down saying that I just got there and want to chill for a bit. After 30 minutes, I'll change that to "not right now". Either way, unless there's no way in hell that I'd ever be interested, I'll ask her name. That (a) gives the message that I'm not a complete jerk and (b) gives her the impression of a "maybe later" without me saying it.
If a dancer has plopped herself down uninvited, or if you invited her and then changed your mind, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. If you're gone more than 3 minutes, you can bet the farm she won't be there when you get back. On the off-chance that she is, just sit somewhere else.
Clubber: NOW, if a hot Asian happened to be like that, she couldn't be a pest! :)
BZZZZZZZZ - wrong - thanks for playing. Wrote this a couple years ago about my first visit (and almost last) to a club. The dancer is question was a very hot Asian:
So I'm there for about 30 seconds and a dancer plops down on my lap with the usual SS banter. Offers me a shot, dance, and massage for one price. I said nicely that I wasn't interested yet, as I had just gotten there. She kept pressuring me to the point where I was weighing the pleasure of throwing her off me vs the pain of the bouncer's revenge. Finally she says, "You look bored." I replied, "Maybe I look bored because I've already said 'no' 4 times and you're still asking."
BZZZZZZZZ - You're wrong! You don't know me, not how I would react. If ANY hot Asian stood by me, sat by me, talked to me, and ESPECIALLY sat on my lap, I'm hers! Now that is not to say after a bit I might lose interest, but she might have to be a serial killer for that to happen! :)
Well, Clubber, add a "to me" to the end of your original statement and I'm with ya 110%. ;-) But OMG, I have more distaste for that chick than all the ROBs combined that I've ever encountered.
Since they can't follow you into the crapper, that is usually the easy way to scrape them off. You simply come back in and sit at another table. If they come by and and say something like, "You moved" you say something like "That's right" with a little bit of frost and that usually does the trick.
One problem with the "moving" solution. When I enter a club, I tend to sit in a seat I prefer. That said, why should I move to a seat I didn't care for in the first place? I say it is better just to tell her get lost, or something to that effect! If she is upset, pissed, or whatever, OH WELL!
Clubdude, look back up at what I said before. It almost always works and doesn't require me to go to the bathroom or be too rude. But when it does not work, the next step IS rude.
When you are in a club CONTROL YOUR SPACE. If she needs to be told that she is not your type, and a minute of more polite responses doesn't do it, then tell her that. If she tries to convince you to go to a lapdance by grabbing your package, take her hand off - unless of course the grab changed your mind. ;) If she wants you to buy her a drink and you do not want to, just say no.
My gig involves me being pleasant but firm, and it has been serving me well for some time. Girls are more likely to pull that shit longer when they smell weakness, so the firm part is important. Once you have established that you are in charge of if, and how much, you spend, all good things will eventually follow.
Clubdude, after my sermon above I took at peak at your profile and noticed that you've been kicking around for a while, so excuse the preachy tone. But to answer your question: yes, you are being too nice. Particularly if you are still having this problem after all of your club visits. ;)
Hate to say this (since I'm a dancer myself) but some girls are just plain DUMB. Part of this may be that some clubs hire any girl (and I stress "GIRL") of legal age, and the result is a girl, barely out of diapers who is just plain uneducated on life. Or, yes, there are also many older women who just can't take a hint! I prefer not to waste my time or the costumers, because I am neither young, dumb, or stupid. :) When meeting a new costumer for the first time, my general first response is "Hi there! Are you waiting for someone, or would you like some company?" If they respond they are are waiting for someone, I will offer to go and find the dancer they are there to see and avoid wasting anyones time, while putting myself in a rather good standing with the costumer. This has led to the customer actually coming back to see me!
My advice to the OP is simply tell the dancer very clearly and while looking her in the eye that you are waiting for someone else or simply that you do not want company. You'll avoid hurting her feelings but still get your point across. :)
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dude: Don't be so subtle. Just tell her you're not interested, she's not your type, and that you're not going to buy any dances. If outright rejection doesn't work, get up and move to another table or seat, using a bathroom stop in between if you don't feel comfortable being that obviously a jerk.
If clingy doesn't do so immediately, then ask a waitress, dj, bartender to send new dancer over. If need be, get up and walk away from clingy to ask another employee to get new dancer.
You are being too nice. It's irrelevant how long clingy has been dancing or how old she is; she's being rude. If above doesn't work be rude back by getting up and walking away from her.
Maybe it is the years that I've been doing this, but I no longer have the patience to wait a girl out for a half hour if there is no chance that I will want her for anything.
Clubber, that neck massage girl must have relocated from Phoenix. There was a similar girl in a club there, always offering massages for the same price as a lap dance. She claimed to be a professional masseuse. At first, I politely refused, and she still came around; but eventually I told her exactly what I thought (gimme a break!) and she never bothered me again.
Hey, if anyone is going to get all clingy and be a pest, it's going to be me, lol.
Problem is, those that always seem to be the pest type are never ones I would care to spend time with. NOW, if a hot Asian happened to be like that, she couldn't be a pest! :)
Tootsie's is north to me! :)
If a dancer has plopped herself down uninvited, or if you invited her and then changed your mind, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. If you're gone more than 3 minutes, you can bet the farm she won't be there when you get back. On the off-chance that she is, just sit somewhere else.
BZZZZZZZZ - wrong - thanks for playing. Wrote this a couple years ago about my first visit (and almost last) to a club. The dancer is question was a very hot Asian:
So I'm there for about 30 seconds and a dancer plops down on my lap with the usual SS banter. Offers me a shot, dance, and massage for one price. I said nicely that I wasn't interested yet, as I had just gotten there. She kept pressuring me to the point where I was weighing the pleasure of throwing her off me vs the pain of the bouncer's revenge. Finally she says, "You look bored." I replied, "Maybe I look bored because I've already said 'no' 4 times and you're still asking."
BZZZZZZZZ - You're wrong! You don't know me, not how I would react. If ANY hot Asian stood by me, sat by me, talked to me, and ESPECIALLY sat on my lap, I'm hers! Now that is not to say after a bit I might lose interest, but she might have to be a serial killer for that to happen! :)
One problem with the "moving" solution. When I enter a club, I tend to sit in a seat I prefer. That said, why should I move to a seat I didn't care for in the first place? I say it is better just to tell her get lost, or something to that effect! If she is upset, pissed, or whatever, OH WELL!
When you are in a club CONTROL YOUR SPACE. If she needs to be told that she is not your type, and a minute of more polite responses doesn't do it, then tell her that. If she tries to convince you to go to a lapdance by grabbing your package, take her hand off - unless of course the grab changed your mind. ;) If she wants you to buy her a drink and you do not want to, just say no.
My gig involves me being pleasant but firm, and it has been serving me well for some time. Girls are more likely to pull that shit longer when they smell weakness, so the firm part is important. Once you have established that you are in charge of if, and how much, you spend, all good things will eventually follow.
Good luck.
My advice to the OP is simply tell the dancer very clearly and while looking her in the eye that you are waiting for someone else or simply that you do not want company. You'll avoid hurting her feelings but still get your point across. :)