Things you wish more strippers knew.

I had a recent frustrating experience at a club where I wished the stripper knew about a technique a stripper used on me years ago. I would have suggested it at the time but the girl did not have the necessary things with her.

Then I realized that perhaps dancers don't teach each other as much as we think. Since a few dancers visit here I thought I could share mine and maybe yours too.

THE ABSOLUTE BEST WAY TO GIVE A HAND JOB IN A CLUB

You need an unlubricated condom and unscented lube. Take out the condom but before putting it on pour a generous quantity of the lube inside the tip of the condom. Then put the condom on as normal. You can then give a firm grip stroking that will feel wonderfully slippery and smooth but your hands stay clean, your costume stays clean and his clothes stay clean. Afterward depending on the circumstances you can either remove and hide, plus wipe off his cock with a single stroke of a tissue OR he can just zip up and stride to the mens' room with his dignity and pants intact.

(Note do not try the lubricant-on-the-inside trick for anything but a hand job, the condom will slip off too easily without your hand holding it on.)

20 comments

  • LeeH
    14 years ago
    "Then I realized that perhaps dancers don't teach each other as much as we think."

    Can't imagine why a dancer wouldn't want to teach something to a newbie so that the newbie could steal her business.
  • gatorfan
    14 years ago
    What about those don't want a condom used for a handjob? if they are throwing on a condom they better be sucking it!
  • inno123
    14 years ago
    Well to each their own gatorfan. I know that the disease risk from a HJ is minimal, but to reduce even that, plus stain avoidance, plus the fact that the lube-on-the-inside technique realy does feel great you might want to re-think it.
  • inno123
    14 years ago
    Well, Swaggeriffic, this wasn't the direction I was expecting the conversation to go, but why would I pay for a HJ?

    1. Cheaper
    2. In clubs with a fairly private LD area you might not have to spring for the VIP to get one.
    3. I can enjoy rubbing her tits, ass, kitty. and kissing her tits. while she is doing it.
    4. In large part because of #3 I find it more enjoyable. But that's just me.

    But the real topic was supposed to be what do you wish more strippers knew?
  • potheadpl
    14 years ago
    The risk of an STD from a HJ is "minimal"? I don't understand how it could be anything but zero, unless some girl has hand herpes. I've actually seen that(it was very common amongst dentists in the pre-glove era), it was called Herpetic Whitlow.
  • Realist123
    14 years ago
    "things you wish more strippers knew?

    How to lighten up! Some girls around here and just horrible and I'm suprised they make any money, all they do is get one dance from every guy in there who doesn't know any better

    Because there is no way anyone is getting more than 1 dance from these chicks...
    How the fuck do they survive in this game?
  • Realist123
    14 years ago
    Also, who the fuck uses a condom for a handjob?? Even BJ's.. I wouldn't waste my cash on a BJ w/ condom If i knew that was what I was getting, I've done it on a whim in the moment sort of deal but I don't get anything out of it and would never do it again. HJ's/BJ's with condoms are a No/No. The risks are so low and really, if you aren't willing to let a hot 20 something stripper suck your dick without a condom, why even live at all?

    Stop worrying about the things that are least likely to hurt you and realize that you are in more danger on your trip to the club, then your actions or after affects of when you are there.
  • Dudester
    14 years ago
    Things strippers don't know:

    1) I'm not one of those neutered married guys so excited to be touched by a woman not my wife, that I won't cum in 30 seconds. Actually, it takes me a while to hit blast off, unless you're a raging 10 with the looks of a young Phoebe Cates, and the skill of an early 1980's porn star.

    2) I return affection in the LD area. I'm not one of those clueless clods ignorant of foreplay, expecting the stripper to do all the work. If I'm caressing your arms, nibbling on your ears and neck, and paying attention to your nipples, I'm sending you clues that orgasm is within easy reach. Lose yourself in the experience. If I disgust you, you're in the wrong line of work. McDonald's is always hiring.

    3) If I tell you to stop, go ahead and stop. If I don't stop you, all you have to do is say, "that's the second song, that's the third song. If I'm willing to allow you to continue, it's because I'll end up paying you 200+ bucks. You're at the club to make money, right ?

    4) Don't make an OTC Date with me, unless you really mean it. If you give me your number and tell me to call you tomorrow, I will. Don't then play stupid, and fumble while youmake an excuse (the liquor got to you) and you no longer intend to follow through. You stand to make 200-300 without sharing it with DJ, bouncer, manager, bartender,and busboy. I thought you wanted to make money. Are you that stupid ?

    5) Yes, you are in a "party" profession, but if alcohol impairs you that much, you lose a money making mind. Do you ever see drunk CEO's, CFO's, and executives in a boardroom ? No ? There's a reason for that.

    6) Yeah, a strip club is a wrong place to make a romantic connection, but if you play your cards right, you could end up leaving your loser BF and be the richer for it, literally.

    7) If you find a golden goose, don't fuck it up by getting greedy.
  • Prim0
    14 years ago
    1. How to count songs accurately. I've never had a miscount but I've heard from enough people who have.
  • scatterbrain
    14 years ago
    #7 on Dudester's list rings particularly true. How come some of the best favorites over time become greedy and ruin a good thing (he asks rhetorically)? I've lost quite a few this way. I think they think we're either stupid or overly gullible. When will they learn?
  • inno123
    14 years ago
    There is in fact zero chance of catching a STD from a hand job because any infection you caught from a hand job could have been caught some other way and would not be regarded as a sexually transmitted disease. But that is different than saying that the chance of getting an infection from a HJ is zero.

    Besides the point of the lube-in-the-condom technique isn't infection avoidance. The point is that done well it feels great and avoids stains.

    A BBBJ on the other hand is a different story entirely. You are just fooling yourself if you think it is a low-risk activity with somebody in contact with as many people as a stripper. Acceptable risk? Your call. Low risk? No.
  • inno123
    14 years ago
    I guess one thing I would add is that guys come into a club with a budget. It is perfectly OK to try to get a guy to spend his entire budget on you, but don't get pushy that he spend more than that. Even if you succeed he will resent it afterward. Most guys have already gone to an ATM before coming to the club. Two large withdrawls within an hour or so is going to look suspicious to anybody looking at a bank statement.
  • Book Guy
    14 years ago
    Song-counter in the VIP. Just a number ticking up on one of those red-light-diode scoreboards the wall. When you walk in, you notice that it says, "45." Try to keep that in mind while the girls smooshes your glasses with her tits. Then you're done and it says "48" ... bing, just changed to "49" as you paid her for three dances -- numbers 46, 47, and 48. When it gets to 99, the next number is 01. It changes at the change of each song.

    How difficult would that be?
  • Book Guy
    14 years ago
    By the way, putting lube on the inside of a condom is a great trick. But you don't have to pre-lube them yourself -- you can buy several brands that come pre-lubed (inside and out; or, just outside) in the package.
  • inno123
    14 years ago
    Sure you can buy pre-lubed condoms, but part of this dancers's trick was that by using plain condoms and unscented lube just on the inside then her hands stayed cleaner and less smelly. Most of the pre-lubed condoms out there use a spermicidal lubricant that has a harsh chemical smell (and an even worse taste).
  • mmdv26
    14 years ago
    inno, I paid attention and can pass the pop quiz. The answer is: d) feels great and prevents stains.

    OK, now I'm going to ignore your point and ask...if a dancer does BBBJ on a guy who has the clap, and ten minutes later she's doing you a BBBJ, what are the chances that the disease could be transmitted?? I ask, because I think it actually happened to me years ago. Mild case, I healed on my own in a week without antibiotics, but it might have caused my prostate cancer 20 years later.

    Or, it could have been Susan who I hooked-up with after our 20th H.S. class reunion....
  • inno123
    14 years ago
    @mmdv...absolutely you could catch Gonnorrhea under those circumstances. As to the percentage chances there have been no studies but as to vaginal sex it is believed that a single act has a 60-80 percent transmission rate Male-Female and a 20 percent transmission rate Female-Male.
  • gatorfan
    14 years ago
    Use a toilet seat protector there are diseases there
  • samsung1
    14 years ago
    Prim0, you make a good point about the song counting especially at kahoots where they use the punch cards. There is a hot young dancer at kahoots I liked but can't convince myself to do dances with her again unless it is 2fer1 uptime because she is a ROB about counting the partial songs as a full song.
  • Book Guy
    14 years ago
    Is gonorrhea "the clap"? I thought that "the clap" was syphillis and that "the drip" was gonorrhea. I dunno what the "official" use of these slang terms is, though ... it'd be interesting to hear what others think.
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