My boyfriend doesn't want me to come with him to a strip club. Why?

27 comments

• bigdude012

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  13 years ago

  He is either a. Just trying to have a night out with the guys and only the guys or b. he's looking to get a little bit on the side. Given the nature of your relationship I'm willing to bet on a. it's guys night and they want to get away from the SOs for a couple of hours.
• jackslash

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  13 years ago

  Your boyfriend's a gaylord. Drop him and go to the strip club with me.
• reno66

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  13 years ago

  I think he wants to go the clubs without you see he can have a fantasy about the girls there. Also I do not believe him when he says he does not like them to touch. That is the main reason men go to them so they can get a good grind. Many of the girls let their hands roam below the belt. He is not being totally honest.
• SuperDude

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  13 years ago

  Stripclubs are one of the few places left where normal guys can do what normal guys like to do, drool over women, without having to explain or justify our reasons or conduct. Women have so emasculated men that a guy can't just be a man anymore. Everything must be shared, explained, justified and rationalized under the Oprahfication of relationships. A guy who wants to be hang out with other guys is automatically suspected of betraying the SO relationship--especially if it involves going to a stripclub. He might be telling the truth--just looking. Or he may be in need of some stimulation not found in your realationship which is something the two of you may need to discuss.
• Fenster

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  13 years ago

  A friend of mine would take his wife to strip clubs (not always, though). With her there, it was all about her having fun. He didn't indulge, lest there be repercussions. She'd have a blast, and get good and horny, which I'm sure he always wanted to take advantage of when they got home. Problem is, after spending a ton of money to get her into that state of mind, she'd be too drunk for him to have any fun. Once, I had to help him pick her up off the bedroom floor, where she had passed out, wearing only her thong, and put her in bed. When I was at a club once, there were two twenty-ish guys there with their girlfriends/fiancees/wives/SOs. The guys were having a good time, too naive to understand how much pain they were in for. One of the wives just glared at me while I was getting a dance - REALLY creepy. And annoying. I mentioned this to the dancer, and the dancer said that usually meant she wanted a dance, so she stopped by. Nope - she really wasn't into it, because her man so obviously was. Your boyfriend probably realizes that if he takes you to a club, he can't have any fun, it's got to be all about you. Which is great, if you're into it. And if he benefits from it when you get home. What your boyfriend should do is find a dancer who is couple-friendly, or girl-friendly, and make a deal with her to undress you in the champagne room. Then, after she teaches you how to give him a lapdance, she can watch while you finish him off. (I really need a girlfriend ....)
• troop

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  13 years ago

  JUB_08 03/10/11 12:51 AM He says he's just there to see tits and doesn't like to have contact. Says he wouldn't get off watching me with a stripper and prefers it when the strippers don't touch him. ^^ jub, your boyfriend is either a liar or a gay assclown. only you can answer which.
• shadowcat

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  13 years ago

  He probably thinks all strip clubs are like the Clairmount Lounge in ATL. For you out of towners, the Clairmount Lounge is the worste club in ATL. A real joke!
• Dougster

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  13 years ago

  OP: "says he's just there to see tits and doesn't like to have contact. " Your bf is FOS. He is lying to you and doesn't want you there because he wants some stripper to suck his dick but he doesn't want you to know.
• CTQWERTY

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  13 years ago

  Where are JUB's reviews???
• lopaw

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  13 years ago

  Liar or gay assclown...... Hmmmmmm....I vote liar. The last place I want to take my SO to is a stripclub, especially one that I visit often. I like the extra special "services" I get, and I wouldn't want to jeopardize that. But if the SO REALLY wanted to go, I'd take her to a club that I have never been to, so that none of the dancers know me. Like one that was 100 miles away or something.
• mmdv26

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  13 years ago

  JUB, are you a gay boy or a girl?
• sexualchoc

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  13 years ago

  superdude hit it right on the nail with that one...
• farmerart

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  13 years ago

  farmerart is an expert. You want to go to a SC ? I will be back in North America at the end of March. 780-555-1212. Call me.
• deogol

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  13 years ago

  I second Superdude. "Oprahfication of relationships" LOL
• Book Guy

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  13 years ago

  I also second (is that "I third"?) Superdude. The Oprahfication of your relationship is PRECISELY what your boyfriend is trying to AVOID. You've succeeded in threatening his one source of un-sentimental fucktality, by moving in on the source of all lust and trying to turn it into human relationships. Stop it. Shut the fuck up and make his cock pop, and then do that again later. Unload the gun for him. This is your duty. It is his totally reasonable expectation, that the girlfriend's job is to unload the gun. If she does not, then she is not the girlfriend. There may be several reasons why she does not unload the gun. She may be prissy or stupid about it (probably thinking that sex must be Oprahfied and "meaningful") in which case her approach is pro-actively driving the boyfriend away. Or, HE may be sick of her simply because he has grown tired of the lack of novelty. (See below, the Bill Maher hypothesis.) In any case, when gun-unloading is waning, then girlfriend-status is waning. It's a one-to-one relationship. Generally his perception of her desirability as a gun-unloader is based mostly on her visual physical hotness. Most people say that his desire would be based to 99.99999% on her visual physical hotness, but a respectable minority dissent and prefer instead to assert that the percent is only 99.97843% or perhaps slightly greater. I have not personally decided which camp I agree with. In any case, if he does not think she is hot enough, he does not want her to unload the gun. Yet the gun automatically reloads itself, sometimes without either partner being aware of that fact or even remembering the possibility. Surprise! Loaded gun! Any loaded gun must be unloaded immediately. The longer it remains loaded without alleviation, the worse the relationship is. Teasing the gun -- treating the boyfriend as though you would unload the gun; then, failing to do so for any reason (whether or not within your control) is tantamount to breaking up with the boyfriend. Additionally, it is a crime in most states (except Oregon, where it is called "dating"). If the gun is loaded and the girlfriend fails to unload it, the gun will get unloaded in some other manner. And, if the boyfriend no longer thinks of the girlfriend as hot enough that he would wish for her to unload his gun, then he will not think of her as an adequate gun-unloader. It's not about whether she CAN unload the gun, it's about whether he WANTS someone who looks like her to unload the gun. A simplification, purely for mathematical purposes: 1. gun + time = loaded-gun; 2. loaded-gun --> unloading required; preferably by a desired gun-unloader (see 3.) 3. female + hot-enough = desired gun-unloader; 4. girlfriend = gun-unloader ELSE break-up Note corollary to items 3 + 4: 5. hot-enough = desired girlfriend OR n-5. not-hot-enough = not-desired-girlfriend With the above syllogism you now understand all there is to know about human males. Please do NOT add anything else. Note that in the gun syllogism there is NO mention of mutual compatibility, respect, guest towels, matching his-and-hers potpourri or soap dispensers, meaningful time together, or whether or not this dress makes you look fat. All additional factors are superfluous, except in so far as they contribute to corollary n-5 because extreme mental anguish is known to cause hot-enough visual stimuli to be misinterpreted by the observing male and to be identified as not-hot-enough. I think this statement merits mathematical expression: 6. hot-enough + Oprahfication = falsely-seems-not-hot-enough OK then, enough on the general rules. Let's apply them to your specific circumstance. Your boyfriend wants contact, hotness, drunken tipsiness, and tits mashed up in his face. Why? Because he's a heterosexual adult human male. Don't ask for further explanation. Dogs bark, men want tits mashed up in our faces, the sun rises tomorrow. It's all really straightforward. If he doesn't want it from you or with you, that's because you're not hot enough to him. If he's off to the strip club without you, then, he's off to get tits mashed up in his face with some girl other than you. He probably is getting his gun unloaded somehow in the process, but he may not be, or maybe he's just doing his own solo shooting at the gun range afterwards. In any case, wherever the gun is getting unloaded, this whole situation is a clear signal that you are not a desired-gun-unloader. You must become more hot to him. You have either gained weight (see 8., below), or Oprahfied (see 6., above). Each of these phenomena is a defined de-hottification phenomenon. 7. fat = not-hot and thus 8. fat + female = not-hot-female You are now in the horrible position of actually having to give to your partner what your partner wants, and actually having to admit that in a relationship between a man and a woman, the man is actually half of the partnership, and that typical human male desires are actually things which human females ought to try to fulfill, should those human females actually wish to preserve their relationships with those human males. In other words ... put up or shut up. And no, there's no get-out-of-jail-free card, just because the relationship STARTED with typical North American assumptions (sex is for meaningfulnesses, men should learn to like Oprah, titties mashed up in his face is a dirty low thing and not something my perfect boyfriend would want, relationships with mutual commitment are the only way to have satisfying sex, men must marry women whom they've dated for a while precisely because they've dated them for a while no matter how much the women go to pot and turn into Real-Housewives-Of material), doesn't mean it can't also END because of typical North American assumptions. Oh wait, I forgot one more thing: the Bill Maher Hypothesis: Bill Maher's eternal truth: "To guys, there are only two types of women. Old. And new. He's either already had her in the past, or he's trying to create an opportunity to have her in the future." I personally consider this observation mildly misleading, because it presumes an absolute and mutually exclusive differentiation between the two, and only two, conditions. To the contrary, I believe there is something of a continuum of change from one pole to the other, such that women fall into four rather than merely two categories: A. New. B. Still seems new. C. Becoming old. D. Old. You sound to me like you're moving from B. to C. Probably has something to do with whether or not you still can merit his desire that you unload his gun.
• Dougster

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  13 years ago

  Still as big a windbad as ever, huh, BookGuy?
• txtittyfan

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  13 years ago

  He doesn't want to look at you, he wants to see hot women.
• looneylarry

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  13 years ago

  All said before. He doesn't want you there because he can have more fun without you. Maybe he doesn't want the two worlds to collide. Listen, if your girlfriend says that she wants to watch the Superbowl with you, she better know what the hell is going on and not keep asking dumb questions. In the rare instance that a female knows what a weakside blitz is or a cover-3 or trap blocking, then she can complement the viewing experience. If she doesn't know things like Baltimore used to have a team before the Ravens, she needs to stay away. He has you pegged as the latter, honey.
• magicrat

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  13 years ago

  Shadow, Clairmont Lounge worst in ATL? I thought it gave a strong run for worst in the U.S.! Never been there btw.
• shadowcat

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  13 years ago

  magicrat: You are correct. Here is an excerpt from a review." Clermont is infamous and an Atlanta institution that I hope will never change. You don't go here to look at attractive women you want to sleep with, you go here to have your senses blown and get a good laugh."
• BaddJack

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  13 years ago

  Book Guy: I LOVE the New Math.
• JUB_08

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  13 years ago

  Thanks guys! I appreciate your honesty. Couple things.... CTQWERTY: I'll be happy to post reviews! shadowcat and magicrat: found the Clairmont on a list of 10 things to see and do in ATL. Glad I went. Troop and jackslash: he's lying; definitely not a gaylord (been with a guy that liked boys but refused to admit it, so I can tell the difference). Book Guy and txtittyfan: Yep! The strippers are hotter and more talented than I! Oh, I don't watch Oprah. And, I love men for being men. And I don't want to take his fun night out with the guys away. I'd rather go alone with just him when we are out of town somewhere. I'm just saying.
• georgmicrodong

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  13 years ago

  JUB: Then tell *him* that. :)
• Book Guy

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  13 years ago

  Your seeming willingness to appreciate sexuality in the manner in which a male is likely to appreciate it, is probably a characteristic that can radically increase your desirability, at least among certain males. Maybe those males include your boyfriend. (It's also possible to come across as a non-feminine, vulgar pig, by adopting masculine habits. But that's a subtle balancing act which can't be prescribed or instructed by mere internet posts.) If you work your willingness to horn-it-up and to let him horn-it-up, maybe the fact that you're not visually as hot as the strippers won't necessarily be a complete achilles heel to this relationship. All depends on how you work it and what the boy wants.
• looneylarry

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  13 years ago

  I'll amend my previous post re the football analogy. It *is* possible for a woman to quickly learn about the game so that she can converse knowledgeably about it. If she is honestly trying to learn, he'll help you along. But don't embarass him while you're doing it. If you strike a balance of eager interest without being overbearing, then it comes off as endearing. Maybe cute. In rare instances, maybe even hot. Let him take the lead on this.
• JUB_08

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  13 years ago

  Thanks guys! Just want to have a fun relationship with him. He's actually going out with the guys to a club on Saturday for a bachelor party and I plan to work that to my benefit on Sunday! BookGuy: those bouncing boobs are distracting! ; )
• magicrat

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  13 years ago

  Larry, You football analogy reminded me of the move Diner..a definite oldie but goodie. The bride had to pass a test on the then Baltimore Colts before the guy would marry her..had to earn her way so to speak.