My Google Voice number rang again on my way to work this morning. The caller preview said that it was My Favorite Cocksucker, so I answer it. An angry male voice immediately starts demanding information.
Him: "Who the fuck is this?"
Me: "You called me. Who the fuck are you?"
Him: "Why the fuck is your number in my girlfriend's phone under 'money'?"
Remembering a TUSCL post from a while ago...
Me: "Bub, this is a duty phone. There's 30 different guys using it during the month. You got a name?"
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to phaze him, because he keeps on ranting and raving about I better stay away from her, and how she's a whore, etc, etc, ad nauseum. So I hang up.
He calls back twice more, and leaves ranting voicemail, but on the third call back I answer again.
Me: "Hello."
Him: "Listen motherfucker, you better stay away from her, she's my whore."
Me: "So she is a whore then, huh? Is she any good? Can I call her later?"
Him, sputtering: "You son of a bitch, I'm gonna..."
Me: "Shut the fuck up, asswipe. If you were a tenth the man you think you are, you're girlfriend wouldn't be out fucking other guys for money, so just shut the fuck up."
Then I hung up, and since I had made it to work, imset that number as spam, so now he gets the "number no longer in service" message.
A little while later, another call, from her home phone, comes in, but I let that one go straight to voicemail. When I listen to it, it's actually MFC, and she's telling me not to answer her other phone, because she broke up with he BF last night, and he stole her phone and won't give it back.
So I call her back and tell her it's too late. She's all apologetic and wants to "make it up to me."
"Not this time, sweetheart. I don't want to have to kill your BF if he follows you."
What does she say to that? I kid you not, the next word out of her mouth, after a pause, was, "darn".
I nearly died laughing.
Comments
last commentLMFAO! Thank goodness for google voice. I also saw you can make phone calls now using Gmail.
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"your number in my girlfriend's phone under 'money'?"
lol
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a real classy whore at that...
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Wow, what a story. As a writer, that kind of thing intrigues me. It would be interesting to be the mercenary a guy hires to get rid of a jealous BF. Hmmm... I might write a story about that.
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maybe you should change your name to moneymicrodong. ;)
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or georgmoneydong
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You should call him and ask if he knows if she would like to earn a quick $100.
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Post the number.
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I think a lot of them simply don't understand they aren't gonna ever own that pussy. I can't stand gals that let some MF lowlife get in their phone either.
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A little scary but also very funny. Just reinforces my policy of NOT giving my numbers to strippers.
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steve: Yeah, let's not talk about that part. :) Apparently, her phone lets her put more than one number under each "contact", with a name. Not sure how that phone works, but my iPhone can do something similar, with a little work. The really amusing part is that apparently there were a lot of numbers listed under "money"; mine just happened to be the first one he got an answer on, I guess.
imnumnutz: Classy? Not hardly. But she is one a HELL of a fellatrix.
troop: LOL! I am nowhere near being her most well heeled "client".
'cat: None of them have my real number. That's the beauty of Google Voice. I can use my phone, without revealing my number. And if I cared to take some of the more extreme measures, I could probably pretty effectively shield myself even further. I haven't bothered with that, though.
To those who suggested posting the phone number, she's already turned it off. In fact, she called me last night to let me know that he was in jail. He apparently tried to use the same hammer he destroyed her phone with on her! Fortunately for her, he tried to do this drunk, with one of her bouncer friends present. He wasn't at all shy about "bouncing" him off the wall, and then calling the cops. He even, apparently, kept her out of it, claiming it was an assault on him.
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I wonder how many guys are listed under "money". Strippers get numbers given to them probably every week they work.
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Hilarius - Her idiot BF calling the busload of men in her phone. He must be in shock with the realization he has prob shared her with a lot of them. He just does not understand his never gonna own her pussy....
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This Lowlife is not a BF, he's just another client who may or may not "PAY"! It is really quite FUNNY how possessive some men get about Pussy! LOL
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Sounds like I need to get a google voice number. You don't really know the person you give out your number to unless you do a background check on them. Your real number reveals a lot of personal information.
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Get a burner
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That's a great story! The truth is often crazier than fiction - and your story proves it!
I guess that whore is also a crazy girl - as she appears to make poor choices in boyfriends. This is why I don't understand why dancers and whores date jealous guys? Of course - I don't know why a jealous guy would date a whore or dancer either! It makes for great break up stories!
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Thank you for this story. Started my day with a smile
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@Beaver_Hunter: You missed the part where I don't need one.
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This could have been posted as article. Bravo!
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Brave story from a hairless ape that pissed himself when I threatened to go all wildebeest on his ass. I let the dickless one go after I hit him with a mighty ROAR! because he wasn't worth the bother of going wildebeest on him.
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The recent discussion of strippers and their significant others reminded me of this one. 🤣🤣🤣
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I actually did get a call from a cuck while carrying a duty phone. I knew exactly who was fucking his wife because he was notorious for screwing anything with a pulse - no standards and they were all pretty nasty. I had also fired him earlier that week. That cuck believed me and started pumping me for info, but the former employee had a wife and kids who did not deserve whatever this guy had planned.
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Top story!
Quote of the year (so far):
“ Why the fuck is your number in my girlfriend's phone under 'money'?”
HAHAHAHAHAH
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The way that started I thought it was building to a punchline
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Amazing and top story GMD
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