Interesting phone

georgmicrodong
Just a fat, creepy old pervert.
My Google Voice number rang again on my way to work this morning. The caller preview said that it was My Favorite Cocksucker, so I answer it. An angry male voice immediately starts demanding information.

Him: "Who the fuck is this?"
Me: "You called me. Who the fuck are *you*?"
Him: "Why the fuck is your number in my girlfriend's phone under 'money'?"

Remembering a TUSCL post from a while ago...
Me: "Bub, this is a duty phone. There's 30 different guys using it during the month. You got a name?"

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to phaze him, because he keeps on ranting and raving about I better stay away from her, and how she's a whore, etc, etc, ad nauseum. So I hang up.

He calls back twice more, and leaves ranting voicemail, but on the third call back I answer again.

Me: "Hello."
Him: "Listen motherfucker, you better stay away from her, she's *my* whore."
Me: "So she *is* a whore then, huh? Is she any good? Can I call her later?"
Him, sputtering: "You son of a bitch, I'm gonna..."
Me: "Shut the fuck up, asswipe. If you were a tenth the man you think you are, you're girlfriend wouldn't be out fucking other guys for money, so just shut the fuck up."

Then I hung up, and since I had made it to work, imset that number as spam, so now he gets the "number no longer in service" message.

A little while later, another call, from her home phone, comes in, but I let that one go straight to voicemail. When I listen to it, it's actually MFC, and she's telling me not to answer her other phone, because she broke up with he BF last night, and he stole her phone and won't give it back.

So I call her back and tell her it's too late. She's all apologetic and wants to "make it up to me."

"Not this time, sweetheart. I don't want to have to kill your BF if he follows you."

What does she say to that? I kid you not, the next word out of her mouth, after a pause, was, "darn".

I nearly died laughing.

21 comments

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samsung1
14 years ago
LMFAO! Thank goodness for google voice. I also saw you can make phone calls now using Gmail.
steve229
14 years ago
"your number in my girlfriend's phone under 'money'?"

lol
imnumnutz
14 years ago
a real classy whore at that...
Dudester
14 years ago
Wow, what a story. As a writer, that kind of thing intrigues me. It would be interesting to be the mercenary a guy hires to get rid of a jealous BF. Hmmm... I might write a story about that.
troop
14 years ago
maybe you should change your name to moneymicrodong. ;)
troop
14 years ago
or georgmoneydong
txtittyfan
14 years ago
You should call him and ask if he knows if she would like to earn a quick $100.
sinclair
14 years ago
Post the number.
Player11
14 years ago
I think a lot of them simply don't understand they aren't gonna ever own that pussy. I can't stand gals that let some MF lowlife get in their phone either.

shadowcat
14 years ago
A little scary but also very funny. Just reinforces my policy of NOT giving my numbers to strippers.
georgmicrodong
14 years ago
steve: Yeah, let's not talk about that part. :) Apparently, her phone lets her put more than one number under each "contact", with a name. Not sure how that phone works, but my iPhone can do something similar, with a little work. The really amusing part is that apparently there were a *lot* of numbers listed under "money"; mine just happened to be the first one he got an answer on, I guess.

imnumnutz: Classy? Not hardly. But she is one a *HELL* of a fellatrix.

troop: LOL! I am nowhere near being her most well heeled "client".

'cat: None of them have my real number. That's the beauty of Google Voice. I can use my phone, without revealing my number. And if I cared to take some of the more extreme measures, I could probably pretty effectively shield myself even further. I haven't bothered with that, though.

To those who suggested posting the phone number, she's already turned it off. In fact, she called me last night to let me know that he was in jail. He apparently tried to use the same hammer he destroyed her phone with on her! Fortunately for her, he tried to do this drunk, with one of her bouncer friends present. He wasn't at all shy about "bouncing" him off the wall, and then calling the cops. He even, apparently, kept *her* out of it, claiming it was an assault on *him*.
samsung1
14 years ago
I wonder how many guys are listed under "money". Strippers get numbers given to them probably every week they work.
Player11
14 years ago
Hilarius - Her idiot BF calling the busload of men in her phone. He must be in shock with the realization he has prob shared her with a lot of them. He just does not understand his never gonna own her pussy....
Alucard
14 years ago
This Lowlife is not a BF, he's just another client who may or may not "PAY"! It is really quite FUNNY how possessive some men get about Pussy! LOL
sharkhunter
14 years ago
Sounds like I need to get a google voice number. You don't really know the person you give out your number to unless you do a background check on them. Your real number reveals a lot of personal information.
Beaver_Hunter
9 years ago
Get a burner
Cashman1234
9 years ago
That's a great story! The truth is often crazier than fiction - and your story proves it!

I guess that whore is also a crazy girl - as she appears to make poor choices in boyfriends. This is why I don't understand why dancers and whores date jealous guys? Of course - I don't know why a jealous guy would date a whore or dancer either! It makes for great break up stories!
K
9 years ago
Thank you for this story. Started my day with a smile
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
@Beaver_Hunter: You missed the part where I don't need one.
Dominic77
9 years ago
This could have been posted as article. Bravo!
rickthelion
9 years ago
Brave story from a hairless ape that pissed himself when I threatened to go all wildebeest on his ass. I let the dickless one go after I hit him with a mighty ROAR! because he wasn't worth the bother of going wildebeest on him.
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