Help!! I wanna stop this girl from becoming a stripper!!!!!!!!

DickJohnson
Illinois
there is a girl i know who wants to become a stripper and i am pretty sure it would destroy her life. How do i know this? well, you see, the thing is that she is omish. I'm fairly certain that omish people would be against stripping, but she is determined to go the bright lights, big city. she has said she is tired of the butter churn and wants to hold a stripper pole now. seriously, what do i tell her? i really fear for her safety because she is so naive. any suggesstions? thanks.

33 comments

Latest

samsung1
15 years ago
Rumspringa!


You guys should watch the movie Sex Drive (2008)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1135985/

Along the way they endure mishaps, hostile encounters with hitchhikers and state troopers, as well as friendly and even erotic encounters with a group of young Amish engaging in transgressive behavior (according to a popular but distorted notion of the concept of rumspringa).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_Drive_(…
Clubber
15 years ago
DJ,

You should take her under your wing and guide her into her chosen profession. Teach her to avoid the pitfalls and use her skills to make a lot of money and invest it.

Perhaps someday she might buy an automobile, a cell phone, maybe even makeup!
shadowcat
15 years ago
You first have to teach her how drive the horse and buggy to the strip club. Next?
Dougster
15 years ago
Tell her that nearly all strippers either start of as, or become stupid, lying, thieving whores. Then ask her if she wants to become a stupid, lying, thieving whore. If she says "yes" then stripping is for her, otherwise it is not.
gatorfan
15 years ago
Dick, If you really want her not to become a stripper, you will need some drastic measures. You need to give her greater reasons not to become a stripper. Start by giving her $500 a day in cash, if she knows she is going to receive more money from you she will have no reason to strip. Then you can ask her to strip and perform lap dances for you.

If none of this works and she still wants to be a stripper, you need to pull out the heavy artillary. No, not your dick, but the old electro-shocking $1 bill. Place a stack of $1's with a Tazer needle taped to the middle of it. Everytime she goes to grab the $1's, shock her until she realizes $1 bills are bad. You can continue to do this with a pair of stripper heels, thong and anything else until she gives up the idea.
CTQWERTY
15 years ago
Dick, desperate times call for desperate measures! Empty the liquor flask and head over to St. Paul's for some Holy Water. Then pour the Holy Water on her while chanting a 16th century Gregorian Hymn. If that doesn't work, take her to see an episode of The Jerry Springer Show and tell her she too could wind up on stage due to multiple lovers, bad judgement, and a partial edumacation. She should then be scared straight!
DB Cooper
15 years ago
Omish?
CTQWERTY
15 years ago
DB, it's a Dick Johnson post; just close your eyes and go with the feeling...

========================================================================
fyi:

Main Entry: Amish
Pronunciation: \ˈä-mish, ˈa-, ˈā-\
Function: adjective
Etymology: probably from German amisch, from Jacob Amman or Amen fl1693 Swiss Mennonite bishop
Date: 1844
: of or relating to a strict sect of Mennonites who were followers of Amman and settled in America chiefly in the 18th century

— Amish noun
arbeeguy
15 years ago
Probobly the best woy to deol with a noive omish girl is to mossoge her oss with a cotton swob
arbeeguy
15 years ago
DB - it ain't Omish it's omish. PAY ATTENTION
judyjudy
15 years ago
Dougster says:
[ignore]Posted: 03/18/10


Tell her that nearly all strippers either start of as, or become stupid, lying, thieving whores. Then ask her if she wants to become a stupid, lying, thieving whore. If she says "yes" then stripping is for her, otherwise it is not.

Dougster,

I have to tell you i take great offence to the above mentioned comment. You have got to be kidding me......i agree that some girls certainly fall into the catagory you have described, but you in know way should say that nearly all become that. In my experience i would say over 50% of the girls I have worked with are actually quite nice and not as you describe.

Please do not throw us all into that catagory.
judyjudy
15 years ago
There is a classy way to do this you know.......
Mr.White
15 years ago
a stripper in full omish costume.stripping down to a really nasty thong.damn that would turn me on.if she wants to be a stripper, shes ganna be a stripper.if she is stong willed all you will do by going against her is push her away.if you want to stay "freids" go with it.she might try it and not like it.thaats when she is ganna need some support.
DickJohnson
15 years ago
these all great posts..some of them I will try to reach her with...I talked to her today and she said she is going with the name Jezebel becaue it really captures her personality....strange
DoctorDarby
15 years ago
You could also help her adjust to her new vocation by taking her to practice stripping out of her plain black dress for a bunch of Civil War reenactors who wear clothing much like she is used to seeing among her brethren. Not only that, but the baggy wool soldier-pants would hide their boners so she didn't get too scared. However, there might be some chafing issues doing lap dances on wool trousers. On second thought, this might be a bad idea since reenactors (especially Rebs) tend to be a rather crude, tobacco stained, smelly bunch of critters. Plus, they would try to tip her in Confederate money.
DickJohnson
15 years ago
I have mentioned to her that she will need to do some ah um, landscaping, on her parts. She seemed really confused by this and says
that maybe she will only dance for guys who like hairy women.
SuperDude
15 years ago
As Hamlet said to Ophelia, "Get thee to a nunnery!"
Dougster
15 years ago
judyjudy: Not sure what planet you work on, but I'm talking about strippers here on the planet earth.

I stand behind my statement that nearly all strippers (here on the planet earth) are stupid, lying, thieving whores.
Clubber
15 years ago
Dougster,

Just for the record, I assume that you do, in fact, know nearly all strippers, and have verifiable proof to back up your claim.

Either that, or it is just an opinion which you are certainly entitled to embrace.
MisterGuy
15 years ago
You should have her watch this video DJ:
http://www.slutload.com/watch/g9tGtJeedj…

and then discipline her for watching it, per this video:
http://www.slutload.com/watch/e04iRSLTUV…
---------------------------------------------------------------
Judy...don't react to the Internet Trolls like our resident Dougster/Bobby-boy. They are just here to stir the pot endlessly.
Dougster
15 years ago
clubber: It's like me saying nearly all strippers are under 46 years of age, because I've met so few who are not. Do I need to have met nearly all strippers in the world and have verifiable proof to make that claim? I'm willing to go out on a limb and make the generalization.





Dougster
15 years ago
MisterGay: Is it really that hard to believe that someone thinks nearly all strippers are stupid, lying, thieving whores? What I find hard to believe is that anyone "respects" them, as you claim to. In fact, as you make a big deal to show that, supposedly do. You, buddy, are the troll.
casualguy
15 years ago
That might be a point of opinion to be told to a wanna be stripper. A number of people will have a low opinion of stripping as a profession and anyone who is called a stripper. She could be a nice church going girl but you suddenly call her a stripper and some will suddenly have a low opinion. Those low opinions are formed from all the bad apples in the stripping profession. I believe most guys who have spent any significant amount of time going to strip clubs feel like they got ripped off or lied to at one time or another by a stripper. Most guys with any strip club experience will often assume any name given is a fake name or stage name.

The other thing a wanna be stripper might want to know about is high contact strip clubs where there is a lot of grinding going on. She's going to have to ask old fat guys for lap dances more than likely just to meet tip out depending upon where she ends up working at. In some clubs if she happens to be the prettier dancer, other dancers can be jealous and viscious. They may even steal from other dancers in some clubs. A lot of dancers may want to work in the perfect world but then reality sinks in. Some dancers will not like a new dancer stealing their regular customers. There are politics in strip clubs. Get it wrong and you could end up in a fight with another dancer or just get fired. Then you'll be left working at a less desirable club if you haven't developed other job skills.
samsung1
15 years ago
You should tell her to practice milking the cows and if she likes that farm task..then she might just like working in a SC.
casualguy
15 years ago
Of course you could tell her she needs to shave all her privates and then to see how well she does, she could strip for you with the music blasting while you fondle her breasts and legs etc. Tell her there's no charge for these training exercises. Every once in a while put on music you like but she doesn't. That will get her used to DJ's playing the wrong music. If she doesn't like smoking but clubs in the area are smoky, you could blow some in the air, tell her it's practice.

On the other hand you could always not tell her anything but ask what club she's trying to work at then go and visit. She may change her mind about working at a club within a few days. She may like it or hate it. Some clubs have amateur nights, she could try out and see how she likes that.
casualguy
15 years ago
Take her to a strip club so she can see what it's like. You could take her to one where it doesn't appear as nice as what someone might see on tv. Even the best ratest clubs where I live at are crowded, smoky, and have music blasting away in some so loud that ear plugs should be required. This is assuming she's old enough to visit and/or work in such a club. More information equals better decision making capability.
Clubber
15 years ago
Dougster,

Simply put, I would say yes, if you state it as fact, rather than your opinion. I'm not saying I agree with you, but of dancer I've really known, I would say you are dead wrong. So it can work either way.

Now I don't know jj, but I would bet she fits my characterization better than yours. Just my opinion.
gatorfan
15 years ago
Omish = Amish? how about in Budhist monk garb.
Dougster
15 years ago
Sorry, clubber, but I think everyone is quite aware that neither I nor anyone has met every stripper in the world. Thus saying "IMO" is completely unnecessary since it's implicit in the statement.

If you were in a strip club and someone asked you what color your car was (say it was blue) would say "I think it's blue but that's just my opinion" or would you say "It's blue". If you say "It's blue" how do you know? Maybe someone stole it and repainted it while you were in the club?

You are really being a sophomoric little twit here. Reminds me on your idiocy in the "Germans bombed Pearl Harbor" where **you lost**, yet again, to MisterGay but thought you were making yourself look so clever.
CTQWERTY
15 years ago
Gator, I guess it's a sign of the Amish getting on the Obama "change" platform?!
gatorfan
15 years ago
I thought Amish people don't have electricity or television sets, how do they know about that.
CTQWERTY
15 years ago
Well, the campaign manager told the staff to leave no stone unturned. So a carload of ambitious workers came upon a horse-drawn buggy and figured they surely needed "change".
Clubber
15 years ago
Dougster,

Nice try, but you are wrong, no matter how you "paint" your words.
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