PL's As Advisors to TSA

mmdv26
Florida
Many of us have been in clubs where they pat you down upon entering. In several ESL clubs, the pat-down babe gives you a playful "package grab" - make sure that's not a pistol; you really are happy to see her.

I think many of us could get six-figure salaries advising the TSA on how to hire strippers to conduct these rather personal searches for bombs, etc. at airport security. As frequent receivers of such invasive searches at entry and during lap dances, I think we probably have the requisite experience to be very valuable consultants.

The downside is that many dancers would leave the clubs to get their high-paying jobs as TSA search personnel. You'd have to hide the bomb in your ass to get it past a couple of dancers that I know. Maybe...

That TSA shirt sleeve patch is just about the right size to be the front of a g-string - errr, maybe too big.

19 comments

Latest

shadowcat
15 years ago
mmdy, I agree to a point. But who wants to pat down a 200lb customer?
vincemichaels
15 years ago
well, it depends on the club one is going too. I am not saying anyone here is gay, but if you go to a gay club, no doubt they'd like to pat you down. LMAO
SnakePlissken
15 years ago
I hope you all realized the damage you have caused.

Some Islamic terrorist (they love strip clubs) is going to come on here and read this and then think "hey, maybe we could test the way we hide bombs by trying to sneak them into strip clubs first, if they don't catch it, the mongoloids at TSA sure as hell aren't"
shadowcat
15 years ago
I remember when Sadam's sons got busted for all the porn, etc they had in their hide away. It was "weapons of masturbation". Ok we jacked off now lets go blow up a jet.No sympathy here. Kill them before they kill us.
gatorfan
15 years ago
Because of this Underwear Bomber, every TSA official is wondering what we're concealing in our drawers.
shadowcat
15 years ago
gatorfan, No they aren't. The senior members are worried about their jobs but the people actually doing the work are not concerned. They can always go back to McDonalds for the same salary. The government (all branches) are full of ignorant, uneducated people. I am surprised at the SS administration. Just retired this last year and have found them to very knowledgeable and helpful. Surprise.
SuperDude
15 years ago
We are approaching a moment of critical decision on airport security. The U.S. may have to turn over security to regular armed military. Today, I find this idea distasteful for any number of reason--U.S. military searching civilian passengers, holding suspicious passengers in lock-ups to be interviewed by civilian law enforcement, loss of civil liberties, another victory for the terrorists, etc. Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen and Somalia, plus airport security will require a military draft to fill the need. (Enlistments are up because of the economy, so that step may be avoided.) In the near term, the full body scan, if implemented, may reveal inadequate package size to the detriment of one's reputation. A small price to pay for national security.
samsung1
15 years ago
Don't go to SCs with metal detectors...sure they feel safe inside but what about outside? All those people out there know you don't have a gun
vincemichaels
15 years ago
SuperDude and samsung1 have good points. As our civil liberties erode in the cause of national security, I can see the military taking over airport security. Right after 09/11, I flew down to Miami from Detroit and was definitely impressed by the security factor as exercised by the biggest military guy, I had seen. I did everything he asked, quickly. As far as ss1's point, ghetto clubs that I have been to in Miami and Detroit with metal detectors and manual searches for weapons, reinforced my concern for personal safety outside the clubs.
samsung1
15 years ago
VM, I like the new melon girl! Got any asian melon girl pics?
how
15 years ago
The current administration is simply not serious about the Global War on Terrorism. In fact, our president wants to pretend it is not happening. And Secretary Napolitano is beyond parody, she's so incompetent.

But to increase security at the airport does not require greater inconvenience for most travelers. Profiling may be a dirty word, but in the real world, one can recognize that every terrorist who has tried to attack our interests here and elsewhere fits a certain "profile." That is useful information that we are willfully ignoring, so as to convince ourselves that we are not prejudicial in our thinking. Bully for us, but people will die as a result of that self-congratulatory nonsense.
shadowcat
15 years ago
I am probably the most qualified person to answer that. 42 years working in Delta's Flight Control. The last 15 years as a manager. I had privy to confidential information about security. I saw a lot of shit in those 42 years but new stuff always comes up.

I agree with how. The rules were there. They were just NOT being followed by under paid, unqualified employees.There were 2 things that should have sent up red flags. A one way ticket and the father notifying the U.S. embassy of his son's behavior. There are a lot more but I won't reveal them. I don't want to give out information that could benefit terrorists.

I do not want to get into politics but I did NOT vote for Obama. I am an independent. My choice for a president is the one that I think is best qualified (experience) to deal with foreign policy. Congress can deal with local issues.

Now where did that cute blond stripper go?
how
15 years ago
Good insights, shadowcat. The additional things that should have been red flags have been reported, and indicate that the underwear-bomber was bold or unconcerned about being coy.

If the TSA hired babes to perform package-checks, perhaps the airlines would start turning a profit...
shadowcat
15 years ago
how, what surprised me is his waiting so long to make his move. They were on final approach to DTW. I believe that he was inept at what he was trying to do and it took him all that time to get up the nerve.
deogol
15 years ago
Bringing the airliner down over a populated area would cause more damage - the fear would be in the air AND THE GROUND.
Clubber
15 years ago
vm,

You are back on my list!
Cheo_D
15 years ago
Shadowcat has an excellent point -- all the rules we'd need exist, but we do not have the right staff implementing them. I heard someone who used to work security for El Al say, you can actually screen a whole 450-person 747 and have them on their way w/o a delay, and you don't need to use specious "profiles" violating people's rights, just have REAL, TRAINED security professionals look up EVERY passenger's paper trail and ask some questions in person at the checkpoint and you'll come up with a valid profile based on conduct. Would that would potentially eat into passenger load? Maybe, but it's not like most of the old airlines haven't gone bankrupt anyway so what's one or two more? So a lot of us will have to go back to going places on Greyhound? Not the end of the world.
casualguy
15 years ago
I remember at one strip club, they once did routine pat downs. One time there was only a girl at the front to pat me down. One time when it was only me and her there, she told me I needed to strip. She sounded serious too.
She was joking. I think at least. I can't remember if someone else showed up within seconds after that or not but it's very possible somebody else did show up.
Hopefully we never get to the point where some girl has to squeeze everyone's dick to make sure it's real and not a fake package. However if it was a hot girl doing it, I can imagine some guys might like that. I think I'd rather be screened instead of being felt up by anyone other than a hot girl.
MisterGuy
15 years ago
"The government (all branches) are full of ignorant, uneducated people."

I'm surprised that you were never able to get a job with them then scat...lol...

"The current administration is simply not serious about the Global War on Terrorism"

...because there is simply no such thing as a war on an act, period.

"one can recognize that every terrorist who has tried to attack our interests here and elsewhere fits a certain 'profile.'"

No, they really don't.

"I am probably the most qualified person to answer that."

No, you really aren't you old fool. You got canned from your job for being drunk for heaven's sake!

"The rules were there."

No, they simply weren't. The 9/11 attacks happened, in part, because airlines (that *you* worked for BTW) were trying to get by with airport security on the cheap, period. It's kind of hard to catch terrorists when screeners don't speak English or were literally so old that they had walkers! Airport security has been a complete joke for many decades now. Most of what is done now is just for show and doesn't really impact safety one bit.
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