Rejecting a dancer asking for a LD
londonguy
Breathe, breathe in the air
If I don't like the girl or just want to take in the 'scenery' in a club I usually say 'later' or 'I just got here' and/or words to that effect. I'm sure they get told 'later' all the time but I can't think of anything different that is a polite let-down without being rude or un-diplomatic.
As a visitor to your wonderful country (and the fantastic SC's) I never want to be rude to any of the locals. Any ideas for polite let-down? I'm sure they always have an answer for whatever is said though?
As a visitor to your wonderful country (and the fantastic SC's) I never want to be rude to any of the locals. Any ideas for polite let-down? I'm sure they always have an answer for whatever is said though?
34 comments
Even better, since dancers tend to be notoriously bad with time they usually don't think to come back before I've either found the one(s) I want or am leaving.
I say "maybe later" to girls that I might want to dance with later. Sometimes that girl does in fact get a dance, so let's not project our habits on other people. I'm almost never going to get a dance within the first few minutes I'm in a club, so later is on my short list of responses in that case. Answering "no thanks" to a girl that just spent however long talking in my ear about whatever is on her mind is just not the way I handle things.
Maybe it's not the way you all do it, either, but without the context we're just talking past each other.
My response: "I'll pass". As soon as I said it I realized how it probably sounded. So she said "Are you waiting for someone else?", so I said "Nope". It was a bit awkward, but she left.
6 LDs later (with 2 different girls), I'm back out sitting on the floor. The "I'll pass" dancer comes back by. I don't know if she saw me getting LDs with the other two girls (it's in a separate room), but she again asks "Are you waiting for someone?". I said "No" (honest answer, I wasn't) and she said "Well then, do you want a private dance?". So I just said "No thanks" and with that she got pissed. Made some kind of remark (didn't catch it) and stomped off, pushing a chair.
Just then, one of the girls I had some LDs earlier with walks off stage and asks "Waiting for me?" (I wasn't), but replied "Sure!".
I usually say "No thanks" if she is not my type and "Maybe later" if she is a possibility depending on who else is there.
In this case, the "I'll pass" girl looked about 17 years old, all of 90 lbs and flat as a pancake. Too young (looking), no curves and not even a cute face = zero sex appeal for me.
The last time that happened to me, I asked her if she really wanted to know (she did) so I explained why she had no sex appeal to me. She thanked me for being honest and left me alone.
So the proper answer would be, "Fuck off, please"!
Best approach I have received recently was when a dancer new to me came up to me just after I sat down. Introduced herself and asked my name. Then she said (name)I know that you just got here and want to get your eyes adjusted to the dark and settle in. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that if you need any thing to let me know. I thanked her.
When they do come back and ask how about now it can be awkward. Ideally it doesn't become an issue because by that point I should have my "stripper repellant" in place, a fave or a new interesting girl sitting with me and hanging.
I say no thanks if I am not interested in the girl. If I am interested, a simple "not right now, but could you come back in xx minutes" works well for me.
Chanel, thanks for weighing in from a dancer's perspective.
When I wasn't in clubs often, I was more likely to do a goodwill dance but now not so much. Same with walk by tipping unless it's custom. It gets too expensive, even when spending freely. Blood in the water. Disgruntled dancers aren't a problem in and of themselves. They're a problem when they're pissed enough to spread venom to other dancers.
In one club I used to go to regularly, the hottest dancer with equally hot dances was close cousins with the, er, least hottest. Want to know how many guys would ask me why they couldn't get the time of day with the former after brushing off the latter? Too many. Even dancers that are in open competition for customers on a slow day will talk.
But it's still a strip club and dancers are there to make money. You can get past it. From the buyer side, though, it's about how much time you have to work around bad press and options (waitresses, etc.) to handle the "no" gone bad. This topic has really come up at a time when I could write pages and pages because the Seattle scene is such a clusterfuck for non-locals these days. Potholes everywhere.
I think I'm just going to hammer out some reviews, though, and get back to this thread if it's still going on by then...
I am good with always be polite whenever possible, though, and that's getting right back to where LG kicked this off. Now I'm signing off...
I usually say thanks for asking but no thanks.
I've mentioned before that it's like that old Far Side comic where on one panel a dog owner is lecturing his dog, going into great detal about how Ginger has been a bad dog. On the other panel, it shows what the dog hears: blah blah blah blah GINGER blah blah blah blah blah blah blah GINGER blah blah blah blah blah blah blah GINGER blah blah blah blah GINGER blah blah...
All our word and fine distinctions are heard by strippers as: blah blah blah blah YES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah YES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah YES blah blah blah blah YES blah blah...
Think of it from their perspective, if they are walking around asking one customer after another 2 to 3 min conversations, they aren't remembering much. How many strippers forget who you were the next time you show up at the club and remember them? It happens, we're not rude, they aren't rude, it just goes to show how many customers they see a night. So back to question at hand, say whatever the hell you want so long as it is not rude or derogatory and it's fine.
Question- "So would you like a dance?"
Response- "These drinks are expensive"
or
Response- "Purple elephants eat draino"
or
Response- "Did you hear about Swine Flu"
any of responses = not yes = stripper moves on to next guy
Honestly, I'm just thinking we have much different experiences in the clubs. When I can just get left alone and forgotten in the corner I'm having a good day. I see the things you all keep referring to, sure, but see enough above and beyond and completely opposed where I'm not going to nod along because it's expedient.
No but can I borrow $5 for a drink?
Sorry, you're too fat
I would but I'm broke
Go ask everyone else and then come back and maybe I'll think about it
chandler: "Maybe later strikes me as patronizing and inconsiderate of the stripper's time. A lot of strippers are annoyed by it."
Ah, their just dumb whores who won't treat their customers any better. Who gives a fuck what they think?