Whenever I feel like hitting up the titty bars, I just want to relax, listen to some music, and of course watch some good-looking girls dance. Every time I probe a dancer past the usual "where are you from?" and "how old are you?" and she inquires the same of me, the chit-chat always seems to turn into some depressing sob story. C ran away from home at 15 to get away from her druggie mom. K became suicidal after a guy raped her on her 21st birthday. S got knocked up twice by her boyfriend, and now raises her two kids alone. V has a high school education and can't get a normal job. A never even met her father and has to strip to support her mother's medical bills, etc. I understand these girls like to tell guys stories about how they've had such a rough life in the hopes customers will feel sorry for them and spend more money. And I do not question that many of the things these dancers mention are aren't fabrications. If many had came from better environments, perhaps they would not be grinding on a stranger's lap to support themselves. However, if I wanted to give money to the less fortunate, I'd be going to a Salvation Army or United Way office on a Friday night and not a strip club. Listening to sob stories is the ultimate mood killer. I seek the industrial bass, flashing lights, tanned and tattooed flesh of fantasyland as an escape to the dysfunctionality of America, but I only end up being immersed in it even more.
<p>Sinclair, I would agree with you, I'm there to have a good time, and most men come with money to spend, they dont necesarily need to feel guilty to spend it, or be coaxed into doing so. The women are persuasive enough as it is, let alone trying to tell us a sob story. It's nice to get a little personal with your favorite dancer, and every so often you catch them when they're down, and they vent, but I think that's something that needs to stay with them. And I agree it's a mood killer, I just want to have a beer, enjoy the scenery, literally and figuratively, and have a good night out.</p>
To be honest, I'd say you need to visit a different club. Not necessarily a more upscale club (although your chances of finding dancers who are less depressed and more professional at an upscale club are probably better), but a club where the attitude is different. Or, just get to know the dancers better. There are always some sad sacks who want to complain, and others who seem to genuinely enjoy what they do (or take enough drugs so they don't care). The really good ones understand that the fantasy is everything and leads to better $ as well as more "satisfied" customers.
Dancer drama will get you down if you let it. Frankly, I think a lot of it is just SS. My article on Dancer Drama outlines a lot of the issues.<br />
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Remember, your in control, not them. They are the owners of their problems (and most likely the cause), not you. If they want to open up and rant, nothing wrong with listening and maybe getting in a feel or two but don't let it control your wallet or emotions. Their drama itc could be just SS or a prelude to setting up a hookup otc date. If the latter, I will let them know I can help them ($$$) but make clear what I will need in return (I don't ever give advances or pay for what I am not getting - I don't give a damn if they are about to be evicted). They wil unload all kinda SS on you to get you to give them money for nothing in return.
Heh, been fortunate to not get any extraordinary SS... but on my last visit to a club it was sort of amusing that in the chatting along she mentioned she used to work in Real Estate until the crash went down. Why, I thought to myself, well that explains how she got me into VIP faster than normal, she hasn't completely lost the sales skills.<br type="_moz" />
I don't know what club(s) you go to, but I've sat down with lots of strippers, and I can't think of one that's tried any sort of 'sob story' on me. some of them aren't too fond of some of the customers (one thing I learned early: treat a stripper like a person and you can get a <i>lot</i> better mileage out of them), but very few really complain about the job very much.<br type="_moz" />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma"><span style="font-size: x-small">I've had a few gals who were depressing. Normally, though, I think they do an excellent job of promoting the fantasy. I know they don't fall in love with every customer, but some of the more skillful ones are experts at making you feel like you are the only one for them. One has to keep their wits about them to avoid falling into the GFE trap. Always remember that you are just a walking, talking ATM machine to them. That said, I traded email addresses with one stripper and she promptly sent me an email saying that her house just burned down and she was homeless and in desparate need of money. Yeah, right.</span></span>
I agree about exercising extreme caution about phone numbers and email addresses unless needed for OTC. Shortly after meeting one dancer and establishing a relationship, she told me "Never give your number to any of the girls here. They'll just end up calling you and asking for money." And even though it would have been convenient for both of us from time to time, she has never asked me for my number, which I respect very much.<br />
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I game my phone number to a dancer about a year ago because I was looking for another dancer who had suddenly disappeared, and I was hoping for some info. Big mistake. Dancer with number started calling frequently, asking for money, asking for me to come in "to see her" etc. Even called me a few times by mistake, confusing me with someone she was trying to meet OTC, leaving a few voice mails I would be happy if no one ever heard. Like I said, unless you need numbers for OTC arrangements keep your personal info to yourself.
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Remember, your in control, not them. They are the owners of their problems (and most likely the cause), not you. If they want to open up and rant, nothing wrong with listening and maybe getting in a feel or two but don't let it control your wallet or emotions. Their drama itc could be just SS or a prelude to setting up a hookup otc date. If the latter, I will let them know I can help them ($$$) but make clear what I will need in return (I don't ever give advances or pay for what I am not getting - I don't give a damn if they are about to be evicted). They wil unload all kinda SS on you to get you to give them money for nothing in return.
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I game my phone number to a dancer about a year ago because I was looking for another dancer who had suddenly disappeared, and I was hoping for some info. Big mistake. Dancer with number started calling frequently, asking for money, asking for me to come in "to see her" etc. Even called me a few times by mistake, confusing me with someone she was trying to meet OTC, leaving a few voice mails I would be happy if no one ever heard. Like I said, unless you need numbers for OTC arrangements keep your personal info to yourself.