Trip With The Stripper

<font size="2"> <p>We had just finished the deed in our favorite hotel room. &quot;Listen&quot;, I told her, &quot;I have an offer. I have a week's vacation that I have to use or lose. I haven't seen my family in twelve years. I don't get along with them. I wonder if you'd like to go along.&quot;</p> <p>&quot;Sure&quot; she said, &quot;I'm down with that.&quot;</p> <p>So, the next day I bought the plane tickets and texted her with the information. Three weeks later, very early in the morning, she met me at my place. I loaded her stuff in my car and we crossed town to get to the airport.</p> <p>It was my first time traveling by air in twelve years. In the 1980's and 90's, I frequently traveled, but I had settled down and only traveled by car since. 9/11 changed everything and I was unfamiliar with the new airport security procedures. She gently chided me for not being better informed. In any case, our plane actually left the gate a few minutes ahead of time.</p> <p>The approach to our destination airport will forever be memorable to me. The plane shook, it swerved, and it acted like it was about to break up. The passengers didn't panic. There wasn't any screams and two people across the aisle acted like it was normal for a plane to act like it's pilot was having an epilectic fit. I noticed that the pilot was making a revolution of the airport area. Although it was eighty degrees in the valley that day, the thermals were as if the temp was twenty degrees higher. I was relieved when the plane finally set down.</p> <p>Once at the Albuquerque airport, we had to take a shuttle bus to the rental car center. It was a Sunday and I knew very well from being a onetime city resident, and briefly an employee at the rental car center, that a rental car would be available without reservations made. In any case, when the young turd at the Enterprise counter found out that I didn't have reservations, he took on a scolding tone. My date decided to join in on the scolding.</p> <p>&quot;When I travel to the west or east coast&quot;, I told her, &quot;I know reservations are necessary. This guy is just being a turd.&quot;</p> <p>On the way to the car, she continued her scolding, adding in her monologue that if I traveled, I'd know better.</p> <p>&quot;So&quot; the turd asked, &quot;you haven't traveled before?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;No&quot;, I answered, &quot;I haven't traveled by air in twelve years, but before then I traveled extensively, London, Berlin, Manila, and Tokyo. Where have you been?&quot;</p> <p>He knew then to shut up.</p> <p>Our first stop was my brother's house. My date quickly felt like a fifth wheel and retired to the pool to dip her feet. ****** is half my age and her skin is considerably darker than mine. She is stunningly beautiful. When I asked her to take the trip with me, it was only with the offer of providing only her airfare, hotel, and meals. So, the second I was alone with my brother, I was able to answer his question honestly, but he revealed why I'm estranged from my family.</p> <p>&quot;You're paying her, aren't you?&quot;</p> <p>&quot;No.&quot;</p> <p>In high school my brother was the big stud. He turned down dozens of date offers every day. I, on the other hand, was the focused nerd, with a game plan to escape our tiny town and start a successful military career. Most of our peers either married in high school, or right after. Although my brother married right after high school, it was after he had also joined the military.</p> <p>I shook off the insult and we spent the afternoon there so that I could see his now late teenage kids. The last time I had seen them, they were toddlers. It was, I thought, a nice visit. At dinner time we went to meet my sister and niece at a place that has karaoke. My niece, a music teacher knew a place where other music teachers gathered for karaoke.</p> <p>The evening's entertainment was quite good. I've never been to karaoke and was under the impression that a karaoke bar was where drunk people sang off key, however, music teachers have an ear for music and I didn't hear anyone sing off key. One of the two surprises that night was when my date sang Mariah Carey's &quot;<b>Hero</b>&quot;. She managed to cover all of Mariah's musical range. ***** is actually multi talented and smart, but she chooses not to apply herself.</p> <p>During the evening, our company pushed very hard that I needed to take ***** to the Sandia Casino to stay in the hotel. The Casino is at the base of the mountain. My company that evening felt that the incredible views would be romantic and would lead to lovemaking. However, we were both exhausted and desperately needed sleep. ***** had spent most of her life at sea level and acclimating to the altitude was taking it's toll on her.</p> <p>I slept eight hours that night and ***** slept nearly eleven hours. Still, her late rising worked well into my plans for that day. I had planned lunch on top of the mountain, so arriving at the tram just as lunch started was appropo timing.</p> <p>The tram trip to the top of the mountain can be very educational for first timers. Among the points of interest is the wreckage of two planes. ***** was very curious about the wreckage and she was insulted at the guide's lack of patience. Once on the mountain, I explained to her that the mountain is one of mystery, with a giant atom bomb base under the mountain, and the fact that the mountain is half owned by native Americans, who consider the mountain sacred.</p> <p>After lunch, we made a trip to my sister's ranch. I had deliberately kept the visit there at two hours as my sister is absolutely thrilled with her in laws, but everyone else is put off by their massive consumption of beer. The two hour visit would mean the inlaws wouldn't have time to come over.</p> <p>Dinner that night was at older female cousin's place. ***** was put off by the dinner and after dinner conversation, but as she's recently found out, my cousin is the only genuine person in my family. Although other family members were pleasant, their pleasantness is actually fake.</p> <p>After dinner, we went to check out the city's nightlife. 25 years ago, Albuquerque was quite the live music city, but everyone we talked to seemed to be confused as to where to find live music. We finally found a couple of clubs, but it was obvious that something was irking her. I cut the clubbing short and we went to the hotel.</p> <p>We undressed and climbed into bed. She grabbed my hand and placed it between her legs, she was sopping wet. I actually hadn't bargained for activity on the trip, but there was a happy ending.</p> <p>The next morning, I had a couple of administrative things to do pertaining to land I own in New Mexico. With the business settled, we met my niece for lunch. Her two girls had been out of town (with dad) when we did karaoke, so I was able to meet great nieces I had never met.</p> <p>After lunch, we turned in the rental car and caught our plane out.</p> <p>So, tips for taking a trip with a stripper:</p> <p>1) Keep the trip to three days and two nights. After three days, fish and company stink.</p> <p>2) Keep her engaged in activities. Don't just leave her in a hotel room where she'll become bored and start doing/thinking things to ruin your time together.</p> <p>3) Make sure at least one of the activities is an eye popping and memorable event for her.</p> <p>4) Lastly, make sure she feels she is your equal on the trip. Don't put her in the &quot;I'm paying, so you owe me&quot; position. Make sure she feels she's on vacation and she'll reward you. If she feels at ease, she'll put you at ease, and after all-isn't that what we all want?</p> </font>