How to get dances from hottest chicks instead of having them ignore you

I've read so many reviews where PLs go, "Man, I spent an hour in the club, but none of the hot girls ever asked me for a dance, only the ugly ones." I'm flabbergasted by that. It's really not a complicated problem to solve.

Honestly, this can be just one sentence: Tell the hot chicks you want a dance from them. Don't sit in the corner of the room hoping they will use their magic powers to read your mind and pick you out from a crowd of other horny, fugly PLs. As one of the dancers put it after one of the reviews where a PL kept going on and on about not being asked for a dance by the hot chicks: "Don't be such a pussy and just tell us. We are dancers, not mind readers."

Here's what always works for me: Sit by the stage (or come to the stage when you see the chick you want). When you see a chick that you want a dance from, tip her whatever the going rate is. These days it's more often a couple of singles rather than just a $1. If you really want to get her attention, tip her a $5—but that's a bit desperate/simp to me. When she makes her way to your tip to pick it up (and she will), she will say something like, "Hi, how are you? Thank you!" or whatever. Even if she doesn't say anything, she'll have to squat in front of you to pick up the tip. That's your cue. Just tell her, "Would you like to do a dance for me when you're done with your stage?"

Trust me, you will not be shut down. You will not have to relive the shame and humiliation of having a hot chick laugh at you in a regular bar when you offer to buy her a drink or whatnot. Every single dancer will love it, no matter how much of a PL you are. Giving you dances is their job. You are making their job so much easier by telling them you’ve got cash and you want to spend it on them. Rather than them having to make rounds and ask guys, "Do you want a dance?"—or worse yet, sit down with each one and pretend to be interested and have a bit of small talk with each one of the PLs—here you are, offering your life's savings so she can go buy that $80,000 purse or those $20,000 shoes or whatever the fuck strippers spend all of their money on. OK, let's be real—sometimes it's just a meal for their kids.

Now, I'm shy and introverted, but not in a strip club. In a strip club, I'm Brad Pitt/George Clooney/Channing Tatum/pick whoever the fuck you think a cool dude is. It's all about P4P. They want your money; you want their company. It's very, very simple. And even if the chick is popular, simply telling her you’re interested makes it a sure thing 9 times out of 10 that you will get that dance from the chick you think is a perfect 10.

I had a few conversations about this with dancers. They mentioned how much they love being asked and how much they hate having to go around and offer themselves, and then be shut down by some ugly loser PL time and again. It's hurtful and demoralizing to them. Yes, they have to grow thicker skin, and yes, it's a part of the job. But even girls who have worked as dancers for years still mention how weird it is for them to have this "balance of power shift" where instead of being hit on endlessly and having to fend off guys, they are the ones having to go around and flirt with PLs and be shut down more often than not.

So, if a girl asks a guy next to you but doesn't ask you after he shuts her down—no, she doesn't resent you, or think you are super creepy, or whatever. They have dignity and self-respect, and they can only take so much rejection with a straight face and a smile. Don't take it personally, and just ask them yourself.

There are a couple of caveats here. Some fucked-up clubs now have waitresses pick up the tips off the stage rather than the dancer herself (looking at you, Lake City Deja Vu). That does invalidate the "ask her when she's getting your tip" strategy. I don't have a good suggestion here other than—chase her down, I guess. I've done that. It's annoying as fuck. But there was one chick that I wanted dances from, so I just followed her while she was making rounds. Put a friendly hand on her waist (not her ass) or her shoulder like you’re old friends, smile (your least creepy smile), and ask. More complicated and makes you seem like even more of a PL than you are (I'm including myself in the PL population, no offense meant to anyone reading), but still works.

The only major drawback with this strategy (you asking the chick rather than her asking you) is, of course, you lose your negotiating power in places where dancers are "independent contractors and can set their own prices." I prefer fixed-price places—like all dances are $20 or whatever. That makes things simple. If prices range from $30 to $50 (as they do in fucked-up Seattle, with $30 being hard to find these days), you have to be a bit more ambiguous, like, "Come talk to me about doing a dance after your stages." That way you're not necessarily committing if she quotes you $50/dance, but you're still getting her attention. After that, don't be a simp—negotiate a reasonable fee for the area.

That's about it. I hope it helps those that always feel left out and are never able to get a dance from the girl they want. Yes, there will be girls hogged by regulars or committed to someone for many dances, but that doesn't happen all that often.

Let me know if you have a different strategy for doing this—always willing to learn.