This is the tale of my wondrous Houdini boxers and how they changed my life.
First, you must understand that during my early years as a strip club monger “table dances” were a new idea. There were no “lap dances” yet and “a good grind” back then referred to a good cup of coffee.
Just as the lap dance were becoming available, I happened to own a pit of silk boxers that I later began to refer to as my Houdini boxers.” Lap dances in the early days were not the same kind of grinding, dry-humping experience they have become in our modern age of enlightenment. They were more subtle and there was usually some daylight (or even a lot of daylight) between you and your dancer.
That didn’t mean the lap dances were not exhilarating. They were novel and a lap dance that would now be regarded as a total waste of time used to really get my motor running. My silk boxers were the most comfortable pair of boxers I owned at that time . They fit well and provided great comfort regardless of whether I was sitting behind my desk working like a dog or slouching, knees wide apart at a strip club watching a scantily clad young lady provocatively shaking her hips inches from my engorged kielbasa.
For reasons that I will probably never understand, Pink Floyd very often managed to escape from my Houdini boxers (and hence, their name). For whatever reason, when I sat in lap-dance mode, the pecker-vent seemed to open just a tad and, as Pink Floyd awoke, he very often seemed to just naturally emerge from my Houdini boxers.
As lap dances progressed from air-shows to the more delicious high-contact art from we have learned to love today, I couldn’t help but notice that Pink Floyd’s escape from his silken prison made him more accessible and placed him in a better position to enjoy his encounters with the delightful forces of the Pink Side.
It was at this point that I had my inspiration: Why not do away with the Houdini boxers all together and purposefully wear sheer, smooth trousers that would maximize tactile pleasures?
If a super-thin condom is better than a steel-belted redial condom, then surely sheer, soft pants would be preferable to overalls or heavy jeans when enjoying a lap dance at a strip club.
So the Houdini boxers were left behind and I acquired several pair of sheer, soft-fingered trousers that I could wear into strip clubs. Over time, I learned that dark colors were better as they more effectively concealed wet spots that may develop as a result of accidental or unexpected desplooginations.
Although I still remember my Houdini boxers, I don’t really miss them. I usually go commando if I plan to go to a strip club and usually wear suitable (i.e., sheer, smooth fibered trousers) that maximize comfort and tactile pleasures. I once had a pair of trousers that were so thin and soft, it was almost like going into the strip naked from the waist down.
As God is my witness, I wish I still had those trousers!
That said, I have never worn “sweat pants” to a strip club.
Houdini boxers and sheer, soft trousers are not as indispensable as they once were. Strip clubs, particularly those with VIP rooms, have evolved into dungeons of depravity so perverse, that even if you wear a suit of armor to the club, the girls will extricate your privates in order to exorcise your sticky demons.
Despite this new reality, I still prefer to wear comfortable, sheer, soft trousers that make me more accessible from the start.
