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georgmicrodong

Just a fat, creepy old pervert.

The next few months in Louisville will feature several conventions, the most notable of which is the annual "Farmers" convention (officially, the "National Farm Machinery Show"), which will run February 13-16 this year. In addition, there's the Kentucky Derby Festival. This year, the Festival kicks off on April 13th with Thunder Over Louisville, one of the largest fireworks shows in the nation, and culminating in the running of the 145th Kentucky Derby itself on May 4th. There a variety of highly entertaining activities during the festivities, not least of which are the Oaks and Derby races themselves, but reviews of those should be sought elsewhere.

If you've planned on attending Farmers or Derby, and haven't yet booked a hotel, you are probably going to be out of luck for anything near the event itself. Hotel rooms for Derby started booking about 30 seconds after last year's race finished, and the vast majority of hotels, even the local no-tells (Louisville Manor in KY and the Pyramid in IN) really jack up the rates, especially for Derby weekend itself. Some of the outlying areas, e.g. Elizabethtown, Bardstown, Shepherdsville, Oldham County, might still be available and less expensive, but even they are are more expensive than usual.

There are a fairly large number of strip clubs, relative to the city's size anyway, in Louisville, ranging from fairly high class (for a strip club) to dives that sink pretty low. For both Farmers and Derby, there will be a large number of out of town strippers at the clubs here, which is a mixed blessing. Lots and lots and lots of hot women, but with all the money flying around, most of them won't provide the mileage that most locals are probably used to; they won't have to. The local girls don't usually like the competition, so that sometimes offsets some of this. Unfortunately, with the convention and festival, also come the anti-trafficking activists, and increased law enforcement presence in the clubs. Be aware also that the 7th Street, Arcade Ave, Taylor Blvd, Berry Blvd is also sometimes one of the local streetwalker strolls, and LEO does patrol.

For this year's list, I've listed the clubs in the rough order of *my* preference. For the clubs I frequent, this is based on visits over most nights in a week, and some day visits as well. For clubs that I do not visit very often, I've tried to make a Friday or Saturday night visit prior to completing this article to hopefully present the most useful information. For clubs near the track or convention center, even the day shift sees more, and more attractive, girls.

This is a summary of clubs. For more detail, you should refer to the individual club pages. Note that for *all* clubs on the Kentucky side of the river, nudity is prohibited by law. This means no bare breasts unless the nipple is covered. Some clubs choose to let the girls use pasties, some simply require the girls to keep their tops on, and some don't care which. One club lets the girls use clear or flesh colored latex paint as a pasty, which can look pretty realistic, but isn't at all realistic to touch. That club doesn't allow much touching anyway though.

Unless otherwise noted, all clubs on the Kentucky side have a drink hustle, where you buy time with the stripper by buying her a drink, a portion of the cost of which the dancer is paid. Prices range from $16-$24 for the lowest level, all the way up to $60 plus for extended time. Expect the girls to move on quickly if you choose not to buy them a drink, especially when it's busy or the waitresses are being pricks. I have never bought more than the lowest level drink in any club here, and then (with the exception of favorites who I know won't screw me over on the time) only when I actually want to talk for an extended time and the club is busy. Otherwise, I buy dances or VIPs most of the time.

The clubs.

Blue Diamond (7th Street): Small inside, usually a good variety of women of different sizes and colors, often including a few of Mexican or Cuban origin. Google Translate is your friend. Little to no stage show. Five of the the most private VIP rooms in town. Lap dances are pointless, there's nowhere even close to private to do them. After 10 pm is the best time.

Foxy Lady (Berry Blvd): Weekend nights feature lots and lots of girls of all sizes, shapes and colors. Lap dance factory, and dancer dependent high mileage is possible, as the area is semi-private. Six VIP rooms, which are available for hour long sojourns only, no half hours. Constant stage show after about 8, and approximately hourly name announcing parade of all available girls on stage.

Thorobred Lounge (7th and Berry): Not very busy lately, but also usually some good looking girls. Tends towards skinny white girls and thicker AA girls. Lately one hot Asian girl. There's a mix, of course, that that's the trend I've been sing lately. Sporadic stage show when the manager isn't there, almost constant when she is. One hour VIP room, and three half hour ones. Lap dances done in the open.

Pussycat Lounge (Poplar Level Rd): Recently remodeled and looks much nicer inside, though the floor plan didn't change. Less variety in girls than other clubs, and what there is often average, with a couple of standouts. Only two VIP rooms, one with a couch and one with a chair and stage.

Rustic Frog (Old River Rd, IN): Big inside. Girls often wear pasties, but often do not, even on stage; have gotten conflicting stories on whether it's required or not. Often not worthwhile with regard to variety of dancers until late evening, around 10 or 11. When it's good, it can be very good, though expensive. No drink hustle.

PT's Showclub (downtown): Glitzy and high priced. Usually has some of the best looking girls in town. Mostly little to no touching allowed, unless the dancer and bouncer cooperate. Bouncers often stroll through the lap dance area checking. VIPs are the most expensive in town, and least value. Constant stage shows on multiple stages at night, usually only one stage on days. No drink hustle, but the girls will want the good liquor when you choose to buy.

Godfather (Preston Hwy): Another glitzy club, though not as expensive as PT's. Often hot girls very nearly on par with PT's, but with more reasonable prices. Lap dances are no touch, but VIPs can be high mileage. *Very* agressive drink hustle; you should expect a waitress to approach within seconds of a dancer sitting down. Consistent, if not constant, stage shows.

Trixie's (Preston Hwy): I personally think they're attempting to transition to being a music venue. Dances are expensive, but the place is pretty low hustle anymore. Farther out, so not as convenient to the track.

Body Shop (downtown): Very small club. Not a good layout, with the stage behind the bar, and no access while the dancers dance. Instead, they do an annoying post dance tip walk. I've only seen good looking dancers here occasionally, and they don't seem to last long. Prices are not in line with value.

Fantasy's Island (7th Street): Probably the diviest club in Louisville proper. The club itself is shit. With rare exceptions, the dancers are large. Not thick, large. I've seen one dancer I like there in the last six months. Prices not bad, but no privacy at all, no curtains, no doors, in the two VIP rooms.

Greenlight Lounge (7th Street): If you like paying some of the highest prices in Louisville (and probably be extorted for more besides) to be entertained by drug addicts in a smelly club, go for it.

Showgirls (Taylor Blvd, used to be Deja Vu Showgirls): Going downhill. Still a ridiculous cover, still no alcohol, still no nudity.

There's a new one opening in the old Diamond's Cabaret on 7th Street, but I've been there twice now, late on a Friday and Saturday, and there've been no girls there at all. Just the bartender and an obnoxious bouncer with some kind of assault weapon looking thing around his neck who will pat you down.

I still haven't gone down Dixie Highway.