Vegas Hot and Cold

<p> Years ago, I drove to Vegas on a big Western solo camping trip. Scenery in Colorado and Utah was fantastic. Camping in or near Vegas is limited, however. I had hours to kill so I went to the first SC I could find that I had heard of (in Playboy): Palomino in North Vegas.<br /> <br /> COLD: Paid an outrageous cover and was led to my seat by the gorilla in a tux (didn&#39;t tip him, didn&#39;t know why I should). I was back from the stage a long ways in a scalloped booth with a table. Had a two drink minimum and a coke was like $8. As I sat there, I soon realized it was amateur night, and the talent was not very good. In the booth next to me was a woman sitting by herself. Every so often, one of the guys would walk up and say something to her and lean in and kiss her. I looked over and she was looking at me and had her legs crossed and was bouncing her shoe by the toe with that come-hither vibe. I looked away then looked back a few seconds later and she was looking at me and she had her top pulled off her shoulders so that her breasts were fully exposed--a decent rack. I was starting to wonder where this night was going to go and I was thinking about my limited options: an economy car and a sleeping bag and no budget for a fancy hotel.<br /> <br /> All of a sudden, they announced a name and this same woman walked down to the stage and got up to dance. She had shorter hair and once she got her clothes off she had that extra fifty pounds on her waist, ass, and legs that screamed &quot;Mom of three&quot;. The breasts weren&#39;t large and sagged halfway to her belly button. But she had no sense of rhythm and couldn&#39;t dance at all. She kind of &quot;sashayed&quot; around the stage. They started a second song and mercifully cut it short after about 10 seconds. The woman grabbed her stuff and went towards a back door. Didn&#39;t see her again. Glad that I hadn&#39;t jumped on that crazy train. They kept putting more amateurs up there and it was getting to be about 2 am or so and I was thinking that this was a complete disappointment. I had paid about $40 dollars to watch some bad talent, and I couldn&#39;t nurse my drink any further. Time to go.<br /> <br /> HOT: As I was starting to get up, they announced that amateur night was over and they were going back to their regular dancers. They brought out a beauty and I stayed. I tried to get the low-down on the VIP room, but nobody could really tell me what was going on in there. The girls and waitresses made it sound like there was another fee to get in there and another drink minimum and you had to buy the dancer a drink and there might be some contact but there were few specifics. Sounded to me like another rip-off. About the third dancer they introduced was a coed from ASU who flew up for her shows. There was some sort of gauzy curtain thing that looked like it was threaded on a hula hoop and it was lit from above. She started dancing inside that circular curtain and all you could see was a silhouette. Smoking hot body. Then she appeared and looked even hotter.<br /> <br /> Then she rolled out one of those portable stages with a curtain around the bottom and where she could lay on the satin top at about waist-high if a person was standing on the stage. She did some great grinding and spreading while she laid on her back and got on her knees. Then she took a bottle of lotion and squirted some lotion on the base of her neck and the stream slowly traveled down her spine all the way to her butt crack and down her crack. It seemed to take minutes and the crowd was very interested to see where that trickle of lotion was going to go. Sure, it didn&#39;t qualify as a freebie ITC, but I thought the show was well worth it.<br /> <br /> Couldn&#39;t find a room at 4:30 in the morning. Picked a parking lot and slept in the car. Found out later that it would have been a hefty fine had I been caught. Had to drive 20 miles to a campsite for a crappy pay shower. Got out of town before I lost any more of my money. Ah, to be young again. Viva Las Vegas!</p>