Who Wants to Fuck?
The following article was submitted by a customer and originally posted on <a href="http://www.dirtydianasdiary.com">www.dir… />
<br />
I wanted an Elvis Cadillac and I found it on e-bay - a big red 1968 convertible Deville. I flew to Arkansas with the idea of driving it home. Man it was cool, and I felt just great driving into Memphis at dusk with the top down. The oil light came on. I heard the rod knocking in the engine and the dark black smoke began pouring out from under the hood. I was stranded.<br />
<br />
Luckily Memphis is the right place to be when your old Caddy blows the fuck up. I found a shop the next day that had four of the same model cars sitting on the lot. The guy told me the re-build would take five days. Sweet. I figured I would get a hotel room and wait it out. I could really explore the town in five days, you know, have some adventures. I needed to see Graceland anyway - "Taking care of business." as The King would say. Then I would cruise home in an old car with a brand new engine in it. Things were just great.<br />
<br />
Memphis doesn't really have five days worth of attractions, though. It's more of a two-day place. Beale Street: one night. Graceland: a couple of hours. The river: an afternoon and evening. But back then it had the dirtiest, most rule-free titty bars of any place in the country, and that's what this story is really about.<br />
<br />
It was Sunday morning at 11:00. The titty bar next to my hotel had its "OPEN" sign on. I had to investigate because I thought it must be on by mistake, but no, it was open and ready for business. Not only was it open at this strange hour, but offering $1 tall boys all afternoon. I was drawn in and helpless. <br />
<br />
I was halfway through my first beer, sitting at a table against the wall, checking the place out from the shadows when a brassy blond shouted from the bar "Who wants to fuck?" A little beer shot out of my mouth. A busty and beautiful brunette came bouncing toward her from across the bar. "I do, I do!" I was stupefied. Was this a show? It seemed candid and unrehearsed, but it couldn't be for real... could it? (This was my first time in a Memphis club, and I didn't have any idea how wild these place were.) The pair made their way through the club, briefly soliciting the five other patrons in turn, and eventually ended up sitting down with me. I was the last one in line and I was in for the hard sell. I braced myself as best I could.<br />
<br />
"Hey baby." said the blond.<br />
"Hello." I replied.<br />
"We're gonna make you cum." I was doe-eyed. I had no words.. "Take us both to the back room, and we'll make you cum."<br />
"How much?" I managed. <br />
"$80 for both of us for three songs." <br />
<br />
Holy shit. Now I'm no math major, but I know enough to know these were good numbers. I wasn't sure if this was a scam, or if they were just messing with me, or what, but I did know that it was absolutely worth $80 to find out. They led me to the farthest couch in the back room. It was totally private and we were the only ones back there. I still expected a rip-off until the first song started, then I experienced the most amazing lap dance of my life.<br />
<br />
The brunette (The incredibly hot brunette) threw her leg over my shoulder so that her pussy was right next to my face and the blond dove on it. I had imagined this hundreds of thousands of times since I was roughly ten, and I had a difficult time accepting that this was really happening. This just isn't done in good ol' North Carolina. The capacity for rational thought soon drifted away though and there was nothing left to do but stare and grin and drool. It's a strange thing when a fantasy sneaks up on you unprepared. I was out of my element. The show continued and swiftly became more than a spectator sport. I was mildly aware that my pants were being unzipped and a hand was reaching for my cock. Then I was acutely aware that I was very involved. Both girls readjusted and were taking turns tongue-fucking my mouth while stroking my dick. They were making good on their claim. Then the blond crossed the line. She started to go down. I woke up. "Whoa!" I said. She looked up and frowned.<br />
"I'm just gonna suck your cock.." she cooed.<br />
"No, don't" I said. <br />
"But I want to!" <br />
"Really, that's ok. I zipped my pants. I paid the girls the $80 and stammered my sincere thanks. I had to get out of this place! Good God! How do men in Memphis ever have any money for food or rent? I never thought I would argue a girl out of sucking my dick, but I just had. I guess I was just so unprepared and so shocked that it scared me a little. Plus I didn't want cooties.<br />
<br />
I walked out of the bar with a dumb look on my face and got in my car. It was 12:00. I felt a little ashamed that I had been there and done that during a time that I associated with church. Then I started to laugh. I still laugh. Best damned Sunday school lesson I ever learned. <br />
<br />
A side note to all who read this: Sadly the good Memphis citizens grew tired of these wide-open clubs and made a bunch of laws that require the girls to dance clean. (Yes, I went back a few years later just to visit this club again.) I imagine many Tennessee men are now able to pay their rent and the world is better off, but damn, I'm glad I saw it before they did!<br />
<br />
Mr. ISH
<br />
I wanted an Elvis Cadillac and I found it on e-bay - a big red 1968 convertible Deville. I flew to Arkansas with the idea of driving it home. Man it was cool, and I felt just great driving into Memphis at dusk with the top down. The oil light came on. I heard the rod knocking in the engine and the dark black smoke began pouring out from under the hood. I was stranded.<br />
<br />
Luckily Memphis is the right place to be when your old Caddy blows the fuck up. I found a shop the next day that had four of the same model cars sitting on the lot. The guy told me the re-build would take five days. Sweet. I figured I would get a hotel room and wait it out. I could really explore the town in five days, you know, have some adventures. I needed to see Graceland anyway - "Taking care of business." as The King would say. Then I would cruise home in an old car with a brand new engine in it. Things were just great.<br />
<br />
Memphis doesn't really have five days worth of attractions, though. It's more of a two-day place. Beale Street: one night. Graceland: a couple of hours. The river: an afternoon and evening. But back then it had the dirtiest, most rule-free titty bars of any place in the country, and that's what this story is really about.<br />
<br />
It was Sunday morning at 11:00. The titty bar next to my hotel had its "OPEN" sign on. I had to investigate because I thought it must be on by mistake, but no, it was open and ready for business. Not only was it open at this strange hour, but offering $1 tall boys all afternoon. I was drawn in and helpless. <br />
<br />
I was halfway through my first beer, sitting at a table against the wall, checking the place out from the shadows when a brassy blond shouted from the bar "Who wants to fuck?" A little beer shot out of my mouth. A busty and beautiful brunette came bouncing toward her from across the bar. "I do, I do!" I was stupefied. Was this a show? It seemed candid and unrehearsed, but it couldn't be for real... could it? (This was my first time in a Memphis club, and I didn't have any idea how wild these place were.) The pair made their way through the club, briefly soliciting the five other patrons in turn, and eventually ended up sitting down with me. I was the last one in line and I was in for the hard sell. I braced myself as best I could.<br />
<br />
"Hey baby." said the blond.<br />
"Hello." I replied.<br />
"We're gonna make you cum." I was doe-eyed. I had no words.. "Take us both to the back room, and we'll make you cum."<br />
"How much?" I managed. <br />
"$80 for both of us for three songs." <br />
<br />
Holy shit. Now I'm no math major, but I know enough to know these were good numbers. I wasn't sure if this was a scam, or if they were just messing with me, or what, but I did know that it was absolutely worth $80 to find out. They led me to the farthest couch in the back room. It was totally private and we were the only ones back there. I still expected a rip-off until the first song started, then I experienced the most amazing lap dance of my life.<br />
<br />
The brunette (The incredibly hot brunette) threw her leg over my shoulder so that her pussy was right next to my face and the blond dove on it. I had imagined this hundreds of thousands of times since I was roughly ten, and I had a difficult time accepting that this was really happening. This just isn't done in good ol' North Carolina. The capacity for rational thought soon drifted away though and there was nothing left to do but stare and grin and drool. It's a strange thing when a fantasy sneaks up on you unprepared. I was out of my element. The show continued and swiftly became more than a spectator sport. I was mildly aware that my pants were being unzipped and a hand was reaching for my cock. Then I was acutely aware that I was very involved. Both girls readjusted and were taking turns tongue-fucking my mouth while stroking my dick. They were making good on their claim. Then the blond crossed the line. She started to go down. I woke up. "Whoa!" I said. She looked up and frowned.<br />
"I'm just gonna suck your cock.." she cooed.<br />
"No, don't" I said. <br />
"But I want to!" <br />
"Really, that's ok. I zipped my pants. I paid the girls the $80 and stammered my sincere thanks. I had to get out of this place! Good God! How do men in Memphis ever have any money for food or rent? I never thought I would argue a girl out of sucking my dick, but I just had. I guess I was just so unprepared and so shocked that it scared me a little. Plus I didn't want cooties.<br />
<br />
I walked out of the bar with a dumb look on my face and got in my car. It was 12:00. I felt a little ashamed that I had been there and done that during a time that I associated with church. Then I started to laugh. I still laugh. Best damned Sunday school lesson I ever learned. <br />
<br />
A side note to all who read this: Sadly the good Memphis citizens grew tired of these wide-open clubs and made a bunch of laws that require the girls to dance clean. (Yes, I went back a few years later just to visit this club again.) I imagine many Tennessee men are now able to pay their rent and the world is better off, but damn, I'm glad I saw it before they did!<br />
<br />
Mr. ISH
Want 4 weeks free VIP to tuscl?
Write an article
6 comments
<div id="refHTML"> </div>
<br />
But even if they were homely, I wouldn't walk away from two chicks while they were blowing me.