I arrived at 2 p.m. Cover...

I arrived at 2 p.m. Cover was five bucks and so was the bottled water. When I pulled up in the lot, I noticed the marquee said "Help Wanted" (not a good sign). Then, I went inside and things got worse. First, it was pitch black (blacker than usual). When a club is so pitch black that your range of vision is less than three feet, it's a bad sign. First, no dancer approached me for thirty minutes, and second, dancers appearing onstage were very thick and slow moving. No dancer was higher than a 5 this day. The first dancer that approached me was ugly as sin and she looked like she was on something. The second dancer that approached me, Cameron, had a sweet face and pleasant personality, but when we got back to the back room, things rapidly went downhill. I have heard the phrase "Sad car wreck of a body", but Cameron's body was a fifteen car pileup on the 405. Then, when she started to dance, it was an air dance-a total air dance. While I was incredulous about that, I suddenly realized that I didn't want to touch her body. The blue bulb in the room revealed that Cameron had as much hair on her back and ass as I did, and I'm a bear of a man. When she finished the dance, she asked "Did you like that?" I stood bolt upright, dropped a 20 on the end table, and fled the room without a word. "Have a Good Evening" she sarcastically called after me. I not only fled the room, but the club as well. It will be a good long while before I return there.